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I have finally found a place to live, in the color of the Lords

by anna at 06:40 PM on February 03, 2005

Showtime movies are so lame I tend to watch ten of them at a time. I can follow the plots, though I do get confused about the characters. The other day I was doing this and I ran across something called Intent to Kill. It starred this chick.

The movie came out in 1992, long after her teen porn debacle. She's showing less skin that an Afghan woman under Taliban rule. This, I suppose, was her foray into legitimate acting. The transition didn't go well. She emotes with all the animation of a mannequin. Sure, she's still got that trademark bee sting pout but it just isn't working here.

I'm old enough to recall the furor over this girl. She broke into porn when she was all of 15 and according to the website shot 100 flicks. Presumably she did it all with men from 25-35. Then she got found out and bible-thumpers sounded the alarm. Of course these guys hail from locales where teen girls are often punished by being deprived of dad's woodshed lovin' for a weekend. Never mind that. Sensing that the tapes might soon be collector's items, guys with daughters her age snapped them up in bulk.

More recently Meryl Streep shot a scene in which she smooched in a bathtub with a ten year old boy. But she is An Artiste, so it's okay. She's not a filthy pedophile like those dudes who boo-fooed Lords silly. She doesn't get a gig, she Gives an Oscar-Worthy Performance. Still, where were the bible-thumpers on this one?

It's such a murky gray area when you start talking about young teens. Mary Kay LeTourneau and her strapping lad who's now old enough to assert parental visitation rights. R. Kelly's young but nubile and all too willing lasses caught on tape. (When are people going to realize that no good ever comes from taping sexual encounters?) An 8th grader seeking to curry favor with a high school boy gives him a sloppy monica. Where do you draw the line? And I don't mean that phony outrage expressed about the LeTourneau case. Secretly almost everyone was going, you go boy. You nailed your 6th grade teacher, for crying out loud, the universal fantasy. No harm, no foul.

When I was in 9th grade my history teacher used to plop her mini-skirted ass on my desk and hold forth about Napolean or something with her nylon-clad legs crossed. I had no idea what the implication of that was. I guess kids grow up quicker these days.

comments (23)

And before long we'll be hearing the details of how "platonic" romance blossomed between 44 year old Jacko and a 13 year old cancer victim. Ick. Isn't he a little old for the singer? Sorry.

by Anna at February 3, 2005 6:54 PM

You are thinking of Nicole Kidman, not Meryl Streep. If you can't see the difference, there is something wrong with you.

with Kidman and the boy in question they were both acting in a movie. In Traci Lords' case she was actually getting nailed by these guys. Again I say, if you can't see the difference, there is something wrong with you.

by mg at February 3, 2005 8:40 PM

Well yeah, that is a pretty major difference. My bad. I haven't seen the scene in question, just read a passing mention of it. Maybe it was necessary to the plot but kissing and being naked in the tub can't be faked. And you could argue that Lords and those dudes were "acting" too. Some people say Jenna Jamison is a fine actress.

by Anna at February 4, 2005 7:15 AM

Oh, I don't know, I'd imagine a cum shot would be a good place to draw the line between acting and sex.

by mg at February 4, 2005 7:32 AM

My friend in high school starred in a movie 'Black Mask II' he was the 'new' Black Mask after jet lie, anyways, he kills Traci Lords(who acts as a mutant). Safe to say, he's yet to be in another movie.

by LOCKHEED at February 4, 2005 10:33 AM

Acting or not that's a memory worth holding on to, and he can tell the story to a whole class of broken people recovering from drugs and alcohol addiction when he grows out of child roles and canít get work as an adult. "Well... It started when I was ten... I was in the bath with a naked Nicole Kidman and surrounded by cameras and strange bearded men pointing microphones and lights at me."

Apparently that thing was okay because the character Nicole was playing believed that the child was her dead husband returned to her, or something. Tom Cruise is gay right?

They've been talking of lowering the age of consent here to thirteen for quite some time... But then, they've also been talking about lowering the grotesque stats for illegal immigrants, for quite some time...

by Ex Crimson Guard NCO at February 4, 2005 11:25 AM

When it comes down to it I'm sure Traci Lords, with her now millions and millions of dollars, will let us debate ethics all day long while she only makes trips to the bank.

by dominathan at February 4, 2005 1:40 PM

I don't think she's got a fortune---hence the legit acting career. Back then porn was still kind of sleazy and they didn't pay the gals much. Linda Lovelace got, like a punch in the face for Deep Throat. But once she was of age, why not go back into what worked for her?

Lock your friend needs to carve a big L on his forehead: "I acted in a movie with Traci Lords and I got to kill her."

As for the line between acting and porn, I kind of question whether they are really doing anything other than dry humping in the soft core stuff. I mean, if you didn't have to, would you? With someone you just met?

by anna at February 4, 2005 6:30 PM

I did a little internet research... turns out she is not doing bad, but you are right. she isnt worth the money I thought. I'm not sure where i got that cockamamy idea in my head.

by dominathan at February 4, 2005 10:33 PM

The actor Richard E. Grant said in an interview once that he just goes for it regardless of the movie's over all rating. He even did the, "Phooar!" Clenched fists at either side of his waist doing a reverse motion to the thrusting of his hips, thing. The interviewer then went on to list celebs with whom Grant had had sex scenes to ascertain which he'd fucked, and he winked, coughed, and grinned like a Cheshire cat as the names went on and on... Each quirky facial tweak was a nod of: "Damn right I did!"

Damn right I would too...

by Ex Crimson Guard NCO at February 4, 2005 10:35 PM

That is too funny. Let's not forget that these are just folks who socialize with one another at parties, awards shows and benefits. I've got to think it's a bit uncomfortable to be at a table enjoying lamb chops and a fine Merlot with someone who not two weeks before gave you a facial. Maybe they can laugh about it, maybe not.

by Anna at February 5, 2005 8:01 AM

The porno awards were recently held in early January. Im not sure if Chingy and his crew knew what they were egtting into when they agreed to perform... but it gave me a godo laugh. Bringing a new style to the "bling bling" lifestyle.


by dominathan at February 5, 2005 10:19 AM

I'm do afraid to follow that link. What is it?

by Anna at February 6, 2005 8:28 AM

I don't think a cumshot makes the difference between acting and not acting. It seems hardly different than actors who can cry on demand. Conjure up some kind of mental activity that results in excretion of fluids from a gland. Crying and cumming both fit. I think sex actors are actually acting, so it's no big deal to sit across from each other enjoying lamb chops when the previous week they may have been sitting on each other enjoying camel toe. I thought Traci did a pretty good job when she was on Melrose Place.

I have no doubt that bible thumpers somewhere are reacting to Kidman and the 10 year old, but my guess is no one cares.

by chris at February 7, 2005 3:09 AM

Its fine... it is just a short article written about it with a picture.

by dominathan at February 7, 2005 10:08 AM

Damn Chris I never thought about it that way. It's like if you work out real hard you start to sweat. But some people don't. Some of my soccerb teammates are an example. I'm drenched after a 90 minute match. In sweat, not cum.

by Anna at February 7, 2005 6:49 PM

Okay maybe it isn't the cumshot that makes the difference between sex and acting. it would have to be the penetration then. Acting doesn't involve penetration, and you will never convince me otherwise. Also, acting doesn't involve an actor making 300 movies in one year.

by mg at February 8, 2005 5:53 PM

No they make 2 tops and then complain about their grueling schedule and the on-set rigors. They make me ill.

by anna at February 8, 2005 6:19 PM

I'm not sure what the actual numbers are, I doubt they approach 300, but baleighwood actors do far more movies than we are accustomed to. And millions of people still consider them reputable actors (myself not included.)

by dominathan at February 9, 2005 3:45 PM

Real porn is like the Indie 500... You seen that? Try and watch it without throwing up! They hose down the porn star after the fiftieth guy, each man gets one minute... Talk about sloppy seconds, imagine being guy #500. Bleeargh!

Seeing a real actor do that... Not happening. Actors and politicians... What is with their paychecks? The mind boggles.

by Ex Crimson Guard NCO at February 9, 2005 4:11 PM

I'd have to agree that when they start letting random guys off the street in for like the Houston 500, it's bit much.

by Anna at February 9, 2005 6:17 PM

I wanna see the randoms from the streets running for office. Now there is a reality television show I'd watch.

by dominathan at February 9, 2005 8:03 PM

i need 12 to 15 years girls pictuers, fully nude

by Hithesha at February 3, 2006 9:44 PM

comments are closed