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Don't Trust a Muslim in Heels Either

by anna at 07:53 PM on March 03, 2004

Today's burning question comes from....... well, it comes from me cause it's my turn at the mic. Suppose O. b. Laden and his o-so-pious cohorts in Big Terror somehow prevail. Every infidel American is either slaughtered or forcibly converted to their insane, Taliban-style strain of Islam. Catholics, Protestants, Jews, atheists, agnostics, satanists, Druids, Rastafarians and sun worshipers alike kneel down and pray to Allah five times a day.

Further suppose that feminism remains a force to be reckoned with. At his undisclosed location, newly enshrined VP Doc Zawahiri secretly brokers a deal with NOW. They agree to the new rules but everything must be applied equally. Wahhibi Islam's subjugation of women won't fly here.

Men and women alike are encouraged to take up to 3 spouses. Everyone must wear a nondescript shroud from head to toe, even in scorching summer heat. Likewise, philandering persons are buried up to their necks and stoned to death. (Unlike under Taliban rule, where unwed mother and straying housewife were unfairly singled out for the procedure.)

Booze, swimwear, swimwear editions, gambling, pork chops, belly-dancers, music, non-Disney movies, the internet and TV are off-limits to everyone except select gevernment elites, who enjoy access to all that and more, just as it was in Taliban Afghanistan. The only vices the masses are permitted are hash and opium. Obviously no one may leave their home unless accompanied by a family member of the opposite sex.

Would you expect men or women to adapt more readily to the harsh new regimen? Or would we all rail against the religious oppression with equally hateful venom? That is what has happened in youthful-skewing Iran. There women have taken to skirting restrictive clothing restrictions by donning colorful scarves and tightening the fit of their burquas to showcase their figures. They allow tufts of their hair to stray from beneath the protective scarves. Young men too have risked life and limb to protest the decrepit policeis of the old prudes who currently run their country.

But maybe it would be better to either wait out the stupid mullahs' imminent deaths or better yet, hasten them. As for the Iranian women, they should seduce the old farts and fuck 'em to death. Then the Iranian people could rejoin the modern world and live in peace.

Any attempt to impose your hairbrained beliefs on people who disagree is doomed to failure. And that's a good thing.

comments (8)

Any attempt to impose your hairbrained beliefs on people who disagree is doomed to failure. And that's a good thing.

Something "sanctity of marriage" Dubya needs to learn!

by Charles at March 9, 2004 4:23 PM

Couldn't agree more. Why can't folks just mind their own goddamn business? And thanx for the comment Charles, this post was pathetically lonely.

by anna at March 10, 2004 7:56 AM

Kind of tough to Hajj in high heels I would think.

by Ezy at March 10, 2004 12:51 PM

Inshallah, Islam will spread... evrywhere.

by Abu Umer at April 18, 2004 6:39 AM

Islam has spread every where and Muslims will rule this world. All western women will learn to wear modest viels and head scarfs from the Iranian women. The Mullahs will decide the fate of your modern society which has become cancer for the human life on earth. Inshallah Islam will prevail. Come out of your civilisation and see what islam is.Inshallah you will be a true muslim Anna.

by Malik at August 22, 2004 11:17 AM

inshallah means 'god willing', right? soon you will see that it is not god's will to spread this religion everywhere...doesn't it teach you in islam to respect the religions of the book?? you know- posts like these ones you crazy muslims are putting up make all of us think it's an extreme religion with brainwashed followers...so if you really want people to learn about your religion and consider it as their own, you're gonna have to be a little bit smarter about how you present it...

by shane at March 20, 2005 12:47 AM

muslims are the children of the devil.

by oli at January 6, 2006 9:39 AM

Just google "islam is a peacful religion" and you will see what these Godless bastards are really about. We should just drop a couple of nukes on those Satan worshipping pieces of shit and be done with them. Oh, and while we're at it we should throw all of those traitor journalists in with them. If it wasn't for the commie media we could have had those Muslim pigs under control by now.

by Spanky at June 21, 2006 8:10 AM

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