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spending warm summer days indoors writing frightening verse to a buck-toothed girl in luxembourg

by mg at 04:12 PM on November 12, 2003

I’ve got this feeling that some time in the future I’m going to have serious back problems. The reason I have this feeling is because I occasionally, and much more frequently in the past several years, get these bouts of insane back spasms. I’m not really sure what brings on the pain, only that I know it recurs every once in a while, and I see no reason to believe that it wont continue to occur, and to continue to get worse.

The worst of bout came last summer (or crap, I suppose that was two years ago!) when I somehow managed to hurt myself, and then spent the next three days unable to get off the floor. I crawled to and from the bathroom, until I realized it’d be easier just to stay in the bathroom, which I did until I remembered that I didn’t have a TV in the bathroom, so went back to crawling to and fro.

It was almost a week before I was able to comfortably get up and walk around. Luckily, I didn’t have a job or any other responsibilities so I could lie on the floor for a week and not have it make any sort of difference in my life. Also, luckily at the time, my mom let me have some painkillers (Hydrocodone) and muscle relaxants (Baclofen). I never felt like they were making a difference, as far as reducing pain or relaxing muscles, but since I didn’t die, which I really thought I was going to (and for a couple minutes hoped I would) I suppose they must have helped me a little.

If it isn’t obvious, I’m currently suffering through a little bit of another spell of back pain, and I decided to try the meds again to see if they’d have any effect. Boy, have they had an effect.

I can honestly say that I’m about as high as I have been in five years. Being as that five years ago was the last time I got high, period, I suppose it makes sense that today I’m as high as I’ve been since then. Anyway, this time, and that time, make up two of the five top spots as far as the times when I’ve been the highest in my life.

The last time my roommates decided to make some cookies made with hash butter, which none of us had tried before, which is an important piece of information. Since we’d never tried them before, we didn’t know the proper dosage, or how long it would be before they’d take effect. We had two or three each, and after half an hour with no effect, we decided to eat a couple more. Not more than five minutes later, the first ones hit, and half an hour later, I was so far gone that I seem to remember being able to teleport from one location to another. I’m not much for drugs, smoking pot just makes me insanely paranoid, but I certainly have no problem with cookies.

I’m not sure what the point is, other than to say I’m feeling really good right now, and since I haven’t done drunken-blogging in a while, I thought I’d try stoned blogging.

comments (14)

Welcome MG. I wondered when you'd sink to my level. Painkillers do rock and when they're mixed with muscle relaxants then it's even better. That floating euphoric feeling is hard to beat. The only problem is that you get nothing done at all except for staring at shit like you've never seen anything like it before. Like a TV for instance.

by Ezy at November 12, 2003 4:48 PM

i've gotten a back spasm or two in my day. the real pisser is that there's no cure but rest. never did try any pain pills though. apparently some people in my family are notoriously hard to medicate, and i must fall within this group. at the dentist it's always been one novocaine shot..

feel anything?
uh no just the needle, doc.

second shot...
yeah, the NEEDLE.

third shot and so on...
this goes on for what can be four plus shots. eventually, after all the hammering's done and i go home, most of that stuff finally kicks in and i can't feel my neck. but by then who the fuck cares?

makes the drive kind of weird though.

that's all i've got.

by lajo at November 12, 2003 5:10 PM

I once got novacained in the eye.

by mg at November 12, 2003 5:12 PM

novocaine huh?

because if you came out of your laughing gas nap, and just had a lot of trouble prying one of your eyes open....

by lajo at November 12, 2003 5:17 PM

Skip the muscle relaxers, replace with beer or wine. Make sure your will is in order.

by anna at November 12, 2003 6:15 PM

I took four shots of Novocaine once... it kicked in about halfway through the tooth extraction, and then they told me to bite on some cotton for 3 hours when I got home. It turned out I'd missed the cotton and was biting on my tongue, and I bit the side of it flat!! Amazingly, I hadn't hurt myself.

Doctors don't know jack shit about back problems. Try a chiropractor once you can get out of the house. That always works for me.

by jean at November 12, 2003 8:27 PM

MG- sorry to hear that your anus hurts. Feel better soon!

by Eviltom at November 12, 2003 9:48 PM

The last time I ate the ganja food I ended up driving 50 mph in a 70 zone, and I had to turn off my cell phone & my stereo for 2 hours because I was afraid to talk to anyone, and Coldplay had some very sinister undertones.

by Linz at November 13, 2003 1:34 PM

I need mind relax...for in my life.i am male 24 yrs .searcing job in software filed.

by muthu at November 14, 2003 3:09 AM

Beyond a "mind relax," I might suggest a dictionary.

by Linz at November 14, 2003 9:52 AM

I think Coldplay always has sinister undertones.

Muthu's random comment reminds me of the new spam mail I'm getting. It used to come in emails that I always thought were gerated out of some software program automatically. But now I'm getting emails sent through the webmail form on this site, which means some person is comming here, finding the link, and mannually filling out the form. All to try to concvince me they live in Mongolia and need money for an operation, or are a low level minisiter in Angola and want me to help them smuggle millions out of the country. It's one thing when spam is anonymous, but when it is so directed (or in comments here) it makes me feel a little violated. But that could just be the medication talking.

by mg at November 14, 2003 10:30 AM

A programmer at one of my previous jobs asked me to proofread his resume once. He'd immigrated from India on an H-1 visa, i.e. specifically to work as a software programmer. We could communicate fine, but his resume was a nightmare... total nightmare. I mean it with all due respect, because I doubt my own parents could do any better. It needed to be burned and rewritten. Really nice guy. So... don't be too hard on Muthu.

by jean at November 15, 2003 1:30 AM

You mean some people blog when they're NOT stoned???

by Charles at November 16, 2003 3:29 AM

I am back in circulation. Hope your back is feeling better. If so, please send me the rest of your Oxycodone. Overnight it.

by rush limbo at November 18, 2003 7:56 AM

comments are closed