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effenheimer

Be-Bop-a-Too-Good-to-Be-True

by effenheimer at 05:48 PM on October 22, 2003

Jet when I was getting my buzz on and feeling good in the last post...

Well not five fuckin minutes after I posted the last entry I tried to leave when I stumbled upon about 6 managers soaking up the leftover booze down the hall with the publishers Barbie-esque personal assistant, a woman so hot she melts copper. Most guys dig that shit. I tend to discriminate against pretty people becase, well, because I hate the fuckers. They get everything handed to them. They can be stupid as shit and people will stare at them like they are enraptured. I make no aplogies.

They are pounding it back pretty good. One of the dudes decides we should all go to the TT bar. I'm down. It's 7:30 or so. Plenty of time to get our groove on and be home in time for Law&Order:SVU. I make no apologies. An hour later we're still there, at work, drinkin'. Well they are. I nurse my wine because I don't get hammered any more since that massive anxiety attack I had Summer '02.

Things are cool until the party planner (who stuck around to drink with us) tells me she really likes my column. This is embarrassing. I'd rather people just talked to me, but its either they ignore me or I have nothing to say because what do you say when someone lavishes you even a little bit with praise?

So the praise sets off the circulation manager (a glorified paperboy) who says ... and I quote ... "If you had any fuckin' talent you wouldn't be working in THIS place." Every word was emphasized about as snotty as you can get. Now, I'm senstive, but I know he's full of shit and either way he isn't qualified to judge, but god damn. Talk about a buzz kill.

Long story short he apologized, I made hime squirm and tomorrow I plan to hit him up for some promotional material. I want my face on every vending box in town. When people buy this paper, I want them to think ... my name and see my face.

I tell you though, I wanted to kick his ass pretty bad or at least bad ass him good.

comments (8)

Ah, drinking with Co-workers, like old times for me.
These days I try not to do that. Embarassed myself with too many drunken passes etc when I was younger. I was at least usually smart enough not to make ignorant comments like your glorified paperboy.
Well, at least no more obnoxious comments than I would make when I'm sober.


Are the party planner and the Barbie-esque Personal Assistant the same girl? or is the Party Planner not as hot as the P.A. and therefore not worth commenting on looks-wise?

by chuckWoolery at October 22, 2003 9:58 PM


Go Eff, you get your whoop-ass on!

by jean at October 23, 2003 3:07 AM


Make him suffer Eff. It's only justice.

by Ezy at October 23, 2003 8:59 AM


she was hot in that, if I was married to her, i'd be pretty happy kind of way that some ladies are hot, but the PA is likepornstar material, though i think she's a pib-hearted stupid bitch, other guys would probably really dig her blonde hair and vacant blue eyes.

the party planner is a cute chick that made me feel a little uncomfortable because good looking people have NEVER come up to me and told me how much they like me. I'm a fat dude, I grew up with the stench of pvoerty on me, good looking pretty people avoided me. to have one say, I really like your writing is the next best thing to oral.

I just don't know how to respond.

by eff at October 24, 2003 10:16 AM


Ask how it compares to anal. That should break the ice.

by Ezy at October 24, 2003 11:37 AM


What's wrong with blonde hair & vacant blue eyes??

by Linz at October 24, 2003 11:57 AM


You could invite her over to meet your pigs and gaze at the stars from the car seat on your porch... just kidding!

Last night a Stinking Rich guy I knew from college came by my parents' house to carpool me to a play. I was so glad it was night by the time he came, so he couldn't see the patchy bald lawn with the overgrown grass and trees, and tumbledown, bashed-in-by-vehicles driveway gate. I was expecting him to pull up in his old hand-me-down Mercedes-Benz and he came in a shiny new hand-me-down MB instead. Half an hour previous, I'd had to ask my parents to please finish their yelling match before his ETA at our house. Booyeah!

by jean at October 24, 2003 8:35 PM


not much wrong with blonde hair, but vacant eyes of any color are a huge turnoff. i like to know somebody is home,unless i'm screwing, then that "I'm in my happy place" thousand yard stare shit let's me know I'm doin' it right!

by eff at October 27, 2003 7:58 PM



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