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anna

If There's a Bustle In Your Hedgerow, Don't Be Alarmed Now

by anna at 09:52 PM on February 11, 2003

Wow. The outburst of creativity below is a tough act to follow.

At the office park where I pretend to work while marking time till retirement, they're waging a war against Canadian geese. To trod the parking lot is to navigate a minefield of goose shit. They toddle across the road single file, holding up traffic for minutes on end. And they honk more boisterously than New Yorkers stranded in a traffic jam.

We receive periodic updates on the ongoing battle against this scourge. Management has deployed a variety of desperate measures, all to little avail. Of late they've been reduced to cleaning up the mess left behind and shooing the pests away from the pond that forms the centerpiece of our office park. Seems the fowl foul the once-pristine waters.

So they turned to, and I kid you not, the Geese Police. It's beyond comical to watch as grim-faced women sic border collies on the geese, which respond by honking loudly.

Needless to say, these efforts have all been for naught. Trying to keep waterfowl away from water is like trying to keep Robert Downey Jr. away from cocaine. It isn't going to happen. Worse still, you can't massacre the gaggle because migratory birds are protected by Federal statutes.

They're dealing with a similar problem at the landfill near my mom's house. It's infestested with newly emboldened vultures, which must be the creepiest and most ornery birds alive. Not surprisingly, locals have taken to dumping their trash alongside the road rather than deal with these pushy critters.

Stupid geese, stupid buzzards. D'oh!

comments (11)

THINK ZEN and the art of Goose--(fill in with something witty)---.

-Can't seem to keep the Goose away from the water? ... then keep the water away from the Goose... Dry out the pond, and put a statue of Anna as the centerpiece of the office park, with Arab Veil and all the works.

by LOCKHEED at February 11, 2003 10:06 PM


Where is this fabled "real picture" I keep hearing about? Hummmm?

by Eviltom at February 11, 2003 11:28 PM


I have it. It's my fault. Anna actually got me the picture last month, I've just been too lazy to change it.

by mg at February 11, 2003 11:32 PM


Anything but that! The building where I work is a converted warehouse. It is drab and nondescript. The pond is the only nod to aestetics (sp?) around.

by Anna at February 12, 2003 7:49 AM


The correct spelling is aesthetic or its variant esthetic. You're welcome, Anna. :p

Oh, and MG? Anna's isn't the only long-awaited picture you've been convieniently "lazy" about posting.

by Lucy at February 12, 2003 3:57 PM


Thanks. I hate words like that and anestsesia. They just don't look right.

by Anna at February 12, 2003 5:57 PM


If there's a bustle in your hedgerow,
Don't be alarmed now,
It's just a pring clean for the May Queen,m
Yes there are 2 paths that you can go by,
but in the ling run,
There's still time to change the road your on.

by Killerlamb at April 29, 2004 1:23 AM


If there's a bustle in your hedgerow,
Don't be alarmed now,
It's just a pring clean for the May Queen,m
Yes there are 2 paths that you can go by,
but in the ling run,
There's still time to change the road your on.

by Killerlamb at April 29, 2004 1:23 AM


Listened to Zep for years amd what exactly is a "bustle in your hedgerow"? or a pring clean?

by THe Rickster from the bus at October 22, 2004 11:40 AM


a bustle in a hedgerow is something jumping out of the bushes at you. (acid trip?) and it is : Spring clean time for the may queen. Personally, I am less concerned about the spring clean time and wondering what the hell the may queen is.

by jeff at October 9, 2005 12:46 PM


That particular lyric has a hidden message when played backwards -- Oh yes, its my sweet Satan. The one whose little path would make me sad, whose power is Satan. He will give the people 666. There was a little toolshed where he made us suffer, sad Satan.

So maybe the meaning of the lyric is a kind of gibberish, or at least, weakened in meaning as to allow the hidden message to come through. You can check it out at http://plusultrablog.com/blog/?p=694

by dust at June 10, 2006 4:30 AM



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