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And I sit at home looking out the window imagining the world has stopped

by anna at 07:54 PM on May 05, 2004

Both my stepdaughters gave birth to sons recently. There is Ethan and Little John. Even though one was induced both were protracted, grueling ordeals. I suppose the babies were comfortable in their cozy little placenta worlds. They much preferred to go with the known than deal with this cruel and unforgiving world.

Likewise, my wife has been letting our dog Daze E out into the new yard, which lacks a fence. The yard backs to a forest teeming with wildlife. In short, a dog's dreamworld. So does Daze E run off to chase deer and squirrels? Hell no. She does her business and barks to be let back in. Politely, of course, as would befit a dog trainer's dog. And I think a lot of us are more like that than we'd care admit. We'd rather stick with the familiar than deal with the daunting unknown.

No relationship is perfect. Mine is no exception. We have our ups and downs. Right now we're in an up as Nan says this house is growing on her. The decorating is fun if a bit drawn-out. A couple posts ago I wrote about a down that followed the kiss from the drunken squaw. Another came when I gave her purloined flowers for Mother's Day. I won't make that mistake again come this Sunday.

Yet, at 45, I can't imagine what my life would be like were she to move on. Being single has never been my cup of tea. Couplehood suits me. I crave companionship and luckily I found an ideal mate.

Now don't get me wrong---I also treasure my solitude. Some of my most enjoyable moments are spent luxuriating in the tub with a wet crossword and lukewarm coffee. But that is only because deep down I know I am not Tom Hanks in Cast Away. I am not alone.

If for whatever reason I did find myself single after 15 joyous years of marriage, I wouldn't know where to turn. See, I've always been part of a couple. That is why I couldn't fathom prowling meat markets in search of a new mate. Where do you go? What clever things do you think up to say? How do you cope with the inevitable awkwardness and rejection?

And what if the person you meet and take a fancy to turns out to be one of those creeps who shares intimate details about themselves with total strangers? How do you deal with that? Or what if they have a jealous ex that stalks them and then hauls off and sucker-punches you in a bar as happened to me once? What then?

comments (6)

Why is someone who shares intimate details about themselves with strangers a creep?

by Jen at May 6, 2004 7:04 AM

It's creepy if you don't want to hear it. Not to mention annoying. Not first date material.

by MrBlank at May 6, 2004 9:17 AM

I suppose the irony is that with this post and a few others of mine, I've done just that. So I guess I'm a creep too. At least sometimes I give myself the creeps.

by anna at May 6, 2004 6:12 PM

I think that the uncertainty of dating is the best part of being single. Yes, rejection sucks...very, very, badly...but the few times that you actually click with someone, is oh so very exciting. I am more of a relationship person, i like comfort and security however i dont mind the single life because of the suprises, just like a box of chocolates...

by Katie at May 7, 2004 3:37 PM

God, I hated being single. It was fun for a while, in my 20s, but it wears thin. I like substance. I think there is no better feeling than being with someone you can share all of your fears, goals, accomplishments with and it really matters to them. After being with Amy for more than a year, I have no idea of what I would do without her or did before her. It's nice to be able to share that kind of intimacy with someone.

by Ezy at May 7, 2004 3:54 PM

In my opinion, when it is possible, that is the natural state for people. It's when it isn't possible, as it may not be for me in the near future if I don't find those lost clothes, that things get dicey.

by anna at May 7, 2004 9:42 PM

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