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Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose

by anna at 06:48 PM on May 26, 2004

You'll find no porn on my browser cache. There's no copy of Hustler under my bed. And you won't catch me hanging around strip clubs, stuffing my hard-earned pay into garter belts.

See, my wife is opposed to these sorts of things. Early on she informed me that she considers it disrespectful to her. And I respect her wishes.

Besides, I never quite got the strip club thing. The idea is for the customers to get all horny and then...what?

Now I know some gals approve of their guys frequenting these places. They justify this by saying that he's only looking, but is he? Or they figure he'll get all worked up and then give her a great time when he comes home. But is he thinking about her or some sleazy stripper who gave him a lap-dance?

I'm curious how y'all feel about your SOs engaging in these types of activities. not how you think you should feel, how you do feel.

So I get this new claim. Under occupation, the word stripper is crossed out in favor of "exotic dancer." Ah but she's a stripper and she seeks $2 million in damages because she wanted to go home early one night. Her kid's babysitter had called and said the kid was deathly ill. Her manager was having none of that. Evidently she is the headliner and hugely popular. He calls her a stupid whore, shoves her up against the wall and then throws her out the back door like so much garbage. All this in front of the other dancers.

According to the employer she wasn't hurt all that bad. In fact, she soon was doing her full repertoire of gyrations at a club nearby and earning big-time tips.

Now my company frowns on adjustors hiring detectives to do things we could do ourselves. At the same time I know that we need to verify that she's dancing at the other club first-hand. This is what's known in insurance jargon as "mitigating the loss."

Therein lies the dilemma. When this claim is reviewed by my boss, as it surely will be due to the amount of money involved, he will want to know why I didn't go downtown and observe the claimant doing her pre-injury occupation. Were I to do that, I'd be violating my wife's trust and I am not about to do that. You might say, why not just go on the sly. Nobody's the wiser and it was strictly business anyway, right---like those vice cops who accept head from massage parlor prostitutes. Well, there's no on the sly with our relationship. Somehow she would know as surely as she did when I,... oh, never mind.

What to do, what to do?

comments (13)

Tell her it's for work and then take her with you.

by snaggle at May 26, 2004 9:59 PM

Now that's an idea. But I'm not sure I want her in that environment either.

Another quirky thing about strip clubs I think about: The presence of dollar-stuffing gay men at clubs featuring dancing dudes and vice versa with lesbians lining those garter belts. That certainly must add an interesting dynamic to the situation.

by anna at May 27, 2004 7:50 AM

Anna, stick to your guns. It is disrespectful to your wife to go to a strip club. If your boss is so worried about it then suggest that he go. I would. Hell, you might even be doing him a favor.

On another note, along the same lines, I'm not going to have the obligatory bachelor's party before I marry Amy. I don't believe it would be a very respectful thing to do. Why would I want to be out in a strip club having lap dances when the woman I love is at home? If I'm getting any lap dances it'll damed sure be from Amy. She's my favorite stripper.

by Ezy at May 27, 2004 9:13 AM

I've only ever tipped a go-go boy once and that was because my boyfriend at the time told me to. (We both thought he was hot.) The interesting thing is that gay bars & clubs often have go-go boys or brief-wearing shot-sellers, so ogling boys is just part of going out.

Now don't you wish straight bars did that! ;)

by snaggle at May 27, 2004 10:29 AM

I've never been to a strip club and I agree with you, I don't see the point. Girls shake their asses (and other bits) in your face, and you can't touch them. I get that enough just walking around NYC (which I might add, has been warm enough recently for the low cut jeans/thongs, and tanks tops to come out. Yeah!)

by mg at May 27, 2004 1:52 PM

Back when I dated boys, I went to a strip club with my then-boyfriend. It was interesting enough, and I'm glad that I went, even though I was the only female in the place besides the dancers. I remember being surprised that the girls could dance so well (when they weren't doing that annoying hump-the-floor move). I don't really feel the need to go running back any time soon, though.

Anna, I agree with Ezy--- send your boss to do your dirty work!

by Leaffin at May 27, 2004 2:18 PM

The last time I went to a strip club was a bachelor's party for one of my friends. It just made me sad. Well, it was in West Virginia. The dancers probably made a complete set of teeth if you counted them collectively. Scary shit man.

It just bums me out watching the poor sad souls sitting there giving away their welfare checks to someone they'll never have a chance with. Sad, sad. I just assume they have nothing better going for them which is even more depressing.

by Ezy at May 27, 2004 2:51 PM

whatever you do, just remember its not worth a guilty conscience. Personally, I wouldn't subject yourself to that. Its not a good profession, nor is it good to feed your mind with things like that. You could hang out outside and watch her go in and out if you had to(?) Nevertheless that is like playing with fire. Take a stand and be a real man of honor and integrity. Tell your boss its porn- bottom line. Love yourself, your wife and your marriage and find out how to do this right so that everyone is happy.

by Mike at May 27, 2004 3:20 PM

Well, thanks for the input all. Especially Mike, good point. Are you new here and if so please stick around.

Also, along the stripper lines, I saw or read something about how it's now oh so chic to install a stripper's pole in your house. I guess the MBR would be the logical place. I'm kidding my wife saying that we need one in the new spread. She leads me down in the sub-basement and shows me that there's already a ready-made pole. I'm like, so are you gonna dance for me down here. She's like, no you're gonna dance for me sucker. I guess you had to be there.

And no I ain't going to no damn strip club or anywhere else dowtown. But we are going to the jousting dinner theater. Should be post material.

by anna at May 27, 2004 6:53 PM

Anna, let Amy and I know and we'll go with. Seriously.

by Ezy at May 27, 2004 7:50 PM

Dang Anna! You got schooled! Please shake your wife's hand for me. :)

by jean at May 27, 2004 11:57 PM

Yeah I did. I'm thinking of going with a fireman motif. That's a great idea Ezy but this time it is what Ian chose for his b-day outing. But once I've scoped it out it's a go. (Ann Arundel County, ugh.)

by anna at May 28, 2004 7:54 AM

i stumbled across this journal. i AM a stripper and i don't give a shit about your opinion of us or not. fact remains, you had a 'job' to do... just like us. if you feel guilty about undertaking an investigation because you disapprove of the trade, made a promise to your wife, are plain unprofessional or if you did go, you'd feel GUILTY because you know you'd probably get turned on. face the fact, don't look for poor excuses.

unless you have been a dancer yourself, please don't assume what you think you know about clubs and why women do what they do. get off the moral high horse. i've experienced and injury at work (just like anyone else could) and it rendered me in a bad situation. if more people DID their job in protecting people than pointing the finger, the world would be alot fairer.

i'm not hard done by, i just hate reading bigotted comments from ignorant people.

by erotica at March 29, 2006 6:07 AM

comments are closed