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Bah Humbug!

by muaddib at 04:35 PM on February 14, 2003

I like Christmas rather more than most aspiring curmudgeons, so this phrase never really suits me during its usual season. But Valentine's Day? Too right! To hell with Valentine's Day! I'm fed up with the entire enterprise, and VD only serves to remind me of why.

The world does not need a day dedicated to gooey, irritating public displays of affection. It's all we can do to stamp out such undecorous intrusions on the sensibilities of others on normal days. I'd be all for it if - like the old Roman Festival of Dionysus - it served as a once-a-year outlet for bad behaviour, thereby reducing the overall amount of such nonsense to which the rest of us are subjected. We could just hide under the covers for a day and that would be that. But, no! Not for our self-absorbed, unmannered brethren. Giving over a holiday to it just encourages them all the more.

Dating - blech! I'm up to here with all of it. I'm tired of "getting back on the horse" and trying again because, since I happen to have a Y-chromosome, the responsibility for making the effort falls entirely onto my shoulders. There's got to be a better way to propagate the species. Something orderly and less fraught with disillusionment, discontent, and wastage on my credit card.

There will be no enrichment of Hallmark through the buying of sappy cards today. Nor will Russell Stover pry open my wallet and succeed in guilting me into purchasing any "fat girl candy" assortments. The florists are fresh outta luck. I'm going to spend money today on nothing except vice: Cigarettes, coffee, maybe some ammo (if I drank, I'd buy something especially non-romantic - most likely something bourbon-flavoured - but I don't so someone else will have to).

Ah, what's the use? Screw it.

And, yes, if you were wondering, I did have a date last night.

comments (2)

Amazing... so this...this... is the great Muad Dib, Kwizech Haderach... don't fret, you're strong, you'll make a stand... this fire that burns through the land, you have the power to make it all end. I doubt there's a statistically significant amount of humans born due to Valentine's Day sex, since it's just pleasure sex, and pleasure eating of fat lady candy... but it does help the economy. You did not get play last night did you Muad Dib?

by LOCKHEED at February 14, 2003 5:48 PM

Your posts dumbfound me because they pretty much say it all, which makes it hard to add anything to it. All I will say is that Valentine's Day should be scrapped. Standing in a line with 40 other shmoes clutching their obligatory grocery store flowers and cards today convinced me of that. To say nothing of non-attached people whose mood is only worsened by Hallmark's phony holiday.

by Anna at February 14, 2003 9:09 PM

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