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Another year, another beer

by anna at 10:06 AM on December 26, 2005

Here it is the day after Christmas. Since the big day fell on a Sunday, today is kind of like an unoffical holiday. Nobody has to work. We're all waking up and realizing that we have new things in our possession.

Myself I have a new insulated leather jacket with a zipper that works. This is exciting because I don't like to wear the down parka that makes me look like the Michelin Man. I am stylin' in my black leather. I'm also pleased with my new firewood carrier/storage thing and my new hearth rug. It'll protect my carpet from embers and wood debris as we shiver away through the winter from hell.

But things didn't go as well on the giving end of it. I got my wife a new down jacket, that doesn't make her look like the Michelin Woman. It has a hood lined in PC fake fur. I thought it was a nice touch but she disagrees. Do I have the receipt? Of course not. As an arrogant man, I was certain she'd love it.

Not to worry. I had the backup gift. It's a Krupp espresso/cappuccino/coffee maker. Which would be just fine if I could figure out how to work the damn thing. It has an instruction manual the size of War and Peace. You could dust it for prints and find none. I presume it is in every language except the one I happen to speak.

It gets worse. There are dire warnings on it about the fact that it has a pressure cooker or boiler type of thing that could explode and cause grievous injury. So not only am I spending my quasi-holiday morn sans espresso or cappuccino, I may die soon as I peer at the inscrutable machine building up steam to the point where a nculear explosion is likely in my kitchen.

Hark! George W Bush, those elusive WMDs are over here. Come on over and we'll have a cup of coffee made from my old, stained, filter-requiring Mr. Coffee machine. And merry Christmas you old fart.

Not "happy holidays."

comments (3)

Espresso makers are easier to use than they look. Try not to worry.

You will almost certainly be able to exchange the jacket for a store credit where you bought it, as long as it's new. You probably won't need the receipt. If they don't do it this week because they're frazzled and busy, try waiting until it's March and they need the sales.

Congratulations on the new leather jacket though! My new parka does make me look like a Michelin Person. It's too bad I didn't have the hundred or so extra dollars you need to buy one that doesn't. :(

This Christmas I learned a new board game and three new card games within 48 hours. But all I want to do is work on my thesis proposal.

by jean at December 27, 2005 4:47 PM

....OH THE Burgeoning of Plastic Debt this XMAS...

What did I give to my grey twin:

...a Blue Dress...
...High-heel shoes and an alligator hat...
...Chanel No 5...

by LOCKHEED at December 27, 2005 7:52 PM

It was single digit temps and snowfall for what seemed like a full month, and then Christmas comes along and its 40 and sunny. Stupid Chicago.

This year we got presents for each other, parents, siblings and kids, but both of our extended families talked and decided not to do presents this year. Weird, I know, but who am to complain about saving money? Unfortunately, we were the only ones to actually follow the rules and showed up at Christmas the only ones without presents for everyone else. Stupid family.

by mg at December 27, 2005 10:59 PM

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