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Ode to a Crack Whore

by effenheimer at 05:09 PM on May 14, 2003

Remember this one, MG?


Ode to a Crack Whore

You're on the pipe and that's alright,
I think I love you crack whore.
No ordinary hooker you,
Give me some sugar, sweet baboo.
Crabs and scabs and rotten crotch?
The sores on your lips, they bother me not.
At 3 A.M. you're on the street,
Who are you waiting to meet?
Why do I love you, I cannot say?
You are wild, impetuous, free and gay.
You'd do anything for some crack,
Supporting your habit on your back.
I can't change you, no need to try,
You don't care if you die.
Your beauty comes from a different aesthetic.
You smoke and drink and wax prophetic,
About life as you see it, dark and seedy,
Lonely, boring, skanky, and needy.

Fast forward: the inevitable heartbreak ...

Spurned and burned, shunned and ignored,
You've left me alone you dirty whore!
What's he have that I don't?
What'll he do that I won't?
He smacks you around and treats you like shit,
I think you deserve whatever you get.
He says he loves you more'n me,
That's not true, he's just horny,
And greedy and dirty and stupid, too!
Ulterior motives for wanting you.
When you're on the street, fucked up and desperate,
Don't come to me to get you out of it.
Been down that road, once or twice, yes,
No more patience to support your vices.
You are a slut and a loser,
Perpetual victim and user.
If I could have whatever I wanted,
It would be you, forever haunted,
Knowing what you passed by,
Just to get laid and get high,
With the crap of the planet.
Kiss my ass, I hate you Janet!

comments (23)

Years back, I took a Crackwhore on probation from 8th ave(43rd), to my place, for a suck or fuck, and she just passed out on the bed. That gave me enough sense to actually check her out. She was nasty. So I put my curious george doll next to her breast, and waited until she woke up. She woke up, because the cg doll was under her back, threw it at the wall, and woke up all Italian mama mia-ish, so I says, here's twenty dollars, for a cab and Mcdonalds. Thanks for the company.

by LOCKHEED at May 15, 2003 6:22 PM

Awarded: 10 for vitriol.

by jean at May 15, 2003 9:11 PM

I do remember this, though I didn't until just now.

For a couple months, that last line, "Kiss my ass, I hate you Janet!" became sort of a catch-phrase around my apartment. Everytime some did something to piss anyone off, they'd yell "I hate you Janet!" It was short lived, but fun.

by mg at May 16, 2003 1:20 PM

Man, this is getting weird, MG. I didn't realize I had been such a big, strange influence on you. I kind of feel like I've been stalked and never knew about it. I think I shall leave with another of my anti-poems since you seem to dig 'em.

by eff at May 16, 2003 5:28 PM

WTF! Once you fall for a crackwhore you could never let her leave. The fact that she still breathes is a testament to the fact you never truly loved her. Crackwhores suck you in (and out and in and out, as the case may be) to their binary world. Desire, betrayal, hepatitis, it's all the same to them, and also to those who love the crackwhore. They may break your heart, but they can't run far, nor can they fight worth a shit. Personally, I stay away from crackwhores, but that's me. I'm not faulting you or anyone else for wanting to stick it in a crackwhore. I wonder which value meal the crackwhore purchased after leaving Lockheed's section 8.

by Joseph at May 29, 2003 2:23 PM

life is what u make it,if those kind of gurls werent around freaks would be on little innocent girls!but bcause of freaks these r how crack hos r made?
everybody needs to experince everything they feel deemed for?
u goota know when to get of the cractrain?but if u have no responsabilities
by all means kill urself!take the best possible way out?

by stone at December 7, 2003 11:49 PM

i once seen a crack whore suck a dogs dick and swallow for a $5 rock

by tndscrt at March 3, 2004 1:57 PM

my girl was pregnant with my son and she was sucking these dudes cocks and letting them fuck her,she ended up getting raped while she was going through all that shit , How can I ever forgive her , how can I make love to her after she was doing all that shit"? by the grace of god I have a beautiful 2 month old son. All for a hit of crack

by kasey at July 23, 2004 2:13 PM

I am a crackwhore name Sissy. I am a slut you love my pussy.
I walk around in my slut clothes. Everyone you sees me knows I blows
I am easy to pick up just ask what's up. I will get in your car n' say let's get fucked up.
Then you are hooked on me a crack addict ho Your life ain't your own no mo.
Something about a girl like me. Makes your head spin and you give me your key.
Soon I am in your life - There ain't no way out.
For either of us you and me and yes I is a crack smokin ho.

by Sissy at October 9, 2004 11:52 PM

whilst your ode to the crackwhore is moving (I shed a tear), these comments are bloody funny.

by wes at November 14, 2004 9:22 AM

When in Houston Texas, call Barbara Cole. She's still well preserved for a crack whore of 42 years of age. She'll do anything for a ht of crack, and loves black cock. 713-862-2347. Tell her "Big Daddy" Presley sent you .

by Big Daddy at December 29, 2004 12:21 PM

Houston's finest! Barbara's Crack House!
Call or drop on it. We have the LARGEST dime pieces in Houston. They're more like $20 pieces...made from the finest Columbian cocaine. We make our own cookies and carry a complete line of stems, brillo (Chor-Boy, the original!). Pyrex glassware custom made. Cheech and Chong (Eric and Victor) delivery service direct to your home within the 713 area code. Barbara Cole is one of Houston's hottest Crack Whores. Buy some crack, then do her crack! Barbara Cole's House of Crack. 3405 North Sheppard Drive, suite 904. 713-862-2347. Fax: 713-990-2821. Conveniently located in 'da hood!. As featured on KRIV Fox 26's "City Under Siege" and "9 O'Clock News."

by Barbara Jane Cole at December 29, 2004 5:18 PM

Barbara Cole's House of Crack
3405 North Sheppard Drive, suite 904
Houston Texas

713-862-2347. Fax: 713-990-2821

Full cookie only $495! Horny dope! Panty dropping crack you won't believe! Sorry, but at this price we cannot deliver. . . drop on in and let's get high. I'll drop my dress for $50.


by Barbara Jane Cole at January 7, 2005 10:01 PM

There use to be crack hores (and young) like CRAZY in the Hunt's Point scetion of the Bronx. If you are ever there, go to Tiffany Street and Longwood Avenue and ask for a Spanish mamita named "Sasha."
She looks like a young Leah Remini ("King of Queens"). Sweet piece of a**.

by Sam at April 19, 2005 4:17 AM

I even have a picture!

by Sam at April 19, 2005 4:19 AM

I live in Ottawa Canada, and I have felt the ravages of the stereo-typical Steet Walking, Dick Sucking, Cook Humping, Ass Fucking, Rock Smoking, Cum Guzzling, CRACK ADDICT... She seemed nice enough at first, I thought, what harm could she really be? But in the End it doesn't really matter, She is a CRACK WHORE.
What a devistating Life Destroying Destructive Waste.
Devastation>>> Etymology: Latin devastatus, past participle of devastare, from de- + vastare Meaning : to lay waste

by Joel Eenkhoorn at May 22, 2005 8:06 AM

i still remember my first one. on the streets of houston, in downtown, around 3 am, i spotted this ragged looking man, of about 40, as i was leaving a bar, he asked me for money for the bus. i told him the bus wouldn't be coming around til in the morning and that's when he said, "i just need a hit, man, that's what i want the cash for." i asked what he would do for $20 and he said anything. Well, i hadn't gotten lucky that night, so i took him back to my place and slid my cock in him. I saw him a few times after that, even once he had a pal, fun times.

by me at June 1, 2005 12:26 AM

I lost my last job because I was fucking this nasty-assed, skanky, crack whore from Clover Leaf. I met her when we went to highschool in the 1980s. She was a nasty fucking slut who sucked a dick in every bathroom the school had. Back then she'd suck any dick for a pack of Marlboros. Now she'll suck any dick for a rock!

I think I love her even though I have a wife and kid. I really don't love my wife like I love my crack-whore lover. I got her a job at my last place of employment, but when we got caught fucking/sucking at work and the fact that I used most of my budget buying her crack I got fired by our new boss. Now I do the same work for a new boss in a nearby city. The crack-whore lover got fired too and now I am going to get her a job her so that we can fuck/suck the day away!

by Trey Kramer at June 5, 2005 7:44 PM

crack whores are thieves.... theyd rather try to steal from you ....i kicked one in the head for ripping me off
another one stole 5 bucks out of my jacket while i was ass fucking her ,,, needless to say i told her ,,, enjoy the five bucks bitch cause thats all im paying you for the ass fuck you thieving cunt

by evilmarky at September 8, 2005 4:24 PM

This is about Sam's comment about Hunt's Point. IT'S TRUE! Well, I don't know about Sasha, but there are so many whores there... hot ones too. Drive by there, u might catch a breast or 2 bouncing around. If ur lucky enough, u might even catch an STD. :) Ciao

by StoogDeluxe at October 9, 2005 1:37 PM

Please remove the personal information and the address listed in the above postings .
The address is not that of the person listed nor is the phone number that of the resident.
The monitor of these post should never have approved this post or allowed it to be presented.
Such post leave the board liable ...

by The Crackwhore Lawyer at November 8, 2005 4:46 AM

im a lil crack whore and my mum is a bigger one

by crackwhore Jr at November 13, 2005 6:28 PM

The person or persons responsible for the information regarding Barbara Cole need to remove the postings from this site. whoever is responsible for this just might be inviting serious legal consequences

by oldawg at November 17, 2005 4:57 PM

comments are closed