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I can't remember what I did or what you threw at me...
by linz at 12:56 AM on March 13, 2003
Okay, so mg is not the only one who can post drunk, right?
So maybe I am, maybe I'm not.
But tonight was my girl's bday (as you may have gleaned from the "greeting card" of my last post) and we went to see a few bands. A few bands were playing. A guy from college, who is far far away, emailed me, and said "Go see my friends from high school; they are playing down the street from you." And that band, they sang with British accents, and the lead singer, I swear to god, he humped the stairs to the stage. For way longer than anyone should be asked to ignore. And people were slam dancing. I didn't think that happened anymore. I was unfortunately mistaken.
I don't know what the threshhold is for acceptable numbers in front of which to hump the stage, but I'll tell ya, 10 ain't it baby. And I tell you what else, if I know you are from Philly you best not be saying your girl has gone awaye, instead of away. I know you aren't British. And I'm gonna tell every one else in the audience.
But here's the really ridiculous thing. I made out with an 18-year-old. Oh, god, I am not kidding. I am sitting here in my suede J-Lo hat in the apartment complex public "office" where some dude probably just jerked off--because there was no screen saver on when I walked in here and it is way too late for anyone else to have innocent business in this "office"--and I am telling you, I made out with an 18-year-old.
And I am not ashamed. In fact, I am honored. I am glad to know I am still hot to 18-year-old drummers in bands that are playing the east coast in shitty little bars where there are 10 people and half of them are (to my shock and dismay) slam-dancing and the band before them (to my deep amusement and grave concern) is humping the stage. Did anyone else pray and naively believe slam dancing no longer took place? Well it does, in sad little Georgia Tech bars with weird little punk kids with spiked red-tipped hair.
I kissed an 18-year-old boy!!
We've never met but somehow I just knew you wore suede hats. Slam dancing?
by Anna at March 13, 2003 07:39 AM
Yeah, but did you know I made out with 18-year-olds?
As a P.S. to my post, thank the gods I got Waffle House on my way home, because I would be in much sorrier shape this morning otherwise.
by Linz at March 13, 2003 08:45 AM
Is "Waffle House" southern slang for 18 year-old penis?
by mg at March 13, 2003 09:13 AM
by Linz at March 13, 2003 09:48 AM
MG, that's a southern secret, how did you find out in NY. Actually, it's slang for a house full of 18 year olds.
by Joseph at March 13, 2003 09:49 AM
Linz! You bad, bad girl. Man, I wish I was 18, living in Atlanta, and kissing Linz. *wink*
by Ezy at March 13, 2003 04:15 PM
I'm not impressed with your inferencing today, EZY.
by Eviltom at March 13, 2003 05:03 PM
I was waiting for that Evil One. I am now complete and can go home satisfied.
by Ezy at March 13, 2003 05:21 PM
No, Ezy, you wish you were holding the Satan Feline in your bearish embrace, not Linz. If I had to make a decision, I'd say that Linz has more evil in her than the Satan Feline. In fact, I'd bet 10,000 Israeli Shekels. Seriously. Have Satan Lady read BADSAM and start Commenting on Linz's Posts, especially her 'puppy' love posts. Slowly, but surely, you'll know what Evil uses as it's guise. It's no surprise that EVILTOM loves Linz the most, none whatsoever. 18 year old gets kisses from I'd guess a 23-26 year old, who frequents college bars... do you think you'll ever stop flirting Linz? That'll be the day.
by LOCKHEED at March 13, 2003 06:55 PM
Dude, you're scaring me. Check out my post, which you inspired. Say something cool.
by Anna at March 13, 2003 08:26 PM
Lockheed, I'm 24, and no, it's unlikely I'll ever stop flirting... You can throw in your lot with my brother-in-law, who is convinced I don't have a soul. I think given my lack of maturity in the love department I should probably ONLY patronize college bars... Thanks for the idea...
by Linz at March 14, 2003 08:53 AM
Linz, where does your brother in law live, I'm gonna kick his ass. I'm quite certain you have a beautiful soul and I bet he's just jealous because you don't flirt with him.
by Joseph at March 14, 2003 10:33 AM
So would that be like that scene in Fight Club where the guy beats himself up?
While you're beating "him" up, could you ask my brother-in-law why, if he thinks I have a beautiful soul, is "he" always so rude to me?
by Linz at March 14, 2003 11:40 AM
I think "he" would tell you it's a defense mechanism, but "he" can't, "he" isn't here, "he's" gone MARLA
by NotJoseph at March 14, 2003 12:34 PM
I was in love with an 18-year old brown-skinned sugar plum when I was 23. I never had the balls to make a move. We used to go out after work and get shit-faced and everyone would look and think, "what is that girl doing hanging around with that fucknut?" I wondered the same. Holy shit she was beautiful--perfection incarnate.
I don't know how it is with most guys at that age, but I was horrible at sex until I turned 19/20. "Quick" would be the understatement of the century; I used to come just administering oral to my high school girlfriend. Now I make Peter North look like a Boy Scout.
by douchenation at March 14, 2003 03:22 PM
You just made me realize something. Though I lost my virginity at 17, I have never slept with a teenager. That guy was 21, and we dated til I was 21, and then I dated guys my own age or older.
I know, this probably isn't interesting to anyone but me.
by Linz at March 14, 2003 03:42 PM
Yes it is. I am fascinated by those studies that show what percentage of recent HS graduates are "virgins." Usually it's like 30%. I'll turn 44 Monday, and presumably morals are even more lax now. Yet every single person I knew, provided anyone would have them, had sex repeatedly by the time they were 16. Anal, oral, all of it. All you had to do was promise not to "use" them. Something doesn't add up here.
by Anna at March 14, 2003 07:55 PM
You know, I was a virgin until I hit college. Which probably explains why my overwhelming desire to have anal, oral, and all of it with a 16 year-old.
by mg at March 14, 2003 11:10 PM
Not that women aren't attractive after 16-18; it's just that many achieve their optimum attractiveness during those years. When I was that age, my cock was going up and down like an elevator at the Marriot Marquis. Seven years later...well, it feels as if a week has passed--so they're still enormously appealing to me. The point is, a lot of chicks are never hotter than they were at 18. I know some girls who would have knocked your socks off at 17...now they look as if they were catapulted into a brick wall face-first.
Don't get me wrong--I'd pork Renee Russo in a heartbeat, but if her grand-daughter wanderd on to the set...I might have to violate parole.
by douchenation at March 15, 2003 03:10 AM
*wishes the word pork could be reserved for food items*
by Linz at March 20, 2003 11:07 AM