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I got the powuh!
by effenheimer at 11:25 AM on July 11, 2003
I have kept remote control batteries working for as long as six years by licking the ends and reinserting them every time they die. I don’t know what the scientific name for this is, but try it and you will be amazed at how you can save as much as a dollar over the lifetime of your VCR by doing this kind of primitive battery CPR.
Some people think this makes me cheap, but I say that makes me frugal. Cheap is when you buy the driest, weakest, most uncomfortable brand of single-ply toilet paper just to save the extra quarter a month it costs for the good stuff. I mean really, the difference between bad toilet paper and the greatest toilet paper in the world is like a dime.
Me mum is one of those people who buys sandpaper just becuase its a little cheaper. Whenever I go to her house, I just want to grab her and shout, "C’mon lady, live a little! Here's a handful of pennies now go to the store and spring for some quilted Nortern with the lotion and vitamin E extract that smells like petunias for the love of God!"
comments (3)
I skimp on the dumbest things too. I have no problem chucking a grand gambling, but when it comes to soap, my fiance and I spent about a half hour to determine a brand for purchase that would have cost a maximum of 1 dollar each way, while we then are forced to pay the vigorous mandatory payment(the vig) for Brita filters because that's the only brand. Then some homeless fuck dares give me a dirty look because I don't have 'change'. I'll bitchslap the 'oppressed' more like 'lazy and uneducated when he had the opportunity to be educated but would rather have been a 'homey''. This weekend, while walking the increasingly disgusting streets of manhattan, if some motherfucker makes sexual gestures at my fiance or says some bullshit pertaining to her good looks, I will simply have to lay down the law and perhaps vocalize the most vile of un-political correctness.
by LOCKHEED at July 11, 2003 3:33 PM
At my college dorm the miserly RA announced that we were running dangerously low on TP. He said that we crumplers were going to have to become folders. Coming from a relatively affluent background, I'm like WTF---why don't you just go out and buy more? Which I wound up doing myself, double-ply. I was the TP magnate of Chetham Hall.
by anna at July 11, 2003 5:30 PM
the romans used to wash their cracks after taking a shite. seems reasonable enough. I like to keep a clothing optional theme at the hacienda sometimes and washing just makes one feel clean in a way that no TP can.
by eff at July 11, 2003 7:05 PM