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Two Worlds Collided

by anna at 08:41 PM on April 04, 2003

The state of the world today’s got me all introspective and melancholy, which doesn’t suit me well. I hark back to January 2, 2000. The Dow teetered on the brink of 11,000. Clinton had fended off his detractors and remained in power. Debate raged over his relevancy. Survivor was a fresh concept. Y2K fears turned out to be a hoax perpetrated by bottled water and generator companies. Nobody had ever heard of dimpled chad, Osama bin Laden, al-Jazeera, Bushwhacker rifles, mass smallpox vaccines, the Northern Alliance, GPS-guided munitions or posthumous US citizen-soldiers slain in Iraq. It all seems so...quaint now.

Nor could anyone have predicted that before that fateful year was out we’d see the most contentious election in history. Who’d have thought Justice Sandra Day O’Connor would choose our next leader, just as the senile bitch decides everything? Or that our country was so sharply divided that the election could come down to the results in one or two precincts?

Had anyone warned that terrorists were plotting to hijack airliners and crash them into our national landmarks, they’d have been dismissed as crackpots. If they’d even suggested that we’d then link up with dashing cavalry on horseback to oust something called the Taliban in response, men in white coats would have hauled them off to the nut hut.

Likewise, who could have predicted anthrax in the mail, shoe-bombers, snipers picking off citizens at random, dirty bombers, dissident roundups, the revocation of all civil rights, an irrelevant UN, a fractured NATO alliance, the explosion of reality TV or the forcible quarantine of SARS sufferers? All of which has become our new, frightening reality. My guess would be no one.

Just as anybody who predicted that America would invade a sovereign nation to forcibly oust its leaders under any circumstances would have also been brushed aside as a raving lunatic. Yeah right, American assassins prowling the streets of Baghdad, gunning for Saddam and his cronies.

Yet here we are, doing just that---which I am fine with. My only problem is with the operation’s deceptive name. Don’t kid yourselves, no Westerner cared about Iraqi freedom all these years and nobody does now. Why not at least be honest and call it Operation Gut Saddam's Regime?

These are strange and foreboding days indeed. All those giddy high hopes for this new millennium have long since been dashed, never to return. So I fester here in my dank, gloomy bunker, bleary eyes glued to CNN and waiting in dread for the other shoe to drop. And I desperately need someone to blame. Any ideas?

comments (6)

I predicted all of those things. Also that Jennifer Lopez would marry Ben Aflek, divorce him, and then marry Matt Damon all in the period of a weekend. I'm still waiting for that one to happen.

I just did a search of the archives and noticed that "Iraq" has been mentioned in 25 posts here just in the last month or so. Only 7 other mentions in the other 2 years of the site. Interesting.

I guess we worry about what we worry about. In the spring of 2000, I was just about to graduate from college, had already scored a great job, and had a wonderful girlfriend. Yes, the future looked so bright, I had to wear shades. Today, I have to wear a gas mask. Tomorrow, who the fuck knows, but I am pretty positive that it wont suck too bad.

by mg at April 4, 2003 9:06 PM

I'm 100% assured by the Cosmos, that is will get better. I, being a messenger of the Cosmos(which entails all Gods), says such, written such, so it SHALL BE DONE. These things must come to pass... It's okay to feel a little worried, or scared, sorrow, despair, or downright angry... those to will fade in time... In there place... joy, content, happiness, love unconditional, peace, productivity.

by LOCKHEED at April 4, 2003 10:27 PM

Anna, you could blame the Cold Indifference.... and then after some time, God will make this Cold Indifference....WARM. Guaranteed or Lockheed owes you 1.23 million U.S. Dollars. OOPS. I don't have that anymore. I owe 375,000 us dollars to the Chicago Board of Trade. You really think a goddamned 26yr old can get that kinda money to break flat? I have to sell my childhood home now. My Parents aren't too pleased. From middle class to RICHES to RAGS... Lockheed is ShellShocked. But, hey, I still have my friends here at BadSam. That's why I wanted to meet everyone in NYC, before the EVICTION notices come in. Seriously. MG, At the very least, we could have lunch or drinks. Thanks, Sincerely, Alexander Lai

by p.s.LOCKHEED at April 4, 2003 10:37 PM

Well now, I honestly feel encouraged after reading those comments. Maybe I'll emerge from my underground lair and post an innocuous fluff piece. Oh and Lockheed, sorry about the downturn in your finances. But I can't resist mentioning that the markets have totally sucked since the turn of the millennium too. I won't get into the extent of my losses, but it's bad. Real bad.

by Anna at April 5, 2003 8:15 AM

I'd like to point out the economy was headed into the crapper well before January 1, 2000. The inernet bubble had already burst, the air was just being let out slowly. Besides, I'm sure Lock will agree with me that the economy is a cycle. Wait another year or so for things to really hit bottom, invest everything you have, and when the rollercoast heads up again starting around 2006, make sure to get out before it heads down again.

by mg at April 5, 2003 8:33 AM

I'm in, I'm out, I'm long, I'm short... I'm the oil in the freemarket wheel, I'll buy from you, I'll sell to you, heck, sometimes I buy and sell to myself just to get rebates from the CBOT. Yeah, my ivy league education taught me two useful words:
Buy, Sell. and that's period.

by LOCKHEED at April 6, 2003 9:17 PM

comments are closed