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anna

Well, you shoved it in my face

by anna at 07:12 PM on November 14, 2003

Me: So Osama, what makes you so sure your religion is so much better than others?
Osama: Allah is almighty. Mohammed was his chosen prophet. So martyrdom operations will-
Me: Oh shut up. I'm handling claims for people traumatized in your attack on the Pentagon. They were just trying to earn a living, something a rich scion of an influential family would know nothing about. What would you say the them?
Osama: This was legitimate military target. I declare war on all infidels in 1998. They should have guard it better.
Me: Good point. I've noticed that they've stationed antiaircraft batteries there, though it's a little late now. Have you any nasty pictures of America's Slutheart, Jessica Lynch?
Osama: No.
Me: Need some?
Osama: Osama not go in for that sort of thing.
Me: Fair enough. The Saudis revoked your citizenship. They ran you out of Sudan. Then they ran you out of Afghanistan. Where you been hanging lately?
Osama: Still in Afghanistan, just dressed little differently.
Me: So where'd you find this Atta character?
Osama: In Egypt. His family is well-to-do and I know his father; did his mom a few times too. She beat, so I leave burqa on her.
Me: Atta mustn't have been too hard to find, what with that huge noggin and all.
Osama: Heh-heh. Osama get jokes.
Me:Let's talk about your 1st wife and baby-mom Sahiba, shall we?
Osama: That not on approved question list!
Me: She walked out on you, didn't she?
Osama: No, I throw her out. That bitch.
Me: She was livid when you dared to bring a sweet thing half your age into the fold.
Osama: There lots more of them out there. How do you say, plenty of fish in pond.
Me: Sea.
Osama: See what?
Me: No, sea. It's plenty of fish in the sea.
Osama: Oh.
Me: Guess what. There's a $20 million bounty on your head.
Osama: I know. I listen to al-Jazeera. But who would me foolish enough to rat me out and bring wrath of Allah upon them?
Me: Me.
Osama: What's that in your hand?
Me: A loaded 9 mm pistol.
Osama: I've been shot! Call Dr. Zawahiri at once.
Ring!
Me: It's Donald Rumsfeld. He wants to talk to you.
Osama: I haven't got time for that. I need a doctor.
Me: I'm gonna put your head on a pike. *rips eyeball out and skull-fucks him to death*
Me: There. Now you look more like your one-eyed patsy Mullah Omar. How come there's no decent pics of him on the Net?
Osama:
Me: Okay Donald, gimme your cell and I'll shoot you a pic of his dead ass. Now when should I expect my check?

comments (13)

Hi, my name is Michael and I'm 18 years old. I was wondering if someone could post the Paris Hilton sex tape here? Please?

Also I was wondering, Anna, are you a man or a woman? Are you gay? Transvitite? I don't get it...

by Michael Dubinsky at November 15, 2003 6:23 PM


Michael, I am a Transvistite. And since you're 18, you're old enough to view the Paris Hilton pix.

by anna at November 16, 2003 8:38 AM


Fuck you asshole!!! That was Hilton Hotels don't think I don't know the difference. Fucking gay.

by Michael Dubinsky at November 16, 2003 12:18 PM


gay....what?

dear michael. gay is really an adjective. try and use it as such.

by lajo at November 16, 2003 2:50 PM


I didn't know you were a secret squirrel Anna. Good shot.

"That was Hilton Hotels don't think I don't know the difference."

Michael, if you didn't know the difference between a building and a woman then there would be something seriously wrong and I would recommend either an optometrist or a psychiatrist.

by Ezy at November 17, 2003 9:36 AM


After he detonated explosives outside two synagogues, killing mostly Muslims, Osama issued another menacing missive that promised more mayhem here. As usual it was punctuated with "God willing," as if God is green-lighting his sickness. I would love to rip his sanctimonious head off and shit down his neck. Ditto for all his associates and wives execpt Sabiha.

by anna at November 17, 2003 6:19 PM


do you contract out that skull-fucking-to-death thing? because i know some people who are prime candidates, and i just don't have what it takes to do it myself.


aren't transvestites those monks that make their own beer to raise money for the monastery?

by r@d@r at November 18, 2003 2:48 PM


only the ones wearing panties+ f.m. pumps below the robes...

by lajo at November 18, 2003 4:31 PM


I first heard the skull-fucking reference right after I hit a guy in the jaw during a drunken barroom brawl. That is when you're in the now. You think you took your best shot (and thanks, Ezy, that guy was just getting on my nerves) and he doesn't even flinch and threatens to do that to you. Bah!

by anna at November 18, 2003 6:45 PM


I first heard the skull-fucking reference right after I hit a guy in the jaw during a drunken barroom brawl. That is when you're in the now. You think you took your best shot (and thanks, Ezy, that guy was just getting on my nerves) and he doesn't even flinch and threatens to do that to you. Bah!

by anna at November 18, 2003 6:46 PM


I first heard the skull-fucking reference right after I hit a guy in the jaw during a drunken barroom brawl. That is when you're in the now. You think you took your best shot (and thanks, Ezy, that guy was just getting on my nerves) and he doesn't even flinch and threatens to do that to you. Bah!

by anna at November 18, 2003 6:47 PM


De Nada Anna. Circle the wagons and all. Pack mentality if you will..

by Ezy at November 19, 2003 9:16 AM


i bimal want to save some moving pictures of osama that moves for MSN weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee my brothrs wants it and me i wnt the osama with the shot head please put it in my massenger pls from love bimalvaswani thank you very much

by bimal ramchand sunil vaswani at August 11, 2007 1:39 AM



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