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There's reason to believe maybe this year will be bettter than the last

by anna at 10:20 AM on December 31, 2005

This decade began with a massive worldwide celebration of the New Millennium. Only problem was that it was a year too early. See, time geeks insist that there was no year 0. So 1000 years was up as of 12/31/01. Some of them staged their own goofy celebration featuring fruit punch and charades. Others insist it was like 13 years too late. Seems some years got lost in those early Gregorian calendar years or something.

As of today we're halfway into the decade. The world is in the toilet as the endless War on Tear continues unabated. George W. Bush remains a recluse. I can't remember the last time he gave a nationally televised speech. Maybe it is just as well.

Meanwhile the so-called Greatest Generation is slowly dying off in desolate nursing homes.

But here's the thing: Halfway through, this decade lacks not only a cohesive theme like the dot-com boom went bust of the 90s. The damn thing doesn't even have an agreed-upon name! Let alone a nickname like the Gay 90s (1800s, dude, insert your own joke here) or the Roaring 20s or the Great Depression.

I have yet to hear a person or see a printed word that refers to this faceless, pointless decade.

Aside from the 9/11 debacle, what will it be remembered for? The New England Patriots dynasty?

Happy freakin' New Year, people.

comments (9)

Perhaps the Decade where morals went out the window, or the Slutty Decade, or the Everyones a fuckin whore decade. Mabey the "Dont tell me anything bad, I dont want to hear it" decade. Could be the "I deserve this" decade, or the "What God? *BAM* Please Lord Almighty, save us!!!!" decade.

by Clonereject1138 at December 31, 2005 12:27 PM

Who gives a flying fuck what the masses call it? I've had more tail this decade than at any other time in my life. Granted last decade I was a fledgling man... this decade I'm relatively complete, next I'll probably be sliding past manhood into dirty old manhood...

I aim to misbehave for the next four years... and in the... fucking... uh... next decade... I aim to achieve the status of 'filthy rich'. And when I say filthy... you know what I mean. I'm filthy poor right now... I'll be filthy comfortable on my way up... and oh so disgustingly filthy rich when I get there. Money, sex... and smokes... these things define my life year in and out... I couldn't give a shit what the year is, or which generation I belong to... I have a cock, a wallet, and a packet of smokes. All I need is a place to put the cock, some money for my wallet, and a light for my smokes.

Happy Noo Yar American cousins. ;)

by Ex Crimson Guard NCO at January 1, 2006 3:21 AM

I hope you've practiced safe sex. For all their prissy affectations, Brit chicks can seem pretty skanky. See: Elizabeth Hurley.

by anna at January 2, 2006 9:45 AM

You wouldn't be kicking Hurley out of your bed... heh. Would you?

We're all pretty skanky... we can drive a flash motor, wear designer clothes, sport a nice tan, reek of expensive smelly, have flawless manners... and by the nights closing be lying on our backs sweating profusely as the expensive smelly is washed off by sweat, the designer clothes lay crumpled on the floor, the flash motor has vomit on the back seat, and the flawless manners are washed away by comments like, "Fuck me 'til I'm raw."

I wish I didn't have to worry about safe sex... it takes the fun out of being wild. "Hoo AH! Get ready for the ride of your life! Or to watch me have the ride of mine! Either way... get ready! Just... gimme, a... hold on... just gimme a second here. I had them in this pocket. Ah, here we go. NOW get ready for some lovin'. Just, if you could first fill out this form... and answer the simple questions so I might ascertain whether or not you're carrying a potentially lethal disease, or something that's gonna make me itch or punish my penis in some way by forcing a liquid discharge of the green variety..."

Bah! *shakes fist at world*

by Ex Crimson Guard NCO at January 2, 2006 3:07 PM

Um, don't you remember what this decade was finally coined?
Anna, we joked about it in 15101 c.e.

You really need to stop with the amnesics.

by lockhhed at January 2, 2006 8:58 PM

I've forgotten more than I care to recall.

by anna at January 3, 2006 7:30 AM

Crimson, that's a nice explanation of British people. I'll have to remember it when I watch British films now.

by jean at January 4, 2006 11:11 AM

Well, for one thing decades as a definable thing really start a couple years into the numerical start of the decade. For example, the "60s" are really the period from the Beatles hitting (62) to Nixon's resignation (74), then the 70s lasted from 74 until Michael Jackson's Thriller and MTV in 81-82. The 80s ended when Nirvana hit in 1991/92. So even the calender says "2006" we are, at most 2-3 years into the Oughties.

by mg at January 4, 2006 9:18 PM

I totally agree MG. Eras refuse to conform to artificial ten year increments.

by anna at January 5, 2006 7:57 AM

comments are closed