There is a tradition in my family, stretching back to September 6th, 1982, my first day of kindergarten. Each year, on the first day of school, I wear a completely new suit of clothes. That means new shirt, new underwear, new socks, and even new shoes. Every year.
Now, part of that is to always start something new wearing something completely new. I always thought of it as a merely psychological thing, starting a new endeavor without any old shit dragging me down, but as I’ve gotten older I realized that it was probably more pragmatic than all that. Growing up, I’d put so much wear and tear on my clothes over the summer that if my mom had sent me into school wearing any outfit in my wardrobe, the state would have promptly taken me away from her and put me in a home. Looking back, that might not have been such a bad thing – a couple weeks in a foster home and I’m pretty sure I still wouldn’t be a 26 year-old virgin.
Still, I like to pretend that there is a psychological advantage to starting a new school year (and more recently, a new job) with a new outfit, so much so that when I started dressing myself (in my junior year of college) I continued the tradition on my own. Each fall semester began with completely new attire. Sure, during some of those college years I started the year with a mix of clothing that came with the tags still attached and Salvation Army finds, but, hey, if I’ve never worn those bikini briefs before, aren’t they still new to me?
The point is my first class is this morning and I needed to wear something new today.
As Rannie can attest, I’ve enough socks and underwear to last me an entire month without doing laundry or wearing stinky unmentionables (I folded laundry in front of him, get your minds out of the gutter). While I haven’t done any sort of official count, I’m pretty sure there are enough shirts hanging in my closet to get through at least a month, but I’ve only got enough shoes to get me through sixteen days without lacing up the same set of loafers twice. I’ve only half that many handbags.
The point (get to the point, man!) is that I didn’t need any new clothing. But, if I wanted my undertaking with graduate education to not end up a complete waste of time I needed some new clothing. When I came out of my shopping induced coma, I found that I’d apparently needed two new pairs of pants, three new shirts, three sets of boxer briefs, and six pair of socks.
At this very moment, I should be heading out the door, making sure I’m not late to my first class. Instead I’m frantically running around my apartment deciding what to wear (and writing this stupid entry). Now, I know the indecision about what to wear isn’t over the decision to wear anything. It really isn’t. Three shirts and two pants only yield six different combinations. Just wait until those items make it into my regular rotation and the decision I have to make is between 162,000 outfit combinations (counting shoes and jackets); that’s when things will get tough.
No, my indecision has more to do with being nervous about starting something new. It’s been a long time since I’ve had anything completely new in my life and I’m more than a little bit scared. But, I’m not too scared – I’m wearing clean underwear. How do I know they’re clean? Because they’re brand new.
Ah crap, time to run. Wish me luck.
I’m also wearing new slacks. Which probably doesn’t need to be said, since slacks should, by any reasonable individual, be included under the umbrella term of “outfit.” Still, I really just wanted an excuse to say “slacks” and couldn’t easily work it in anywhere above.
Me and my slacks really need to go now.
by mg at January 18, 2003 8:19 AM
1 You don't need luck with all those handbags. 2 The reason school kids get a new wardrobe each Fall is parents' fear that their offspring will be teased over their shabby attire. It's a retailer's dream come true.
by Anna at January 18, 2003 8:40 AM
Extremely festive underthings, mg. I believe those will gaurantee that if, god forbid, something happens to you, the nurses in the emergency room will be entertained.
by jadedju at January 18, 2003 10:58 AM
You have to go to school on a saturday? That, IMHO, sucks. I'm sure you'll do just fine mg.
by Lucy at January 18, 2003 11:12 AM
Aw, don't worry ! You'll be fine!
Sounds like a "mom" thing to say :) but someone had to say it.
Nice underwear. will you be sharing pics of the rest of your wardrobe?
by Crayzee at January 18, 2003 11:59 AM
i'm curious to know what that is peeking out from your boxers there?
ps: nice bellybutton.
by sicksider at January 18, 2003 12:27 PM
I'm sure no one will like you. I bet you ate lunch by yourself. Ha!
by Eviltom at January 18, 2003 6:57 PM
Those look a lot like boxers from the Gap.
(sad when i also know the patterns of their men's stuff..)
by leaffin at January 20, 2003 9:17 AM
Those are from Gap. After Christmas sales rock. Good eye Leafy.
Class went fine. Going to be a lot of work. I'm thinking I'm going to be spending a lot of time studying, which is, I suppose, better than spending a lot of time watching Price is Right.
by mg at January 20, 2003 1:33 PM
by Linz at January 20, 2003 5:19 PM