The inspector did her on the tool chest

by anna at 06:09 PM on July 10, 2003

Gather round, both you amateur sleuths. We've got a mystery to solve. Like Clue, you'll find it replete with extraneous red herrings.

On the road from my home to my job is a Sunoco station that sells gas for a dime more per gallon that the one across station. Its sundries are likewise overpriced. It boasts 3 mechanic bays but I've never seen a car hoisted on its lifts. Hell, I've never even seen a mechanic on the premise. It grudgingly does state inspections but only until 1:00 PM. Yet it does a brisk business and I think I know why.

One of the Beltway Sniper shootings occured at this station. An omminous looking stain was on the pavement. A spooked local populace avoided the Sunoco like the plague. But once the perps were caught they all flocked back. I asked Heidi the cashier what it was like to have the sniper strike there. All sh would allow was that it was "weird." I thought, that's it just weird? No more than that?

Heidi is a mildy hot Hispanic tamale who looks like a cross between Salma Hayek and Marisa Tomei in a Sunoco shirt tucked into ultra-tight black slacks. Once she dropped my change and could barely bend over to pick it up. Lips that never meet are painted a conspicuous shade of crimson but she doesn't wear any other makeup. Another time she yawned in a real exagerated way, begging the question: "Are you tired?" She launched into an elaborate explanation involvin her and her six month old who suffers with colic. I'm like, TMI. Unlike the sniper conversation wherein she'd almost seemed as if she had something to hide.

Every time I go there she's on the phone, speaking Spanish in an animated way. It's clear these are personal calls not gas station business. Yet she never botches my transaction, which is more than I can say for lots of cashiers who are concentrating solely on their mundane jobs.

Lecherous looking delivery men linger long after their business is concluded, waiting their turn to converse with Heidi. During her laugh-laced phone conversations, they often smile inappropriately. Since it's all in Spanish I have no idea why. Afterwards she converses with them in Spanish and sometimes mysterious scraps of paper are exchanged.

I've bought gas there countless times because I don't want the hassle of going across the highway to save a dollar or two. I've never seen another cashier or a manager who might monitor Heidi's activities. This chick must work 60-70 hours a week in addition to whatever else she's got going on.

Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to determine what the fuck is going on at this Sunoco given only the facts I've chosen to provide. This post will self-destruct in thirty seconds....