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Find a job, settle down, perhaps you'll even marry

by anna at 06:31 PM on June 19, 2003

So I saunter into my living room covered in paint. I cannot sit down so I just stand there listening to my wife, her ex and my stepdaughter discussing the newest addition to our clan. Yes, the girl is pregnant. Not my wife you silly goose, the stepdaughter. This was the first I'd heard of the joyous news and I found myself at a loss for words. Though we've never been real close, "congratulations" seemed kind of generic and distant. That's what Joe Rogan says to the winner of Fear Factor just before, "Evidently fear isn't a factor for you."

By way of background, one of my first posts had to do with this night owl. I suspect her nocturnal tendencies will serve her well after the baby's born. Except babies sleep about as much as crystal meth users so sleeping all day will become a thing of the past.

Anyway, she's going to be a mom at age 20. She's between jobs and until recently of no fixed address. And while at 1st blush this may seem like a bleak situation in which to start a family, there's a brighter side to the picture. She exudes that unique glow of pregnancy. She seems more grounded and focused than ever before. She's got an apartment she is decorating. And she's involved in a loving, committed relationship with a journeyman electrician.

It's the last thing that warms my heart. See, I believe a college education is vastly overrated. I earned a BS degree and upon graduation my job prospects were: 1) Game Warden, which entails accosting heavily armed, drunken poachers in the middle of nowhere. 2) Drug dealer, which often leads to incarceration and those inevitable episodes of behind bars lovin'. 3) Painter, which paid $7 an hour and might involve falling to your death. I chose painter.

Tradespersons such as plumbers, electricians and assassins don't grapple with that sort of dilemma. Nor are they subject to the whims of a given market like thousands of laid-off dot-commies. And wherever they may roam, steady work is readily available. There's always leaky faucets to fix, houses to rewire and people that need killing.

Plus, physical work begets real muscles, not those grotesque physiques borne of countless grueling hours spent sweating in the gym. And blue collar workers enjoy the satisfaction of an honest day's work well done, unlike office workers mired in the shifting sands of office politics.

That's why I implore all young people to forgo college in favor of plying a trade, preferably union. You'll never be rich but you will live comfortably.

So what does this make me, anyway---a step-grandpa? And speaking of convoluted familial relationships, check this out.

comments (6)

I totally agree Anna. Trades are lucrative and you can actually see the fruit of your labor. So many of us never really even know the end result of the convoluted chain reaction we are a part of. Plus sitting down all day is just plain unnatural. My ass hurts.

by Linz at June 20, 2003 2:16 PM

I totally just used "convoluted" because you used "convoluted."

by Linz at June 20, 2003 2:16 PM

I totally think it's better when you use "debauchery" Linz. That's such a cool word.

by anna at June 20, 2003 5:27 PM

Wow, I was consolodating my student loans last week and came to the conclusion that college has got to be one of the biggest rip-offs I have ever been a part of. I should write up a post about it.

by MrBlank at June 20, 2003 5:30 PM


by hey hey hey at June 21, 2003 3:55 AM

physical labor sucks, not just because I am a fatass, but it kills you. it racks your body and makes you die before your time. Only robber barrons think it is man's natural state to work his ass off all day long for someone else to get rich.

for the truth, look to our ancient ancestors. sure, they hunted, they gathered, the sure as shit suffered, but they did only what was necessary for survival. much time was surely spent cavorting, screwing and having fun otherwise we would have died out as a species long ago just because life sucked too much to go on. of course, if longevity is what makes a species successful, we will probably take last place among the hominids. the candle that burns twice as bright burns half as long.

by eff at June 22, 2003 8:46 PM

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