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anna

And it's also true that I lost the map

by anna at 05:37 PM on October 13, 2003

Warning: This post contains sweeping generalities. If you truly believe we're all individuals free of preordained tendencies, read no further.

Most guys either can't or don't wrap gifts very well. Nor do they tend to put much thought into gift purchases. They aren't real good at whipping up gravy from scratch either. For the life of them they can't keep track of birthdays or anniversaries. Guys don't excel at faking interest in things that bore them, like ballet or feelings or gossip. Empathy doesn't come easy to guys. Nor does a simple act like sewing on a button. Generally speaking, dudes aren't good team players. Many of them tend to be loners who call escort services when they want companionship. Bail bondsmen consider them greater flight risks. They fart freely and they are slobs.

Few gals can throw a ball with much oomph. You don't want to take a girl to an all-you-can-eat buffet. Women are easily tempted by such forbidden treats as chocolate. At the same time, many of them seem embarassed about the necessity of eating. They're often jealous of one another. They make catty remarks. They aren't good at reading maps.

Men can read maps and fix things. They know more about cars and appliances. They aren't overly talkative unless they're on coke, a definite plus. Men take great satisfaction in a job well done. They're goal-oriented. Overall, men are tougher. To them, everything is black and white with no grey areas.

Women are pleasing to the eye and seem to come in more physical varieties. They smell better than dudes. Their belly buttons are cuter. They are intuitive and attuned to nuance. Most of them possess an innate skill set that eludes men, including gravy-making, gift-wrapping and giving head. They pee sitting down so you don't have to deal with that icky residue around the toilet bowl. They seldom fart and tend to be fastidious. Insurance companies consider them safer drivers. And they are willing to put in the work necessary to sustain friendships.

Men often sprout unsightly hair in all the wrong places. Women rarely do, and when it happens they get rid of it pronto.

Until age 11, girls are easier to raise. After 11, they're much more combative and difficult than boys. Voluptuous women usually claim to have been late bloomers who had few dates in high school, while buff male pro athletes excelled at sports from a young age. These studs started getting laid regularly in their cribs.

Guys like almost nothing better than to have a girl complement them on their penis size, even if deep down they know it's barely mediocre. The only thing better would be to overhear her gushing about his battering ram to a girlfriend. Gals like for guys to tell them they smell good, but only if it's in fact true. They don't want to hear that after a grueling workout or gang bang. And they'd be mortified to overhear him gushing about her firm tits to a pal. Ditto for her blowjob lips (you know, the ones that never quite close.)

Chicks have their own words, like "bitchy." So do guys, like "blowjob lips."

That's all I could think of at the moment. Maybe y'all have noticed other subtle differences between the two main genders?

comments (10)

One thing I've noticed in a generalized way, guys think promiscuity among men is okay, but among women not okay.

A man who has 20 one night stands in a year is a stud, but a woman who has 4 is a slut. They are way into their madonna/whore complexes.

by syd at October 14, 2003 9:50 AM


I agree to some extent but with guys, there's the issue of standards or total lack thereof. Certain associates of mine took a lot of ribbing for banging any gal that moved. And sometimes ones that didn't, like after that horrific car crash I, er, he was in.

BTW, what's with the dearth o' comments 'round here? Before we were on a roll. Maybe these two posts just suck.

by anna at October 14, 2003 5:38 PM


I agree to some extent but with guys, there's the issue of standards or total lack thereof. Certain associates of mine took a lot of ribbing for banging any gal that moved. And sometimes ones that didn't, like after that horrific car crash I, er, he was in.

BTW, what's with the dearth o' comments 'round here? Before we were on a roll. Maybe these two posts just suck.

by anna at October 14, 2003 5:38 PM


i always liked references to FME, or 'fuck me eyes'.

though they can belong to each sex, i'm sure, i can't say for sure i've ever recognized this feature in anyone but females. to further clarify, they probably were looking right past me, and at one of my friends...or were sufficiently whetted with drink and too googly-eyed to hit their intended target.

maybe if i think back hard enough i can think of some unsolicited RMCITBOYTE or 'ram my cock into the back of your throat eyes' casually tossed my way in some of the local, 'happy male' scenery here. in fact, yes i can remember some of that.


by lajoie at October 14, 2003 6:43 PM


How about this: guys blow all their money on cars and gadgets, while girls blow all their money on clothes and beauty products. In general, of course.

by jean at October 15, 2003 4:02 AM


Oh yeah, and women may knit (or crochet, macrame, etc.), but men fear knitting with an unholy terror.

by jean at October 15, 2003 4:12 AM


My guess is that women are better at guessing bra sizes. In general, of course.

by anna at October 15, 2003 6:52 AM


Women are better with ovens, men are better with grills. Women have better vocabularies, men have better math skills. Women get cold easily, men get hot easily. Women don't sweat and when they do it smells like nectar of the gods. Men are stinky sweaty pigs. Heh heh...

by Linz at October 15, 2003 8:01 AM


women generally smell better because most shave their armpits. and thank god for it.

by lajoie at October 15, 2003 11:57 AM


Wait a minute Linz. I'm currently a dude and I've got a mad vocab. But I can't do simple addition without a calculator. Then again, I own one so so what.

And Lajo I never thought about that but you're probably right. When I was being sexually harrassed throughout the 80s, I didn't reciprocate solely because those bushes under my boss's arms gave me the creeps.

by anna at October 15, 2003 5:07 PM



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