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I'll make it to the moon if I have to crawl

by anna at 07:41 AM on November 25, 2003

When you read the early entries on this or any other longstanding web log, you get a sense that there was something daring and novel going on. You could tell the writers felt that the possibilities online were limitless. The Internet was going to be our Mecca, where cyber-pilgrims would flock for a plethora of high-minded reasons. As with the microwave oven and washing machines before that, it was going to revolutionize the world.

Obviously, it didn’t, anymore than this brand spanking new millennium seems any different that its dreary predecessor. All those venture capital-funded sites went belly-up for lack of interest, leaving investors high and dry. I have read that over a trillion dollars was lost when the dot-com bubble burst, as anyone with any sense had to know it would. Allah only knows where it went. Not into my account, that’s for sure.

The sad-sack Internet we’re left with is a swirling cesspool teeming with inescapable porn sites, prescription drug hustlers, information highwaymen, al Qaeda scum, knee-jerk advocacy, celebrity shrines and crooked casinos. Yet people fritter away hours online, searching high and low for naked pictures of Private Jessica Lynch, video of Paris Hilton proving why top flight porn actresses are paid so well or Tommy Lee giving Pam Anderson a collagen injection. They stock up on placebos from sham pharmacies. They get their identities pilfered as if TVs during the Rodney King riots. Al Qaeda shill al-Jazeera continues to spout its hateful missives. Traditionalist gadfly Bill O’Reilly’s site conducts polls purported to show that---surprise, surprise---Americans hold traditional views. Pouty tennis bust Anna Kournikova becomes the world’s most downloaded athlete ever. It’s just a matter of time until a racy video of her and Julio Iglesias turns up. Gambling addicts allow casinos to suck up their life savings as surely as Ms. Anderson lapped up Mr. Lee’s jism.

Now you don’t suppose these sleazy offshore operators might detect what bets have been placed and ensure that another number comes up? If not you’d probably drop your kid off for a sleepover at Neverland Ranch. And heaven forbid you should win some money and have the audacity to cash out. The casinos want your firstborn son before they’ll release any funds.

Indeed, just such a smut-search might have led you to this post. It’s not for nothing that that wily hit-whore MG mentions the slut-socialite Paris Hilton in his tagline, no?

It’s amazing how pervasive the porn has gotten anymore. Once I was on a perfectly legit site at work. I must have clicked the wrong link because out of nowhere this sultry, suggestive voice cooed, “If you’d like to video-chat with me, click here.” Just then my boss sauntered by, naturally. Bah!

And of course our inboxes are all inundated with emails from “sexy coeds” i.e. decrepit old hags who invite you to appraise them in their “g-stings” i.e. crusty bloomers via grainy web-cam.

Your challenge, should you choose to accept it, is this: Show us some sites that serve a real societal purpose, like Mr. Blank’s German orgasm sound site. Or at least sites that are worthwhile if only as a curiosity, such as the ever elusive ClubRecluse.com (where, incidentally, I sent my $19.95 for membership materials that never arrived) or this or that.

comments (6)

VHEMT needs to take hold in the D.C. area. There are just too damn many people in my way during rush hour.

by Ezy at November 25, 2003 11:33 AM

I like educational sites such as Britney Spears guide to semi-conductor physics:

While the internet may not have revolutionized society over night, I think it is having a profound affect, in that it has increased the rate of two things: information processing - I find instantly, things which used to take days; and communication. The value of communication is easy to underestimate in the short run, but in the long run the ability to communicate ideas and increase the overall information throughput (including all kinds of expression) through a complex system (such as a world of brains) will surely change things. Examples might be the kinds of things that happened when cells were able to come together and establish communication systems - single cells give rise to complex creatures(for us evolutionary types), or simply the workings of your brain. SIngle cells accomplishing inredible things through communciation.

by chris at November 25, 2003 1:22 PM

Where are the Germans and why are they having orgasms? Anna, refresh my memory with a link, please.

I don't know if these serve a real societal purpose, but I find them inspiring:

Dyske is good:

These guys have a great purpose, but I just find it all a bit juvenile. Rarely do art and politics mix well. Potential is there.

Stick it with those big corporations wanting to own your thoughts!

I'm thinking of joining:

I use this as a portal to quality web content:

by MrBlank at November 25, 2003 3:17 PM

I wouldn't know where to start, Mr. B. I just know you posted a comment once that said, "How about orgasm sounds." It was some German site that featured just that. MG, help. I will need to check out those sites you cited.

Ezy, I can't tell if VHEMT is serious but if so, DC is a good place to start. Everybody but you, me, Amy and Nanci must die.

Chris, I'd probably be more receptive to all the Net has to offer if AOL didn't block my access 90% of the time. When I post I have to use Internet Explorer because AOL leads me to this weird, evidently defunct MT site that doesn't work.

by anna at November 25, 2003 7:50 PM

Amen Anna. All of D.C. to ourselves. Sweet!

by Ezy at November 26, 2003 9:45 AM

In my favorites list are more than 600 sites that I felt, at a particular moment, I'd want to revist. Unfortunately, the constraints of time prohibit me from pretty much visiting any of them. Still, if you'd like me to send you my favorites and you can go through 'em and find ones you like, let me know.

by mg at December 1, 2003 12:42 PM

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