Hack & Splat

by blank at 11:09 PM on July 10, 2003

So, this weekend I was hanging out with friends (yes, I have some) and the topic of “most embarrassing moment” came up. I couldn’t remember anything at the time. I must have suppressed such memories. Today, for some reason, I remembered a moment.

I think I was in fourth or fifth grade, at the time, and my dad had a '57 Chevy. Since it was a street rod, he had to take it to car shows. Since I was his kid, he had to take me along. Being a kid, I was entertained for about five minutes. I went off and hung out with these other kids in a nearby building. They were hanging out, being cool and spitting loogies on the ceiling tiles. Most of them were to short and had to jump up in the air to get their spit up high enough to stick. Then it would slowly hang and drip down. For some reason, this was really funny.

They were older than me and I was trying to fit in so, I started to hack up a loogie of my own. I had a good one worked up, nice and thick, and it started to run down my throat, so I hacked a little harder. Just as I leaped up to spit, the slime in my throat triggered my gag reflex and my stomach emptied itself. I’m talking mid-air, projectile, Technicolor yawn.

It didn’t get on anyone, but they still left in a hurry. I think it had a lot to do with the smell. I kind-of half-assed wiped it up with some paper towels and fled the scene.

The end.

Moral of the story: Peer pressure = vomit