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Same as it ever was

by anna at 07:42 AM on February 16, 2006

Way back in 1979 Islamic militants overthrew the US-backed puppet known as the Shah. The group, including the current president, snatched hundreds of US embassy employees and held them hostage. These events impacted me personally because many of the Shah's associates fled to this area. Their children worked for my parents. One of them was also my soccer teammate. Another was my girlfriend. Persians are beautiful people who go to great lengths to distinguish themselves from Arabs.

Nonetheless my friends and I went downtown to a rally, shouting hateful anti-Iranian slogans and tossing our signature Molotov cocktails off the back of pickup truck. My girlfriend was less than amused. No Persian nookie that night.

A lot has changed since then. Iranians are the most youthful and growing population in the world. Within ten years they will outnumber their neighbors the Russians, a once-proud, sclerotic, besotted population destined to be overrun by Iranians united with their Chechen brethren. As China and India have modernized, Iran has only grown richer with oil revenue. They've developed nukes and will soon wipe Israel off the map, unless Israel wipes it off the map first. (The smart money is always on those crafty Israelis.) Defying the oppression of bearded mullahs, Iranian women have started sporting peek-a-boo burqas in bright, provocative hues.

But one thing hasn't changed: the terms of the agreement that brought those hostages home. The one signed in ink by then-despised, now-revered corpse Ronald Reagan. Those terms specified that we would never again meddle in the internal affairs of Iran, as we'd done for decades before the revolution.

Now I hear Condi Rice is openly calling for a $75 program to promote democracy i.e. overthrow the crazed mullahs there! It is one thing for CIA spooks to secretly plot such mayhem, but openly ditching a signed agreement?!

These people seemingly know no bounds in their so-called War on Tear.

comments (6)

Aye, you can count on those Israelis to turn the tide when ya least expect it.

by Clonereject1138 at February 16, 2006 5:47 PM

There'll always be tea and biscuits.

by Ex Crimson Guard NCO at February 16, 2006 8:23 PM

So now that we've reneged on a legally binding agreement does that mean we have to give them their hostages back? Who is going to make us, Jack She-rock and his mighty UN? I don't think so.

by anna at February 17, 2006 7:40 AM

The UN is like the schoolyard nerd, he's getting pretty good at tugging big jock USA's jacket sleeve. "Mithter You Eth Thay! If you thtart a fight the other pupilth with thee that it'th okay, and thoughth crazy Iranian's over there will decide that they can do whatever they want to do too. That'th the whole point of the me, the affable nerd, to make thure no thchoolyard faction doe'th whatever it like'th."

The UK is the twisted dwarf of a character go-between when the UN nerd is too afraid to front up to Jock USA. The school outcast, the retarded kid dribbling into his lunch spying on the pretty girls. The UK will hobble up to jock USA without a care in the world, "Maaaaster, maaaaster... *dribble* I bring tidings from the nerd."

by Ex Crimson Guard NCO at February 17, 2006 10:01 AM

OIL? Um, hello, URANIUM will be the next source... it will rise from the dead, as soon as we launch the nuclear waste into the nether hell of Pluto.... of course, that will bring on SPACE ENvironmentalists that will put GreenPEACE to shame peace....

Anna, get out of the DC area please... come to NYC...

by LOCKHEED at February 17, 2006 7:54 PM

NCO, a brilliant analogy. Lock they were talking about nuke waste in the paper. Turns out the vAst stocks of waste that nobody wants buried in their backyards can be reprocessed to make more fuel. Problem is that when you truck it around you run the risk of hijacking by tearists. Which is why we have Jack Bauer. THERE ISN'T MUCH TIME!!!!!!

by anna at February 18, 2006 9:14 AM

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