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There's History In Your Mansions

by anna at 08:07 AM on February 06, 2003

Guess this site won't be updated anytime soon. LAPD spokesmen allege that "Wall of Sound" producer Phil Spector gunned Ms. Clarkson down in the marble foyer of his posh spread. A limo driver who'd ferried the pair from the House of Blues reported hearing gunshots around 5 AM. Thus it's unlikely an argument could have developed in that short period of time.

Now, should you choose to lead a murderous lifestyle, it's hardly my place to get all judgmental about it. That authority rests solely with God and Dr. Phil. But I am intrigued by this all-too-common happenstance of washed-up celebs O.J.ing their associates. My reasons are twofold. First, I can relate to being falsely accused of such heinous activities. Police once interrogated me about a murder that occured locally. As detectives' tone grew ever more accusatory, I'm thinking: "Dude, I may be a bit of a hothead but I'd never dream of killing anyone." Last I saw of the victim, he was walking away after I'd ousted him from my apartment. He was miffed but very much alive. When they invited me back for a return chat, I told them to fuck off. (The perpetrators were later apprehended, much to my relief.)

Statistics bear out that most citizens share this sentiment. Only 8.3 Americans per 100,000 suffer from homicide, many of which are justified.

I also wonder how these people maintain their lavish lifestyles without working. Robert Blake's star turn on Baretta ended May 18, 1978. Not a peep had been heard from him since, until word of his wife's shooting filtered out. Likewise, Spector's last successful outing was producing the Beatle's Let It Be. How then do they pay their butlers, maids and hookers?

Police have no other suspects in the Clarkson rubout. Nor is this the first time Spector's been implicated in bizarre, violent behavior. He reportedly pulled a gun on Joey Ramone during a recording session. Perhaps Joey failed to harmonize to his liking. Also, his wife says he forced her to tool around town with a blow-up doll of him in the passenger seat of her Bentley.

The 6" tall, 40 year old, bleach blonde victim had appeared in a string of awful movies. (Not to be confused with Bo Derek.) To supplement her meager acting income, she toiled as a "hostess" at said club. Supposedly she'd just met Spector that night. She'd also just finished a screenplay that focused on the sordid behind-the-scenes action in the music industry. The reclusive Spector had once been a major player therein. My theory is that he killed her to adopt the screenplay as his own. After all, who'd be the wiser? Devotees of her website?

Well, here's your chance to play Agent Scully, if you like. Given the available facts, how do you think this lady wound up toe-tagged in the morgue?

comments (23)

The collective silence is deafening.

by Anna at February 6, 2003 6:23 PM

We're waiting for you to post a real pic of yourself.

by Eviltom at February 6, 2003 6:42 PM

Some of us don't care about celebrities. The American cult of celebrity is best dealt with by being ignored.

And the picture thing too.

by ChuckWoolery at February 6, 2003 7:01 PM

Thanks for the celebrity commentary, Chuck Woolery.

by Eviltom at February 6, 2003 7:09 PM

I was wondering what the hell happened with the comments today. It's been deadly silent in here.

As for Phil Specter, Joey Ramone wasn't the only musician he pulled a gun on (John Lennon was another). What's thoroughly more interesting than Phil Specter's wacky firearm hijinks, is that 70 hours of raw tape from the Beatles' Let it Be sessions were recently found. Word is, they will be releasing it, in some format, and we'll finally get to hear the album as it was intended, rather than the Specter version most of the Beatles (Sir Paul especially) loathed.

by mg at February 6, 2003 7:15 PM

It's interesting that this relic could still be considered a "celebrity," which was my point. It's like calling Liz Taylor an "actress." The pix matter has arisen before. It will be rectified. As for Let It Be, it struck me as austere. Spector was big into overblown production, I think. But I would love to hear those sessions.

by Anna at February 6, 2003 8:52 PM

Well, there is a reason why Blake's story has faded, but OJ was huge. At the height of his fame, was an amazing athlete. Blake was a mediocre actor. While Specter was a phenomal producer (his contribution to music goes largely unnoticed by anyone not associated with music), I don't think his story is going to be big either. OJ also had a slow news years going for him, and that whole angry black guy/white wife angle. Everything I've heard about Specter has been more along the lines of "well, he finally killed someone" rather than the shock that he killed someone. Plus, you know, there's that whole impending war deal occupying a lot of people's minds.

by mg at February 6, 2003 9:11 PM

I have no idea who Clarkson is or Specter, never heard of them. And yeah, the silence has been deafening lately. Maybe BadSemite needs that ol' controversial flame ignited again. Whenever you need to pull out that secret weapon, MG, Lockheed will be there for you. Let's start by saying, I just say Gilbert Godfrey at Carolines. It sucked. Godfrey is a....

by LOCKHEED at February 6, 2003 11:19 PM

Eviltom, you have a point.

A ignore celebrities comment from someone using the pseudoym of a celebrity (only sort of, after all he just hosted bad game shows)

I use that name because it has a amusing ring to it.... I think I will have to come up with another handle that also has an amusing ring to it, but without the celebrity overtones.... hum...

by ChuckWoolery at February 7, 2003 3:44 AM

No, Chuck, nooo. Next to Douchenation, who's been rather conspicuous in his absence/silence of late, yours is the coolest screen name I've seen.
Incidentally I think the real Woolery still stirs on Love Connection but I could be wrong.

by Anna at February 7, 2003 7:55 AM

I read somewhere that Brian Eno said that peopleís fascination with celebrity crime isnít shallow or pointless. Itís a contemporary way for people to analyze moral issues.

The media blitz on these crimes are allowing everyone to gossip and talk about moral topics they wouldnít normally speak of and maybe result in people learning something from it.

Personally, I canít give two shits about Mr. Spectorís temper tantrum, but I do find it interesting that just a few days ago this blog was all about empathy for the deceased and now itís about wanting to know how a blond, actress died and wondering if it was justified. Even in death sheís playing a role for our entertainment.

by MrBlank at February 7, 2003 10:00 AM

Ah, I think the attitude with my last comment stems from my distaste for the murder mystery where you take the untimely death of some person and turn it into cheap dinner party entertainment. That and Iíve been really pissed off lately.

by MrBlank at February 7, 2003 10:07 AM

Mr. Blank, I am confused. Do you agree or disagree with Eno?

I mean, that's a pretty way to explain away people's fixation on strangers that sing and act, but maybe he should just stay a stranger and keep making the neato music. (a la Another Green World, preferrably.)

Anna, really, if you just posted your eyeball as a pic it would be preferable to the current picture. Unless, as you once claimed, you have a deeper explanation for portraying yourself as a woman in a burqua. Not that bad samaritan is the epitome of good taste, mind you. I just wonder why this, of all things?

by Linz at February 7, 2003 12:00 PM

I don't know who Lana Clarkson was but there was a story about this incident on Prime Time (or 20 / 20) I still didn't recognize her although she looks a bit like Michelle Pfiefer.

I must live in a bubble!

by Crayzee at February 7, 2003 12:41 PM

For those of us smart enough to take the time and study philosophy and morality celebrity crime IS shallow and pointless. We have progressed passed that.

So, I think Eno's point is that if it weren't for celebrity crime most folks wouldn't even think about moral issues until they are forced to.

Do I think that we should cover these crimes? I don't know. I tend to think that any positive results from it will be overshadowed by the entertainment value. Wasnít there a Law and Order show that used footage of real trials? To me that is disgusting, taking someoneís real-life tragedy and use it to entertain the masses.

Maybe itís better to stay shallow ignorant when it comes to morality. The more I think about it and the more I learn the more angry and disappointed I become with the world. Maybe thatís why God seems to be so recluse. Knowing everything probably makes you depressed.

As for Enoís idea, Iím on the fence. Heís a weird guy.

by MrBlank at February 7, 2003 12:53 PM

I find the picture of Linz as the one that I prefer. Of course that has something to do with her being young and blond I'm sure. I've always liked pictures of women when they are leaning forward. Must be something to do with the way their .... um... hair hangs.

Yeah that's it.

Anna, I guess I'll keep the name for now. Love Connection? ok that sounds right, I haven't had a TV in around 2 years, so I'm not all that familar with most tv shows these days...

by ChuckWoolery at February 7, 2003 12:55 PM

I was going to kill somebody but then a celebrity did it, so I realized it was wrong.


Everyone faces moral issues. That's faulty logic, to me, like Eno's trying to take what looks like a crappy trend (people's obsession with stars) and give it depth (oh! it makes us understand morality).

Mr. Blank... so what do you do now? Sit around and feel bad about it and waste whatever time you have here or go out and try to somehow leave your mark? (and I'm not talking about what Eviltom left on the carpet at mg's...) I pose this question to myself every day, by the way. And then, suddenly, I've wasted another day thinking and not acting.

by Linz at February 7, 2003 1:38 PM

I thought you were supposed to think before you act.

Watching the celebs doesn't make anyone understand anything. All it does is get people to THINK and TALK about these issues (which isn't exclusive to murder).

Take for instance the Wynona Rider shoplift thing. Her getting caught and put on TV probably wonít stop someone from shoplifting, but it might get someone to think about why she did it. Shoplifting is wrong, but is it just as wrong if itís to study a part for a role? This kind of thought might lead to tougher questions: How wrong is it to steal food if you are starving? What if your mother is dying and the medicine to save her life is too expensive? Is it OK to steal then? This is what I think Eno was talking about.

by MrBlank at February 7, 2003 2:26 PM

Mr. Blank, I thought long and hard before posting this. Certainly I didn't want to make light of this lady's unfortunate demise, epecially after I saw her site. (Speaking of sites, I've been digging yours.) As for the morality issue you raise, I totally agree. Remember the whole debate about "jury nullification" after 12 insane jurors set O.J. free? Lastly, the pix deal will be put to rest ASAP. And yes Linz, it was a dumb idea to begin with.

by Anna at February 7, 2003 7:12 PM

Why not change it now? What's wrong with sending mg a replacement right now? ASAP has been a lingering question mark for months now.

by Linz at February 10, 2003 4:33 PM

It's done. Has it really been months? How time flies when you're having fun.

by Anna at February 10, 2003 7:48 PM

this guy phil is a very interesting nut. i think the combination of the alcohol he drank that night along with perhaps the medication he had been taking triggered it off.

by wiiliam at February 11, 2003 8:57 PM

Willim, agreed. After I posted this I read that he suffers from inner demons and takes meds to combat them. But he doesn't think he's schizophrenic, just bipolar. Oh well, at least he's never alone.

by Anna at February 11, 2003 9:04 PM

comments are closed