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jen x

boys are stupid, throw rocks at them

by jen x at 03:42 PM on March 02, 2004

So, Jen's life in the mid-sized city continues.

When I last left you all, where were things? Okay, so the non-relationship boy and I had had some bad sex, and I'd met a boy at the bar who will henceforth be known as popcorn boy.

Well, the Monday after Valentine's Day, popcorn boy and I went out skating and had some hot chocolate afterwards. We chatted the whole time, had a nice night, and he walked me to my door and kissed me.

Oooh...

Naw, just a peck.

We made plans for Wednesday, rescheduled to Friday, and sometime in the week I came down with a lovely cold. Oh joy, oh bliss.

My ex- arrived in town on Friday, and popcorn boy and I rented a movie and watched it at my place the same night. Did I mention my ex- called while we were out renting the movie? I think that perhaps wigged the boy a little, but why would it? Ah well.

Anyhow, we watched the movie and there was next to no conversation between us -- we're watching a movie, of course. I was feeling pretty zonky, his stomach was making weird noises (and he made a trip to the washroom -- isn't that one of the worst things that happens on dates?), and the movie was kinda slow in parts. When he left he hugged me and said he'd call.

One round of phone tag, one in-person meeting (when he said he'd call and hasn't), and I'm counting this one as also dead and buried.

Oh yeah, have I mentioned it's been nearly what, 3 weeks? And I haven't heard from fuck friends boy. Just a note; frankly, I can't say I'm too broken up about it.

Anyhow, Saturday night the ex- and I got together and had the sex. This repeated a few times across the week, and it was pretty good. I think I wigged him by almost totally brushing him off after getting him off Saturday night, but whatever, I can turn that knife if I'd like (my relationships with my exes are always complicated, especially this one where the monkey sex keeps happening).

The secret though, is that during the week I was talking to one of my (sorta) former co-workers through Lavalife, and he came and got me and we monkied at his place. Once again, it was okay... he got off by hand, I didn't, sweat was produced, curiousity was sated, and that was that.

I really don't do very well with the casual sex. It's just so unsatisfying, unless you're the guy. :P

So since then, keep talking to the boys in Lavalife and see what happens, right? Well, one or two who seem maybe in-person meetable, and one right now who's acting kinda weird. I don't know if it's because he told me more than he wanted to, or because I said I was an uggo and he's pet peevish about that, or just plain job stress on his part, but we'll see. Perhaps there will be coffee tomorrow, as tentatively planned? Here's hoping; he's smart and funny. Too bad he might be moving across the country for a job very soon, but such is my luck with boys.

Lesbianism is still a viable option, right? Or maybe I really should just sleep with my married (and very open) friend. :P

comments (19)

hey wait a minute...I EAT POPCORN!

oh and could you be so kind as to explain what an uggo is?

also...way to go! you saw more cum last week than a 16 year old boy.

by lajo at March 2, 2004 6:34 PM


Your hand reference reminds me of college. This hick we met was bragging about how his gal pal back home gave him "all the hand-jobs he could handle." Roger and I had never even heard of such a thing. I guess around here the only hand-jobs you get are from your own.

by anna at March 2, 2004 8:18 PM


Well, I wouldn't go quite *that* far... The ex- and I didn't monkey as much as we used to in the summer. :)

by Jen at March 3, 2004 12:29 PM


Well, if you said you "monkied" inquiring minds want to know - did you fling your poo at each other or not?

by mg at March 3, 2004 1:24 PM


Isn't that kind of a personal question?

by Jen at March 3, 2004 3:36 PM


fecal friends or not...wtf is an uggo?

by lajo at March 3, 2004 5:15 PM


Uggo as in the green elf or the incredibly ugly person?

by chuckwoolery at March 3, 2004 7:08 PM


MG, as usual, your killing me. But speaking of poo, I took a dump in a restroom at work today. There was this lonely chunk of turd, not a whole turd floating there. I felt weird mixing mine with it. Is this unusual?

by anna at March 3, 2004 7:17 PM


Okay, another thing I don't get about guys -- why do all conversations seem to eventually turn to poo? Why, oh why?

Anyhow, an uggo, in this context, is someone who's ugly. Also known as someone who is oogly -- so ugly they're oogly -- or someone who puts the ug in ugly. Typically used to describe Jerry Springer guests, members of the Rolling Stones, and Paris Hilton. At least in my world.

by Jen at March 4, 2004 12:41 PM


In my college dorm, conversations always used to turn to bodily functions. Maybe the good ol' days aren't gone yet!

Anna, somehow, that does feel too close for comfort. I always flush first if the bowl isn't "clear". That reminds me of one place where my company shared the floor with only one other tenant: Microsoft. It was their "business development" (i.e., sales) department. Every morning without fail, one of *them* left skid marks in the far right stall of the women's bathroom. We even sighted her once or twice. I wonder exactly what kind of trouble she was up to. Skid marks can take a million flushes to clear.

by jean at March 4, 2004 4:29 PM


I prefer the term fugly.

by MrBlank at March 4, 2004 5:52 PM


Let me just say that I love your title for this post. It's original.

by anna at March 5, 2004 6:35 PM


I can't tell if that was sarcastic or not, so I'll just say it's also one of my shirts. :)

by Jen at March 5, 2004 11:30 PM


No sarcasm. Sarcasm is so 90s, like cynicism. I just liked the title is all. :\

by anna at March 6, 2004 8:37 AM


i don't understand. It's a little weird reading about someone's personal life that you don't even know, but like what are you looking for? if your not comfortable with casual, but yet when "popcorn boy" turns a little jelous, showing some emotional attachment how come your the one not calling him?

by Josie at March 9, 2005 6:23 PM


ooo i neva visited this site b4.. but this is funny...

interesting story :P grrrrr 2 men

btw fugly or fug is the thing we have at college in uk ( seems like u guys r american lol)

by LIZZY at April 3, 2005 4:34 PM


Not this one - I'm all-Canadian. :)

by Jen at April 3, 2005 5:38 PM


You can't say fugly... It can't still be happening. You've gotta be a chavette... Or something? Fingers full of sovereigns and maybe a baseball cap pulled down low hiding your features. Huge earrings, many a necklace and one o' those freaky ass fringes the chav gals sport.

I'm in the UK, and me and mine, and all those around, don't use fugly anymore, when I say anymore, I mean... This is a reminder to the days we used 'sound', when something was good. Ach, long, long time ago. Pitiful times, those.

by Ex Crimson Guard NCO at April 3, 2005 7:15 PM


Unless you're from Cornwall, maybe? That would explain it. Or the Midlands? Hmm?

Do you hang around on car parks with Roy Bacers?

by Ex Crimson Guard NCO at April 3, 2005 7:18 PM



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