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never thought i'd see you naked : Princess Diaries Anne Hathaway
by mg at 09:46 AM on December 28, 2005
I’m not living on one of the coasts anymore so forgive me if I may be a little behind on pop-cultural phenomena, but I was reading this article recently about all the hullabaloo about Brokeback Mountain. It was a straight guys guide to the movie, and talked about how watching the gay cowboy movie wont make you one too.
"Phew," I thought.
I’ve liked Jake Gyllenhaal ever since Donnie Darko, Brokeback does look like an interesting movie and I like to have water cooler conversation, but I was a bit leery because it is one of my greatest fears that I might somehow become a, you know, cowboy.
One of the reasons they gave that the movie won’t make you gay is because there are a couple of nude scenes with women! Anne Hathaway, who plays Gyllenhaal's wife, goes topless in the movie during the hetereo love scene that no one is talking about. If Miss Hathaway isn’t in your mental spank bank because you have no idea who she, Anne played the titular role in Princess Diaries.
I bet you are thinking - I never thought I’d see her naked. And to that I’d add a hearty, “Me neither.”
If Lindsay “Oops my nip slipped out again” Lohan has yet to do a (purposeful) nude scene, then this other Disney princess wouldn’t likely make that jump from juvenile to adult entertainment either, right? Luckily, Hathaway must have caught ‘Real Actressitis’ from Halle Berry or Natalie Portman – you know, the disease that makes women say “I’m a serious actress – look, here are my boobs.”
I’ve been looking and looking and haven’t found any of the topless images from Brokeback Mountain yet. Oh sure, I was able to find plenty of images of Heath Ledger’s hairy man ass running around the woods, which just goes to show you that there really is a gay agenda out there. If the gays had their way, it’d be all Will and Grace reruns, show tunes, man ass and not one single tit, much less two. And that is a world I do want to live in.
I wasn’t able to find pictures from Brokeback Mountain, but was able to find numerous examples from the (yet to be released? Straight to video?) movie Havoc, in which Hathaway plays an affluent suburban teenager who gets involved in the L.A. gang cultural, which apparently requires women to be topless most of the time, pleasure themselves on command, and have sex with guys with really bad mustaches.
Hathaway certainly doesn’t have the largest boobs in the world (if I were a different kind of person I might say something like “those min-mountains certainly wont break her back”), but I didn’t think I’d ever see the princess of Genovia’s boobs, and of course they are boobs.
So, to finish my review of Brokeback Mountain, if you are going to break what is supposed to be a complex story about human emotions into being one dimensionally, about gay cowboys, why not make it about a three dimensional one dimensionality – boobs. Go see Brokeback Mountain, whether your there for the queens or for the princess, there is something for every body.
comments (23)
I can't believe Anne Hathaway is showing her breasts everywhere. I saw the Princess Diaries. With my kid sister!
On the other hand she may have been the first one to refer to this movie as Bareback Mountain, and I can't get it out of my mind. I don't know what's going to happen the day I try to say "Brokeback" and "Bareback" comes out instead. It will be so embarrassing.
I know this is a typo, but: "If the gays had their way, it’d be all Will and Grace reruns, show tunes, man ass and not one single tit, much less two. And that is a world I do want to live in." That might be refreshing for a while.
by jean at December 28, 2005 3:42 PM
I don't think there was gays back then. My mom thought Liberace was merely flamboyant.
by anna at December 29, 2005 9:52 AM
Wasn't being gay developed by the Russians during the cold war? No one was gay before then right?
And I can't wait for the porno of Bareback mountain to come out.
by Long Time Lurker at December 29, 2005 10:40 AM
I like the still capture of Heath Ledger's Profile with the fireworks in the background(in the fireworks scene).
by lOKHEED at December 29, 2005 1:47 PM
The gay cowboy has "hetero" sex? Doesn't that make him a "bi" cowboy?
by MrBlank at December 30, 2005 3:01 AM
Maybe he didn't know yet. Maybe he was....evolving?
by anna at December 30, 2005 9:43 AM
Hey MG why can't I see the comments on my last post? I've been trying for 2 days on 2 different computers including my son's new 146gb powerhouse.
by anna at December 30, 2005 9:45 AM
yeah. I commented on that too.
You are being banished anna..
So I've been with BadSam since 2001, that's 5 years, and MG still won't allow me to become an author.
by LOCKHEED at December 30, 2005 11:04 AM
Announcing the Get Lockheed his authorship on BadSam for the new year campaign!!!
Be the first on your block to have the "Lockheed & BadSam it's what's for dinner" Bumper Sticker!
T-shirts and sweatshirt to come!
Lockheed for President!
by Long Time Lurker at December 30, 2005 1:36 PM
And thank God for Serious Actresses showing their boobies.
I likes 'em alot.
by Long Time Lurker at December 30, 2005 1:39 PM
I read an article about something called Bad Hair Movies as a statement of Serious Actresshood Arrival. They cited Meg Ryan in Kate and Leopold and Catherine Zeta-Jones in something or other.
Neither has ever shown their boobs though.
by anna at December 31, 2005 10:05 AM
I do not want to see Meg Ryan's breasts.
by jean at January 2, 2006 11:57 AM
That makes for a good question. Guys, whose penis would you least want to see and most want to see?
by jean at January 2, 2006 11:58 AM
I've seen Harvey Keitel's penis in enough movies to say that I never want to see it again.
by mg at January 3, 2006 8:18 AM
seen photos fo the anne hathaway scene, also actually seen a vid. eh its ok.
by paul at January 7, 2006 10:11 AM
Disillusioning, seeing her. Very strange.
Anyways, we should hunt down and burn the heretics that made that foul pice of apostasy! Kill the xenos! Burn the Heretic! Purge the Unclean! Eradicate the abominations!!!!!
by Clonereject1138 at January 22, 2006 7:19 PM
I saw the movie last night with my wife... cried my eyes out for when Ennis found out that Jack was dead...
by Will at January 30, 2006 3:53 AM
heya ... i just think its realli sick the fuckin fact u eat poo and you go on bout it... someone cussed niggers on here who the fuck do uthink you are u fuckin shit eater!! do you no what if u wanna eat some shit come to me and lick mi ars out clen bitch! u lot are dickheds i meen who the fuck would eat POO!! eating ya own shit shows hoe fucking immature your are u fucking wankers go such your mums poo!
by chloe flynn at January 30, 2006 4:45 AM
heya ... i just think its realli sick the fuckin fact u eat poo and you go on bout it... someone cussed niggers on here who the fuck do uthink you are u fuckin shit eater!! do you no what if u wanna eat some shit come to me and lick mi ars out clen bitch! u lot are dickheds i meen who the fuck would eat POO!! eating ya own shit shows hoe fucking immature your are u fucking wankers go such your mums poo!
by chloe flynn at January 30, 2006 4:45 AM
Um, chloeflynn, grow a brain. Seriously.
by notchloeflynn at February 7, 2006 2:01 PM
While I'm at it, I thought I might give you a little spelling lesson. Just add these words to your vocabulary book and be sure to show them to your English teacher, won't you? Here are the words:
Really
Fucking
About
You
Know
My
Ass
Clean
Dickheads
Mean
Your
How
Suck
I won't even start on your grammar. Loser.
by notchloeflynn at February 7, 2006 2:08 PM
dnt worry chloe flynn cant get her shit 2gether cuz she got a junkey's fat DICK n her mouf. Slut!
by missmimi at February 20, 2006 5:24 PM
I teach my kids that being gay is a choice and a ick perversion and that gay men are abnormal and to stay away form them. They are 13 and 16 and already are set in their ways of disliking homo sexual faggots.
Being homo sexual is not only disgusting and involves fecal waste on your penis, its also a perversion that helps spread many nasty diseases that before anal cavity sex, were never inventer.
by the_miker at September 26, 2007 3:48 PM