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jen x

the few, the proud, the horny

by jen x at 12:15 PM on February 16, 2004

Well, Linz's been giving me a hard time about not updating the world of badsam on the status of my boy stuff, so here we go. 'Cause I know you've all been on tenterhooks just dying to find out.

Not enough posts use the term tenterhooks nowadays. I feel so proud for having done so.


Oh yeah, I do well with no sleep.

Okay, so more updating needed than I realized. One night a conversation was had between us, and the boy stated that he wasn't looking for a serious girlfriend, that he thought I was, that we were wanting different things and that was that. I left that evening thinking, "Well, at least he was honest with me," and thought nothing more of it.

Then, in conversations with my trainer and a good friend of mine, I came to the realization that I've been somewhat too hung up on my 'numbers' and so on, that there was absolutely nothing wrong with just hooking up with someone if that's what I really wanted to do (which I've done in the past, but I thought I wanted to wait for something a bit more serious this time around), no one cares what I'm getting up to except the person with whom I'm up (or he's up), and really, what better way to start finally moving on from my ex- than to hook up?

At this point, it had been about a week since the boy and I talked. I told my ex- about my newfound philosophy, and he, in an apparent drunken state (of which I was later informed; I definitely didn't know at the time) more or less called me a whore. In his head, my saying that I was going to relax a little about my sexual style equated to "Jen's going to go out and fuck a bar every night."

Sorry, "make love to." Okay, that's only funny if I explain Valentine's Day.

We more or less got it sorted out later, although much fuming was done on my part.

Now, that same day, I'd received an email from the boy saying that he liked my new haircut, and he found it sexy in a cute kind of way. I figured this was a sign that his ardour wasn't entirely dulled. I emailed him back and then wound up calling and leaving him a message, and he got back to me the next day. We made plans for coffee (about a week and a half after the first talk took place), and that was that.

The boy and I got together for coffee, and it was established that what he wanted was a friends with benefits kind of arrangement, no monogamy, etc.

Admittedly, not really what I was looking for, but in the interests of trying to get my ex- behind me (hehehe), we did the deed... kinda. See, neither of us finished, and we haven't been in touch since (that was last Wednesday), so I figure that it probably was about as good for him as it was for me. Meaning, not the worst, but nowhere near the best I've had.

I don't know. I don't need to be in love to have sex or even a good relationship, but it certainly helps. I'm comfortable with my body and my sexuality and all that stuff, but I find that when I'm with someone I at least care about, I want the sex to be better, so I invest more of myself in it. I don't break out the good moves for someone who just wants to be my fuck friend; but if it's a boyfriend or someone close to that, better believe I'm gonna leave 'em ridden hard and put away wet. And I'll do it with a smile on my face, a song in my heart, and the neighbours will be wondering for a week what the hell all the fuss was about.

Tied into the boy situation is Saturday night's adventure to the bars. Long story short, I wound up picking up at the end of the night and we have a date tonight. I have to admit, I'm kinda looking forward to it. I've noticed this guy around before (he works at a retail place in my nearest mall), and always thought he was cute, so we'll see how things go. I'm not going into this expecting a boyfriend out of it, but it'd be nice not to have the possibility ruled out from the start.

But between the last few guys I've dated, the guys on Lavalife, and the last boy... I'm starting to wonder if anyone wants a relationship anymore. And funnily enough, this very issue was covered by someone in the Dear Abby column today. The person's even my age, but I promise, I didn't write it.

And finally, the reason I'm all punch drunk and tired and stupid is because I got myself a kitten for Valentine's day. No name yet, she's about 7 weeks old, hyper/pesty as hell, and adorable to balance it out.

comments (9)

First of all, thank you... things have been remarkably un-Sex-in-the-City here since I found a man. Please, please pick up my slack.

When I had a hookup buddy, it was definitely meat & potatoes sex. I did not feel like giving him the fun positions, the great long sessions of head, and just... the investment. I liked it though. In the way that I like... comics vs. a really good book.

by Linz at February 16, 2004 1:17 PM

Well, I'll see what I can do about the slack part -- 23 years old and I'm finally dating for a change. :P

I've had hookup buddies before, but it was a bit more relationshippy. It's hard to describe -- I can't even get it straight in my head.

by Jen at February 16, 2004 1:38 PM

Relationshippy is a great word.

In my day we really had no equivalent of the hookup buddy. But boy did we have plenty of rebound action. Rebound can be great, unless you yell out the wrong name. Oops.

by anna at February 16, 2004 6:10 PM

by Mr. Met at February 16, 2004 6:19 PM

do it jen. go for the low comittment hook-ups and don't look back. some of my fondest memories come from those times. some of my weirdest too.

by lajo at February 16, 2004 10:27 PM

Jen, I wished you lived closer to me. Even though I draw comics, I think we'd have a good chance of working on a really good book. I promise to wash my hands before I touch any keyboards.

by MrBlank at February 16, 2004 10:55 PM

Hey, thanks. :) Mind you, if you're serious, the Internet works great for people who live far apart and need to communicate. :)

From whence do you hail, MrBlank?

by Jen at February 17, 2004 5:51 AM

My hail is smack dab in the middle of Missouri.

by MrBlank at February 17, 2004 7:17 PM

I'm with Mr. Met:

by anna at February 19, 2004 7:53 AM

comments are closed