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They will never forget you till somebody new comes along

by anna at 08:45 AM on December 09, 2005

It is a huge, vastly unproductive industry. At least a dozen magazines and countless TV shows are devoted to every minute detail of the lives and work of at most 30 people. These people earn their livings reading lines written by other people or singing songs other people wrote. Yes, it's the culture of celebrity. First you get to know them by their first names. Then they shorten them to nicknames. Brit, Jess, Jen. When they couple the names morph into some hideous two-headed beast of myth. The Bennifer. The Brangelina. Bah!

And for all the blather you never know what's true about the chosen few. Just this week it is reported that Jess dumped Nick but also that she is overjoyed that she can now offer him a "baby bump." And you can say you don't care but someone sure does. Who buys all those mags? You do.

Celebs have a short shelf life. Back in the days when she was married to Dennis and/or Randy Quaid, Meg Ryan was all the rage. But then she got depixifed by cramming her greedy fingers down the trousers of Russell Crowe and she was history. I think she's bagging groceries in like, Des Moines.

God knows they never have anything interesting to say. The sole exception being that red carpet encounter with Billy Bob with Angelina all disheveled and ravaged-looking by his side. With a shit-eating grin he divulged that he'd fucked her in the limo on the way over. Aside from that it's all the same ol' we're so in love, we just couldn't reconcile our differences but will remain friends, so respect our privacy, he's a creative genius, so is she, we're naming our kid Smelly Arm so he'll be Smelly Arm Pitt-Jolie, George W Bush is Satan incarnate and blah blah blah.

Ah but this could change. We could humanize our little pet persons. For instance:

Nancy O'Dell: So Brad, you've hooked up with two of the most beautiful women in the world. How would you compare the two?
Brad: Well, Jen had her moments but she was kind of shy about swallowing. She's Greek but won't take it up the ass. And let's face it she can look kind of mannish at times. Angelina's name takes too long to moan during sex. Also, you know that saying, "she thinks her shit don't stink?" Well, trust me, hers does. One night we had tacos and some beers and man, the next morning our master bedroom smelled like Hiroshima after the fire. We had to have everything torn out. Now we have separate bathrooms in separate houses.
Nancy O'Dell: You still smoking weed?
Brad: No, I've moved on to freebasing. You want a hit?
Nancy O'Dell kneels.

Fade to black.

comments (9)

I put on earplugs when the tv goes on and make my fiance wear headphones to watch that shit....

by lockheed at December 9, 2005 2:33 PM

Every ship can be a minesweeper once.

by Clonereject1138 at December 9, 2005 4:58 PM

In the process of shifting capital flows in and out of sectors in
your portfolio to be in accordance to the S&P allocation, you are still
overweight in Tech, predominantly in IBM.
We should sell about 230 shrs of IBM, divide the proceeds into two
Underweight categories that we have been doing research on: Energy and
Our analysts downgraded IBM to Neutral 1 from a Buy 1 based on
'valuation' on approach
to their price target. Although they are intact with hardware sales and
restructuring benefits, there
is some uneasiness from pension and currency fluctuation concerns going
06. And a slowdown in their consulting business with fewer announced
term deals. Basically, the run up in April 05, and those who ran up
with it,
are tired now, and it looks like there is going to be a sizable dip.
I think we should sell a portion of your IBM, and look to move into
stocks with a stronger 06-08 outlook, possibly fill in some more
where you are underweight... I'm analyzing Mylan labs MYL which is
first to file for generic drugs, and in 06-08 there may be plenty of
Not to say that IBM is fundamentally in error, as we can always buy
back in when the price is right again.

I like MYLAN labs: UBS initiated coverage at a Buy2, expecting
robust growth through 2008 in regards to revenue figures, and their EPS
45% and 30% year on year respectively for 07 and 08.
Patent expirations and major generic drug launches in 07-08 of which
Mylan has contracts for: Zoloft, Ambien, Risperdal, Zyrtec, Norvasc
We should get in soon, because Mylan's PE of 24 is slightly higher
than industry already due to the expected growth.

I also want to balance out the Energy allocation. NFG Nat Fuel Gas
declared a stock buyback yesterday of 8 million shrs, thus a full
would represent 10% of the outstanding shares, at current price levels,
company can buy back 3 million by the end of the year.
As for the actual fundamentals of the business, they raised their
Cap-Ex in Exploration and Production by $40million up to $155 from
$115. And
certainly, in the winter season, natural gas outshines crude oil when
comes to specific demand.

Think about it, and give me a call back before the market closes today.

by LOCKHEED at December 9, 2005 6:15 PM


go there now.

enough said.

by LOCKHEED at December 9, 2005 8:04 PM

Call me ECGNCO, or call me Crim, Ex, Crimson, or NCO. Or call me Guard boy, or shit for brains. Stud... muffin.

But call anna God.

by Ex Crimson Guard NCO at December 10, 2005 12:53 AM

If you have earplugs why she need headphones? Seapage? I thought U might dig that NCO. We're kindred spirits across the pond like Bush & Blair.

by anna at December 10, 2005 9:24 AM

All we need now is a tin pot coalition, and perhaps I can find me a wife to swap with yours on visits. :)

Picture it, we'd be emulated the masters: Dubbleyuh and Cherie enjoying a hard sexual rampage in 10 Downing Street's master bedroom, as Tony guides Laura through the intricate process of giving a Premier quality blow job.


by Ex Crimson Guard NCO at December 10, 2005 7:33 PM

*ting*... emulating... sorry, I had a pube in my teeth.

by Ex Crimson Guard NCO at December 10, 2005 7:34 PM

Some imagery, that. Smashing.

by anna at December 11, 2005 8:00 AM

comments are closed