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gobble you down

by lajoie at 05:19 PM on November 24, 2003


Oooohhh yeah. You got it, baby.

Put it here. No…ok…right there. Yeah, there. Up a little, uh hunnhh. Better just go right in my mouth.

I just ate a barbeque chicken, panini fried sandwich. Full of grease and cheese and chicken. My stomach has a HUGE erection right now. That was like gastro-intestinal porn.

I ran out with an agenda, and came back with grease marks. Typical.

Today, like any other day recently, I went looking for this cute little art store girl, to see where she was eating. I’ve run into her before at the pizza joint, and the local rah-rah, shi-shi café. I checked both today. Nothing’s doing. I barely consider this stalking. I’ve checked with my P.O., and he said it probably wouldn’t send me back to jail. That’s pretty re-assuring all told, but when I really stop to think about it, going to jail right now might not be so bad..... what with all of the larger, more virile inmates mostly fretting over making time with Michael Jackson in a few months. Hell I might even take a whack.

So anyway, no art store girl. No pizza. No banter. Just chicken, barbeque variety. Who needs love interests when you’ve got food action like this?

You finished yet? Mmmmhhh yeah, I liked that too.

Ok, wipe up and go back to whatever you were doing.

comments (22)

No, that's not stalking it's coincidental presence. I don't know if you ever read my Cat Woman story but it's in the archives. Guys at my job were inventing all kind of excuses to be coincidentally present around her desk. The carpet was worn unevenly, for crying out loud.

by anna at November 24, 2003 6:23 PM

Oh and I followed the gastro-intestinal link. I knew food was hard to come by in Ethiopia but that's going a bit far. On a more serious note, there's an Ethiopian restaurant that's openned up in my 'hood. What do they serve there?

by anna at November 24, 2003 6:53 PM

ethiopian food is pretty great if the restaurant's any good. you use your hands. they give you this huge unleavened pancake, that's spongy and tangy. you tear off enough to cover your grubby mitt, and then scoop up the food into little hand wrought packets. the food is a series of mushes. bean mushes, vegetable mushes, chicken mushes, mush mushes.

i don't know if my description sounds too appealing, but the food really is great. try it, and make friends with the owner. then tell everyone you have an ethiopian friend. that should buy you three or four solid minutes in cocktail party chit-chat.

by lajo at November 24, 2003 7:03 PM

Okay Lajo, here's returning your 3 comment deal on my post Sunday AM. I signed off and went upstairs to watch TV with my wife. On comes a commercial for the Nissan Sentra. There's opera music and guys throwing water balloons at...you. I swear the resemblance is uncanny. When you see it, you'll freak. Somebody with more tech skills could probably produce a link.

by anna at November 24, 2003 7:16 PM

here's where not watching t.v. is going to keep me out of the loop. i guess i won't ever see it. but i will say this...

i'm the only me i know of.

by lajo at November 24, 2003 8:38 PM

I like Ethiopian food. Though the sponge-y-ness of the bread does take some getting used to.

I drive a Nissan Sentra.

I throw water balloons at Lajoie.

by Linz at November 25, 2003 10:05 AM

I have never tried Ethiopian food. Anna, we should totally take our ladies out for a culinary experience second to none. Close to your location means it's close to mine. What do ya think?

Lajo, I wouldn't call that stalking. Who, in their right mind, wouldn't want to run into that be it intentional or not?

by Ezy at November 25, 2003 11:20 AM

i don't know. i got stalked once, walking home from the library. she was kind of cute, but a little crazy-eyed.

anyway, she ran up behind me after pacing me for blocks and said something "sorry i never do this, i'm not a stalker you know...."

but she was a stalker.

by lajo at November 25, 2003 1:01 PM

I have had experiences with stalkers also Lajo. In fact, there are three posts in the archives dealing with a stalker I had for sixteen years or so. That, my friend, is a stalker.

by Ezy at November 25, 2003 1:26 PM

I want a stalker like Lajo's stalker. I'd act like it annoys me but secretly, I'd like it.

by MrBlank at November 25, 2003 3:30 PM

Cute and a little crazy eyed does sound fun.

by Ezy at November 25, 2003 3:53 PM

well, normally that's my thing...cute, crazy eyes and whatnot. but in this particular case, i just wasn't that into it. call it a vibe.

i didn't act like it annoyed me. but i did kind of like it.

by lajo at November 25, 2003 4:17 PM

In my experience nothing says stalker like, "I'm not a stalker."

by Linz at November 25, 2003 4:41 PM

I'm up for it Ezy. But we've been on this Vietnamese kick lately.

by anna at November 25, 2003 7:54 PM

for the record, i don't condone kicking the vietnamese.

by lajoie at November 25, 2003 11:38 PM

Lajo make me a promise. The next time you "happen across" art school girl, approach her. Say something natural like my buddy Roger's standby line: "So, do you still have that picture of my dick and balls on your nightstand?" Talk about an icebreaker.

by anna at November 26, 2003 8:05 AM

Amy and I have been on a Vietnamese kick for the past few months too. There is this little joint (Saigon Cafe) right down the street from us and they have the best Vietnamese food I have ever had. Everything is fresh and the owner even grows all of her own spices and herbs. We should plan a dinner on our side and one on yours. Check out some new eateries.

by Ezy at November 26, 2003 9:53 AM

anna, i can promise the talking part. i'm actually not too shy about that. i've walked right up and talked before. see, right now we're in the seed planting stage, whereby each moment of contact has to have exactly the right amount of give and take. there's a delicate balance between showing interest, and creating interest.

it's touchy feely...

ezy, anna, get off your lazy asses and make a phone call. you guys could be hanging out in five minutes. enough with the fluffing.

by lajo at November 26, 2003 12:02 PM

Yup, it's Lajo the Love-Farmer. In my single days I favored a more direct approach. I was Russell the Love-Rancher.

by russell at November 27, 2003 9:29 AM

How does that work? Did you herd up a big bunch of gals and ride around them yelling "Ya! Ya!"? And if lightning struck, would they stampede?

by jean at November 27, 2003 6:10 PM

I'd bring 'em out to the edge of a cliff to ensure proper recoil, West Virginia style.

by russell at November 28, 2003 4:04 AM

I have stalker stories you wound't believe. In high school I was stalked for three years by someone I wouldn't have been able to pick out of a lineup. Finally, in senior year, when we actually were in a class together, the whole thing came out, and got much more weird. She threatened my then girlfriend in the hall once, stopped speaking to a mutual friend of ours because she suspected he (yes, he) had a crush on me, and would sing Barenaked Ladies and Van Morrisson songs to me in the lunch room.

Then there was college, where I had three women knocking on my door in the middle of the night (on the same night). Though, maybe that one was a little my fault.

by mg at December 1, 2003 12:39 PM

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