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Don't It Make My Brown Eyes Blue?

by anna at 07:08 PM on February 18, 2003

Snowbound for days, I’ve learned the meaning of the term “stir-crazy.” Now were this Siberia, people would shrug it off and set about their mundane, frostbitten lives. But this is far from Siberia. Even flurries constitute Big News here, while a doozey of a storm preempts all other developments. Terrorists could strike anew and they’d take a back seat to school closings, cancelled events, canned shots of cars mired in snow-banks and oft-repeated warnings about the dangers of black ice.

Call it the anti-news. The traffic reporter comes on to report that roads remain deserted. The weatherman says the torrent has tapered off at last, but emphasizes that THERE IS STILL A LOT OF SNOW ON THE GROUND. VENTURE OUTDOORS AT YOUR OWN PERIL. Viewers need TV to tell them what a peek out their window would confirm. Seriously though, it sure is a hoot to hear media droning on and on about what isn’t happening.

Which brings up another matter that’s been gnawing at me of late, namely antimatter. Esoteric science irks me to no end, mainly because my feeble brain can’t begin to comprehend it. When eggheads announced that they’d photographed the birth of the universe, for example, it left me baffled. I guess I’m unable to grasp this whole space-time continuum notion. Same goes for cloning and artificial intelligence. Oh sure, I more or less understand the cloning concept; it’s just that I remain flummoxed by the logistics involved. And if artificial intelligence is here, can artificial stupidity be far behind?

Still, of all the scary developments on the scientific front, I find antimatter the most disquieting. Like black holes, this creepy parallel non-universe brainy people claim is or isn’t out there plain creeps me out. Think about it: When physicists isolate some of this weird non-stuff, what do they have/lack? Not nothing as in a vacuum, but less than zero. It follows that each morsel of antimatter must have its own counterpart here in the more familiar physical realm. In the anti-world, you’ve got anti-ant colonies, anti-anteaters, anti-antipasto, anti-antacids and anti-antiwar banners. Anti-blogs bereft of content, comments and graphics. You click on the link and it kicks you offline.

Unless you happen to be well versed in the vagaries of astronomy, genetics, computer code or physics, you kind of have to take these experts at their word. With all their gadgetry, astronomers really can time-travel. Human cloning and artificial intelligence are realities sure to further complicate our M-lives. Antimatter exists. Or should I say, it doesn’t.

I’m so confused.

comments (8)

It would be an even more interesting and complex study to record what your stream of conscious was when writing this post, Anna. From the mundacity of snow-bitching to wormholes... Stephen Hawkings would stand upright with confoundment and start rapping electronically. And Carl Sagan's corpse would shake rattle and roll, and somehow the image of a basketball rolling along a hot 70's summer inner-city street from 'What's Happening' pops into my mind after popping the pill you just popped.

by LOCKHEED at February 18, 2003 7:48 PM

BAC ='ed .08. But I'm still perplexed by all this. Loved the "What's Happening" imagery.

by Anna at February 18, 2003 9:17 PM

I really, deeply, really, deeply, really, deeply, want to fuck the Jewish girl next door. Sorry I had to use your post for this comment, Anna. I won't do it again.

by LOCKHEED at February 18, 2003 10:04 PM

Why don't you ask her out, then, Lockheed?

I found some interesting info on matter and anti-matter here:

by jean at February 18, 2003 10:27 PM

Lockheed, for the love of God, stay away from that girl. (Email me her phone number. I can make something happen with her.)

by Eviltom at February 18, 2003 10:38 PM

Thanks for the tip, Jean. Lockheed, you've hijacked my post! But it's all good. BTW, what is it w/ you and Jewish girls and Aubrey Hepburn?

by Anna at February 19, 2003 7:23 AM

The way my Physics teacher explained it to me, things can be made up of anti-matter, but if it were to come into contact with matter they would cancel each other out (they would destroy each other)

by Lucy at February 19, 2003 9:30 AM

Oh. But then what would be left?

by Anna at February 19, 2003 7:28 PM

comments are closed