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by anna at 05:42 PM on October 22, 2003


Sniper John Muhammed's trial began this week. He's charged with gunning down Dean meyers at a Sunuco near my stepdaughter's apartment. Had the bullet gone astray she might have been killed. That hits a little too close to home. That hits a little too close to home. Thus I've taken an interest in a trial that has foregone cunclusion: guilty as charged.

He elected to proceed Pro See, a bad move. In his opening remarks, he said had this to say about the jurors: "They wasn't there. I was. I know what happened and what didn't" To top it off he allowed prosecuters to leave grisly images of Meyer's corpse on monitors far longer than necessary. Anyone who's watched Law and Order would know to object to that as gratuitous. Although he's since changed his mind about representing himself, the damage is done. He's a goner.

But there should be some question as to whether he'll receive a death sentence. Va law allows the state to whack anyone who kills 2 people in 3 years, including juveniles. That's why ag ashcroft chose my home state as a venue. But there's a catch. You have to personally kill them. It's called the triggerman rule. Police haven't a shred of evidence that Muhammed shot anyone.

The second way to be rid of this scum is under an untested anti-terrorism law passed in the wake of 9/11. Lawmakers wanted to ensure that osama would pay the ultimate price for the pentagon bloodbath even though he was thousands of miles away. It wasn't their intent to condemn a sniper-accomplice or "sighter" like Muhammed.

The punk Lee Boyd Malvo's story is more straightforward. First off, he was an illegal alien with no business infesting this nation. Second, he plans to mount an insanity defense. That never goes over real well here in the south. Lastly he's a black man who shot a white woman for no reason, a definite no-no round these parts. Say bye-bye.

Both of them are born losers who never amounted to anything. I won't lose any sleep over their executions. I certainly have no desire to subsidize their lavish indoor lifestyle, which is a major step up from their previous residence in an old chevy caprice. Nonetheless, i get the feeling muhammed is getting railroaded.
Fact is authorities are always trying to manipulate statutes to off notorious n'er-do-wells. Charlie Manson got a death sentence even though he wasn't at the Tate or Labianca scenes. Scott Peterson faces two murder counts even though he allegedly murdered just one person. The extra count will allow ca to revoke his gene pool pass.

Last I checked, folks, fetii aren't people. If they were, jails would be full of abortionists and abusive husbands.

Strange indeed but to me the oddest part about the Peterson case is how Laci was such a lip-sticky hottie while his masseuse/mistressm is such a dog. How many wive keep wearing bright red lipstick five years into the marriage? Dude, what were you thinking?

<ed note>all caps removed for the sake of all our sanity</ed note>

comments (18)

sorry about the finger and all, but if you don't want to use the shift key, it'd be far better (in my humble opinion) to use all lowercase than all caps. i'm sure you have some good points in your post, but i can't get past the CAPITALIZATION OF EVERY FREAKIN' LETTER OF EVERY FREAKIN' WORD to read it.

so what's involved in a "bizarre sleep accident" anyway? were you dreaming of being in a fight, and took a swing in your dream, only to wake up and actually punch the wall? that happened to me once, but i didn't break any fingers.

by JC at October 22, 2003 5:58 PM

hey, i've been mostly gone for a while...what the hell happened to lockheed?

by JC at October 22, 2003 5:59 PM

JC, you're right on. All lowercase is generally acceptable. All uppercase makes one a bad person. And yeah, where the hell is Lockheed? That guy rocks.

Anna, sleep accident, eh? Is that secret code for "I got my finger stuck in someone's anus"?

by Eviltom at October 22, 2003 7:09 PM

Yeah, i believe you got in a bad sleep accident as much as I believe Jake Plummer broke his foot getting off the couch. Getting off Ed McCaffrey is more like it.

by mg at October 23, 2003 12:33 AM

As Saturday Night Live taught me just last week, if someone takes a swing at you, you deflect his big round head towards the floor and he falls. Is that what happened?

I find it ironic that Scott Peterson is-- correct me if I'm wrong-- a fertilizer salesman.

by jean at October 23, 2003 3:13 AM

MG- Jake Plummer broke his foot getting off Tim Couch.

by Eviltom at October 23, 2003 8:27 AM

I tend to agree with you Anna. Cops, in general, have to charge someone with something after a crime or they look ridiculous. Railroaded or not the evidence surrounding both of these assholes is damning. The cutout in the trunk, an assualt rifle that matches the rifling on the bullets recovered from various crime scenes, the guy's computer in their car when they were apprehended all point to some wrongdoing. It doesn't prove who pulled the trigger but if I was on the jury I would find it very hard to let either of these guys back in society.

Oh yea, where the hell IS Lockheed?

by Ezy at October 23, 2003 8:51 AM

ET - Tim Couch, that was totally the joke I was going for, but I'm an idiot.

Anna (and others) - I removed the all caps to keep people from getting angry, because as well all know, all caps sends most people into a murderous rage (perhaps that explains Malvo/Muhammed?). I didn't want to retype everything, so found a neat trick I'd never heard of, and that I thought you might like to know. In MS Word, highlight the text you want, and then press Shift+F3. It'll toggle through all caps, no caps, and first caps. Very handy.

by mg at October 23, 2003 9:55 AM

MG, you should really check into getting academic status for Bad Sam. I learn something new here every day.

by Ezy at October 23, 2003 11:26 AM

Or highlight the text and choose "change case" under the format tab.

by chuckwoollery at October 23, 2003 2:27 PM

Hot damn! I've been dying to know how to do that for years!

by jean at October 23, 2003 3:29 PM

sorry anna. i'm no capitalist, but i just couldn't read this post until mg saved the day. it was like staring at the sun, or maybe right into the mouth of a taxidrier with hallutosis who's yelling at you for getting gum on his seat.

what ever happenened to old ladies on thrones with great, funky wigs who said "off with his head!"? i miss those days. i also miss 'sanford and son'.

by lajoie at October 23, 2003 3:32 PM

Speaking of missing people... where's LINZ? I suspect that she and Lockheed got hitched and are on their honeymoon.

by Eviltom at October 23, 2003 3:42 PM

I miss Lock too. You'll recall we had a thang goin' on way back when.

I didn't know caps were such a turnoff, though it does kind of seem like you're yelling. Thanks MG!

I waffle about the death penalty thing all the time. Last nite we watched the chilling The Life of David Gale, which deals with it in vivid detail. Highly recommend, unless you're like staunchly pro-death. Especially the sex scene early on. Rip it off! No, from behind!

And the injury did occur in my sleep but seems to have healed itself.

by anna at October 23, 2003 6:10 PM

It's not the death penalty that gives me a pause. I believe that there are some crimes that you should be put to death for. I am from a kind of "eye for an eye" region of the US so that might have something to do with it. Anyway, what scares me is our legal system. The side with the best and most persuasive lawyers can sway a jury to their cause and what's with the keeping evidence out of court thing? I believe that every shred of evidence should be admissable so the jury can make a fair determination of what happened. We are trying to find out the truth of what happened aren't we? I don't see how you can dole out justice without examining everything.

by Ezy at October 24, 2003 8:52 AM

You know, Ezy, that is a really good point, and something I've never really thought about. The 4th Amendment was meant to stop police from knocking people's doors down. Over the last half century or so, it seems to have become less about protecting individuals from illegal searches and more about finding any excuse to disqualify evidence. That is a definite perversion of the original intent of the Constitution and it is very unfortunate.

by mg at October 24, 2003 9:15 AM

I agree wholeheartedly MG. I think it's the same as with anything else. If you leave too much up to interpretation sooner or later it will become a perversion. I think the first time I noticed it was during the OJ trial. I'm as against illegal search and siezure as any other American but after a crime has been committed I think anything within that residence or any suspect's residence with relevence to the crime should be fair game.

by Ezy at October 24, 2003 9:35 AM

Well, the OJ fiasco was definitely a third trimester miscarriage of justice. But how 'bout this, from my county: Lorena Bobbitt lops off her hubby's prick while he sleeps. She walks on an insanity dodge, claiming years of emotional abuse from him. So he's charged with said abuse and he too walks! Both cases were proscuted by the bungling Paul Ebert, who is now in charge of disposing of John Muhammed.

Hey, links/bold/italics function in comments!!! Too bad I've got no links.

by anna at October 24, 2003 5:59 PM

comments are closed