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Mel Blanc Is Rolling Over in his Grave

by anna at 04:20 PM on December 24, 2002

Okay, groceries replenished and hovel recleaned in preparation for the next influx of quarrelsome relatives. Box- wine in plastic cup. Snow falling. Time to post.

In a sign of how far my disease has progressed, the 1st thought that popped into my mind when my son turned me on to this was: blog fodder.

Yes, it's a politically correct Looney Tunes for these pathetic Zeros. I'm surprised it's not called Emotionally Challenged Tunes. In this parallel universe, Sylvester is no longer Tweety Bird's tormentor. They're fast friends, as are all the revamped characters. I'm going to be violently ill.

In the 1st vignette, Tweety is flustered by a jack-in-the-box. His pals devise a plan to help boost his flagging self-esteem. With Bugs Bunny no longer a wily, self-centered manipulator but a rather benign facilitator, they script a play w/ Tweety cast as the unlikely hero. When the castrated Tasmanian Devil pops out of a box, Tweety summons the courage to jump up on it and push him back in.

Next the cohesive gang decides to venture outdoors for some healthy exercise. Ah but there they encounter an obstacle in the form of a large mud puddle. In olden times, Bugs would have duped his mates into laying prostrate in the puddle to form a bridge for he alone to traverse. No more. After much deliberation they collectively elect to stage an Olympics-style competition that is anything but. @ one point the Tasmanian Devil is glimpsed on a Big Wheel sporting a bicycle safety helmet. He's placed a ramp on the puddle shore, from which he hopes to jump it Evel Knievel-style. A plan foiled when Bugs discovers the ramp and moves it lest anyone trip over it. Safety first, don't you know.

Suffice it say a variety of benign, inoffensive hi jinks ensue. None of which entail an anvil coldly dropped on rivals from cliffs. And although Bugs clearly presides, he's been stripped of all his endearing personality traits. As has his formerly morose colleague Daffy Duck, who's been transformed into an affable nothing.

Speaking of that wiseass rabbit, they've invented a new character. It's an empowered female version of Bugs who looks like him were he a transvestite. Like Daffy Duck, she's also sweet as can be, without a malicious bone in her body. There's a kindly grandma who fixes the Tasmamian Devil's damaged Big Wheel as well.

Dating back as far as The Odd Couple or even The Honeymooners, conflict has always been a critical element of televised comedy. But again, no more. Now a sanitized cast o' morally upstanding dogooders can put on a one-big-happy-family charade (as many of us find ourselves doing this time of year) and it passes for entertainment.

The fact that this abomination exists at all let alone lures viewers can't bode well for the future of cartoons. What's next, Homer Simpson giving up Duff Beer and joining Alcoholics Anonymous?

Pity the children who must abide this drivel.

That's all folks!

comments (7)

Has anyone noticed the Keebler elves have been politically corrected? I don't know when it happened, but there are now Black, Asian, and Hispanic elves in the tree in addition to the old one. THEY ARE ELVES! Is this necessary? How does the advertising company even know there are different races of elves? Furthermore, I thought they were a family of cookie-makers living in a tree. If this is the case, how could it be so multi-racial? Ridiculous.

by douchenation at December 24, 2002 7:11 PM

No I hadn't noticed that as I can't watch TV anymore. But it doesn't surprise me. As for the post itself, it seems lonesome. Please comment.

by Anna at December 24, 2002 10:18 PM

really wanted to post something good, but since i'm at childhood home for the holidays, and using a dial-up, my folks keep coming around the back the computer and peeking, and I keep telling them, its not fucking porn, if I wanted porn, I'd stay in NYC and waste money on russian call girls. So, I won't be able to post for a while, although, my two cents is as such: The day Tom stops chasing Jerry, is the day Sharon and Arafat stop being dicks.

by lockheed at December 24, 2002 10:34 PM

I agree. The level to which over-stated equality and political correctness are slowly taking cartoons and television is quite sad to this child of the 80's who can do nothing but enjoy the bygone days of Beavis and Butthead, Wren and Stimpy, G.I. Joe and the like, and take solice in the small attempts at keeping cartoons funny like adult swim on cartoon network and Invader Zim by Jhonen Vasquez. I can only hope this is a societal phase and will pass in due course like disco, beta-max, the 8 track, y'know only faster Please

by Aziraphale at December 26, 2002 1:34 AM

Actually, Homer already got sent to AA in this episode:

by Shar at December 26, 2002 1:12 PM

Shar, thanks. Anna's research arm is woefully negligent. Guess I should have known though. D'oh.

by Anna at December 26, 2002 6:18 PM

I think you need to lighten up!
I can see you have no laughter in your life.

Get a grip!

by G at June 26, 2003 2:48 PM

comments are closed