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effenheimer

Michael Jackson: Judas Goat

by effenheimer at 01:27 PM on February 11, 2003

I believe in evil. I always have. The thing about evil I believe above all else is that most people don’t comprehend that it is more pervasive and more routine than we think. There is casual evil in the world as well as the big obvious stuff.
We are thick creatures. We like to be hit over the head with evidence so hard it could support a skyscraper and so obvious it could play on daytime television.

We cannot comprehend evil when it doesn’t look and smell like the image of evil we keep in our heads. If the devil were to show up on our doorstep with pretty blue eyes, blond hair and a surfer boy cleanliness about his lean 6-foot-2 frame, we would let him into our homes eagerly, unable to see him for what he is. We are far too easily taken in by appearances.

I’d like to say this is just a parable, but I actually had a friend like this in junior high and high school. In retrospect, he was a sociopath. He once posed to me a moral question that was so unspeakably evil in nature that I cannot explicitly repeat it here in the pages of this family publication.

Awwww FUCK IT!

This pretty boy most everybody loved for his clean appearance and blonde hair and sweet blue eyes once asked me the following question: if you were driving down the road and you came upon a car accident and got out to check and it was Cheryl Ladd and she was dead, but only JUST dead like still warm and she wasn't messed up or anything and no one was around and no one was gonna find out... would you fuck'er?

I said no and recoiled in horror. Pretty boy said: I would! C'mon man it's Cheryl Ladd!

Well, technically it's not any more since her soul left her fuckin' body you freak!

Yeah but she's still warm!

Who cares, she's dead! That's sick!

That question was such that no normal, moral individual would have hesitated in their response. Pretty boy and I aren’t friends today and I don’t know exactly where he is, but I’m sure the Vatican is keeping tabs on him in case he turns out to be the anti-Christ.

It’s been said true evil is as pure as innocence. No where is that more clearly evident than in the case of one Mr. Michael Jackson who demonstrated with an unrivaled clarity to millions of Americans last week that he is whacked right out of his skull and steeped in a wickedness that makes me want to speak like a 17th century New England Calvinist minister.

Michael Jackson should be branded with a scarlet “Oh my Lord, stay back 300-feet before this pasty, pointy nosed freak swallows your soul!”

Michael Jackson set off my weird meter before the allegations of pedophilia in 1993, but it was at that point that Jacko’s sway over America began to crumble. He suddenly went from eccentric to criminal to many people and rightly so.
What we witnessed last week should have been the bullet in the brain pan of any last shred of Jacko defending. What I saw was a grown man who could look right into a television camera with his hideously altered face and say that any suggestion that he had plastic surgery was just “stupid and crazy.”

He also said any suggestion that he could ever hurt a child was “stupid and crazy” without blinking. How can we buy that?

Frankly, I think Michael Jackson’s life and concept of morality is so far out of line with the median view held by humanity that he could be doing things at the Neverland Ranch that make Caligula blush and he still wouldn’t think he was doing anything wrong.

At some point, instead of getting upset that people find your behavior odd and possibly illegal, you just have to stop.

Michael Jackson is a weird and trippy cat and that means something coming from a weird, trippy cat like me, but he is beyond the pale and makes the alarms of all sensible people ring like the bells of St. Mary’s.

Michael Jackson is about to become our Judas Goat. We shall imbue him with all our sins and destroy him publicly for his wrongdoing and ours. Afterwards, we shall be cleansed and Jackson will disappear into obscurity. Possibly in Belgium.

comments (13)

Hey, this post mortem loven' happens in Chuck Palahniuk’s new novel "Lullaby". It’s one good fucked-up book.

by MrBlank at February 11, 2003 2:20 PM


I am with ya, Eff. The world is full of fucked up people like that. It's the ones who are secretly fucked up who scare me the most. Like my friend, who on the surface looks innocuous enough, but check out what he said to me just yesterday... He was telling me how he has trouble with flies in his apartment, how he went on vacation for a week and when he came back his apartment is full of these big slow flies who apparently came from some old packages of grain or rice he had in his cupboard. In any case, the flies are driving him crazy for several weeks afterward, refusing to leave even tho the window is wide open, and hey, if you were a fly, why would you leave? It's 4 degrees outside in New York. So over the weekend, one of these plump bastards buzzes in front of his face and he swats at it, his eyes full of rage, his hand dripping with revenge, I could just picture it. He injures the fly, pretty badly too, and it's just laying there, one wing on the the ground, the other, flailing in the air, as if to beg for mercy in the form of a swift end. But no, what does this guy do? He picks up the fly, goes over to the stove, and puts the thing smack in the middle of one of the burners. Then of course, he turns on the stove and laughs and taunts, as his nemesis is suddenly surrounded by a ring of flames. The fly eventually singes from the residual heat, which is probably all the worse for being the slowest death possible.

by Eviltom at February 11, 2003 3:07 PM


Oh my god Eviltom. Would it be scarier if this were true or if it came from inside your head?

Okay, is necrophilia evil? I mean, shouldn't evil... hurt something/someone... living...? But by tentatively posing this question, am I evil? Is Eviltom evil?

by Linz at February 11, 2003 5:06 PM


Eviltom is not evil. Eviltom is good (like ice cream is good).

by Eviltom at February 11, 2003 6:30 PM


I watched the Jackson thing as others rubberneck at gory car accidents. He is indeed a sicko. But to send him to Belgium isn't fair to Belgians. They gave us those yummy Waf-Fulls.

by Anna at February 11, 2003 6:35 PM


Funny you mentioned Belgium, EFF...
About five years ago, I saw Michael Jackson's nephew in Brussels, and he was being surrounded by a bunch of cute dutch girls, asking for autographs. As for your evil friend who posed the necrophilia question, I was eating scrambled eggs while reading that part of the post, and they tasted as good as ever, so does that make me evil, since I didn't recoil from the literature? At least to some degree? Or were they just damn good eggs?

by LOCKHEED at February 11, 2003 7:46 PM


Actually, I'd disagree with you about evil. I think evil is knowing what you are doing is wrong and doing it anyway. Jackson seems to honestly believe he hasn't done anything wrong (forget illegal). That makes him crazy. If he weren't a millionaire, he'd have been hauled into a pysch ward years ago. He needs help, not 60 Minutes specials. I really blame myself, well the royal "myself." As a society, we've really failed Jackson.

by mg at February 11, 2003 10:58 PM


Yeah MG, but that is my point or at least the point made in The Omen III, true evil is as pure as innocence. No one who is really evil THINKS they are evil. Hell, that bastard Hitler didnt think he was evil while he was kill every jew, cripple, homosexual, intellectual and gypsy he could get his hands on, but it is still evil.

I think that knowing what you are doing is irrelevant. In D&D terms – and let's face it, when WON'T D&D terms work – it is the difference between being lawful, neutral or chaotic evil. Jackson is clearly neutral evil because he is like a child who was raised to do bad things. He doesn't honestly believe it is wrong to dangle a baby from a fourth story balcony. He honestly thinks it is OK to sleep with children. That makes him worse, not better.

I think it is possible to be evil and insane and that is what this fruitcake, MJ not MG, is.

I however, blame you as well MG. It is all your fault. If you were capable of meeting MJs needs, he wouldnt be going after children.

PEACE!

by eff at February 12, 2003 11:34 AM


MG is too old for MJ. God help those three young'uns of his.

by Anna at February 12, 2003 6:01 PM


Isn't one of them a girl? She is probably safe.

by mg at February 12, 2003 7:02 PM


Regardless of where were can find evil, I'd have to agree... MJ is a freak!

by Jon at February 12, 2003 9:02 PM


The great Dennis Miller was on Donahue last night. I accidently hit MSNBC instead of SciFi on my remote, it was like providence. He said he isn't convinced Jacko has "closed the deal" but what is disturbing is that even if Jackson is telling the truth, he doesnt see what is wrong with what he admits to doing.

A plastic surgeon who shared office space with MJs plastic surgeon said he thinks Jacko has had at least 50 procedures done on his face. Not a surprise really.

by eff at February 13, 2003 10:19 AM


I think most of the comments about Michael are unfounded. I remember I few years ago I was in a deep depression and his music brought me hope. I think the problem most of us have is with our own morality brought on a fucked up society, thats been christianized to death. If you remember history before the Spanish came the world was pagan. Every culture had sexual practices that would be considered evil today, then it wasn't. Some countries still do. We are so affected by the media, our churches, schools and universities we don't think for ourselves. We are in mind traps. We have to blame someone. Secretly we envy the fame and money, or at least our egos do, which to me rules most of our lives. We created Michael in a sense because we glorify money, power, fame and ego! I don't think its about Michael, the kids or sex, it's about the moral disease and our fucked up idea of what life should be, and our obsession with laws and telling others how to live! We have to impose our values, morals, principles, and laws on others, that's our nature, look at the world we have fucked up! We don't like anything different. Our teachers, schools, parents and church leaders have betrayed us since birth in my view. Our brains rules us and the illusionary world we have created, its our reality and if so then who are the freaks?? who are the real criminals? we can justify it all we want, we are the real hypocrites in my observation. We pass on the virus to our kids!! We are the real liars and manipulators. We don't like it when someone survives, if he had committed suicide when he was young we would have all been happy so we could have the pyscho world all to ourselves, for a short time anyway. George Bush is the real scary one!!! Freemasons scare me more than Michael does! The Prosecutor Sneddon and TV Grace scares me to death more than then all!! We know now that 12 sensible men and womrn saw through the lies of the mother and her son! I feel sorry for the kid! do you condone putting him on the stand! if you do, you are the sickos! The bottom line this was all about the enforcement of morals, morality and ego, mostly ours! it was about maintaining the status quo! it was about racism, prejudice and hatred! so noboby's fooling anybody by the smokescreen and trial that should have never went to court!!! We love the hype, drama and gossip. We thrive on it because we are the wierdos! The sad part is we dont even know it!! we are so caught up in our base consciousness we think its all real!! we are the ones that need help! amen!

by Chris L. Thorne at June 19, 2005 9:33 PM



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