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if only i'd thought of the right words i wouldn't be breaking apart all my pictures of you

by mg at 11:26 AM on October 28, 2003

I'm what you might call an early adopter. Not in that Angelina Jolie or Mia Farrow Chinese baby early adoption way, but in the "I want that new piece of technology, and I want it before all my friends get one kind" of a way. Which is, you know, just a selfless as the Chinese-baby adoption thing, if only because I'm often stuck with a useless widget that I can then steer my friends away from spending their money on.

The point is, when I replaced my sickly cell phone last month, I went whole hog and bought one of them thar' camera phones. The picture quality is less than stellar, but it is phone being able to take pictures, stealthily, whenever I want. It makes me feel like James Bond. Or a stalker.

A self portrait. I'm not a complete narcissist, but it seems most of the pictures I take are of myself. What a like most about this shot is the poster behind me. If I were a rock star, I'd use a picture like this for my first album cover.

A picture from the weekly Farmer's Market in Union Square Park. These are mums that were as wide around, at the bottom, as Mike Tyson's neck. At the top, they were as large as Mike Tyson's cell mate's sphincter after Tyson was through with him.

Yes, I do realize how immature I am, but I just thought this was hilarious.

I was at the Museum of Natural History over the weekend. In the "Native Peoples" wing there are all these life-size dioramas of, well, Native Peoples. When I saw this dude getting ready to throw a spear with his dink hanging out, I couldn't help myself. What I don't get is that he is wearing a belt! If you are already putting on an item of clothing, why not let that one item you put on be a nice pair of underwear? I was going to take some pictures of the women with their native boobies hanging out, but I didn't want to look like a pervert.

It is a common topic of female comedians that men don't put the toilet seat down. Personally, I think if I bother to put it up (and thereby guarantee I'm not peeing on it) then the least the bitch could do is put the seat down, right? What irks me though, is when someone doesn't flush, as is the case in this picture, taken in a public bathroom at school. What is even grosser than the lack of flushage, is the amazing amount of leekage. This person left a shot glass worth of urine on the floor. Gross.

I was bored in class one day. I wish my professor had been facing me when I snapped this one, just so you all could see how Hogwart's School he looks. Still, there is something about this picture I just really like.

A couple weeks ago, there was this car accident on the street where I live. It was the kind of accident you can hear from your apartment, and you immediately have to go stick your head out the window to see what happened, because, damn, who doesn't love a good car wreck? Un/luckily, this wasn't a bad accident. A couple minutes later I had to run out to the store, and decided to take the long route (ie. go in the completely wrong direction) to get a better look. The accident was between a taxi, who was completely at fault because he went the wrong way down a one way street. In the picture, the taxi driver is the guy in the blue pants. The driver of the other car, the enormous black guy, is standing next to him and looking like he's about the beat the crap out of the guy. This dude was so big that when he got out of his car it looked like that episode of The Simpsons where Nelson "ha-has" the big guy in the little car, and then the big guy gets out and makes Nelson degrade himself publicly. Remember that? The really funny part is, only a couple minutes later when I walked by again, the second driver looked like he was about to cry. I'd have go over to hug him, pat him on the head and tell him everything was alright, but I didn't have a ladder handy.

comments (27)

fix the dunkin donuts cup link... it also goes to the subway shot...

which incidentally, is a great picture of you, mg... who said you weren't photogenic? Something about you reminds me of my brother in law. Weird.

by Linz at October 28, 2003 12:46 PM

Good pics.

Can't wait for the album.

by chuckwoolery at October 28, 2003 12:59 PM

fix the dunkin donuts cup link

Should be fixed now.

I'm not sure I ever said I wasn't photogenic. Just that I never liked any picture of myself. Which is why I haven't changed my little thumbnail pic in 3+ years, and why I used a pic that is about 8-9 years old to begin within.

by mg at October 28, 2003 1:28 PM

Nice to see you, MG! It's been too long. I want a pen camera. Phone cameras are so... gauche.

by Lisa Jan at October 28, 2003 1:29 PM

Oh, mg, I misundaztood. Sorry.

At any rate, excellent pen choice. I myself do enjoy the Pilot Vball.

by Linz at October 28, 2003 1:36 PM

Dammit, that didn't work... sorry.

by Linz at October 28, 2003 1:37 PM

Fixed that, too.

It is a great pen, but it is so smooth it has ill effects on my handwriting, which is pretty awful to begin with. The ink flows so freely, it feels great to write, but I have a hard time reading it afterwards.

by mg at October 28, 2003 1:43 PM


by Linz at October 28, 2003 3:28 PM

for fuck's sake. I was trying to make a heart with a three and one of those sideways carrots, but for the love of god, I am not allowed. I give up, I'm just pooing all over your comments, but not on purpose.

by Linz at October 28, 2003 3:29 PM

I use the Zebra Jimnie Gel Rollerball pen myself. Good mix between easy to write with and comfort etc.

In my job I tend to go through about 4 refills a month (or so) and have about 25 of the pens in rotation. I'm glad I've conviced my work to buy the refills, as they are a little pricey...

by chuckwoolery at October 28, 2003 3:58 PM

I hereby accept defeat and ask that all future comments on this post be about pens, pencils, and other writing utensils, rather than on photographs. Seriously.

by mg at October 28, 2003 6:00 PM

I like fat pens that write in thick lines, black only. There's a vendor at my job who would regularly supply me with boxes full of promotional pens that fit the bill. I asked her replacement for pens and she brought me....one. That's when I found a new vendor. Fat Pens!

BTW, from today's crossword I now know what that -;) thing y'all do is called: an emoticon. Whatever that is.

by anna at October 28, 2003 6:36 PM

a friend carries around an epi-pen, which to the uninitiated is a self-induced, spring-loaded, stimulant injection given to fend off anaphylactic (allergic) reactions to food and such. when he was messing around with it as a youngin' he fired the pen as it was touching the tip of his index finger, going clear through to the other side and spraying his brother with a mixture of blood and speed.

i prefer the pentel sign pen for big mark-ups and a nice simple pilot precise v (ultra fine) for daily use.

by lajoie at October 28, 2003 8:18 PM

I prefer the blue. I have a few blacks, they mostly sit in my desk drawer. Unused, lonely.

What's the picture with the truck (I presume) with the JACK PAD writing on it? Some sort of Jackhammer truck or something?

by chuckwoolery at October 28, 2003 8:40 PM

I like that Pilot Extra-Fine, too, the V.5. I used that all through college, and loved loved loved it. Now Pilot has the G-2 (comes in 0.7 and 0.5), which is like the same, but retractable. I found them just last week and bought a package of four. We're inseparable already...

I bought a new cel with a camera in it too, but haven't been able to get Bluetooth to work on my Mac yet... Sony/Ericsson only offers Bluetooth software for PC's, the bastards. Your photos look terrific. They don't look like photos from a 35mm camera, but they have a definite small-lensed charm. And I love the slice-of-life-ness that they afford.

by jean at October 29, 2003 2:38 AM

For the record, Tyson was the catcher in our relationship. He bit off my finger as I muffled his cries.

by Tyson's Cellmate at October 29, 2003 7:48 AM

Sorry, MG. CAMERAS. It's about cameras. I have a Lomo. It is fantastic.

by Lisa Jan at October 29, 2003 12:38 PM

Love hurts. That's hardcore...

by jean at October 29, 2003 11:35 PM

I know if I had a good camera (which I do) I'd never take a lot of pictures. For some reason, I get real self concious when obviously taking pictures in public. I do love using the phone cam though, even if the picture quality reeks. I was thinking of making the cell phone photos a sem-regular thing here (for whenever I wanted to post but couldn't think of anything to say), but based on the chilly reception, I'm thinking of spinning it off as a new blog instead. The end.

by mg at October 31, 2003 12:10 AM

I'd like to see more photos. A collage of New York hotties snapped on the subway or in the street unbeknownst to them. That would be cool. Of course that could just be my inner voyeur coming out. I'll shut up now.

by Ezy at October 31, 2003 9:49 AM

I like Ezy's suggestion.

Of course when my girlfriend and I went through my pictures from my last trip to Montreal, and she saw the pictures of the unsuspecting girls in the street I took. Well, lets just say that I got a very strange look for those pictures.

Candid photos of unsuspecting NY hotties get my vote.

by chuckwoolery at October 31, 2003 4:33 PM

Collage of New York hotties? I think MG's already gotten the ball rolling with that shot of himself. Really MG, your thumbnail _really_ doesn't do you justice.

by jean at October 31, 2003 9:47 PM

Ah, I just noticed that you slyly titled this post using the song that's in the commercial that peddles camera phones... clever...

by jean at October 31, 2003 10:09 PM

I spend a lot of time in NYC and I am always taken by how...stylishly-dressed the women are. You imagine them donning a fashionable frock and heels to visit the laundromat. And I love the pix but just couldn't think of much to say about them.

by anna at November 1, 2003 8:11 AM

For the record, I'd forgotten that that wonderful Cure song had been used in that HP commercial at the time I put this together.

by mg at November 1, 2003 8:24 AM

Hee, funny that. It is a great song... so wistful.

by jean at November 2, 2003 4:24 AM

I found it strange that i stumbled upon this site only to find one of my favorite, yet vintage, t-shirts as one of his camera phone shots.

by DANI at November 5, 2003 1:15 AM

comments are closed