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effenheimer

Aliens want our women

by effenheimer at 03:03 PM on December 03, 2002

Ah, the holidays. To me the holidays are about one thing. Well, two things if you count gravy, but gravy is a constant; like oxygen, it should always be there when you need it. Oh sweet gravy, is there anything you can’t do?

Where was I? Oh yeah. The holidays are a special time because while the networks are busy running “It’s Chanukah, Charlie Brown,” “Rudolph’s Shiny New Kwanzaa” and edited versions of Rankin Bass classics, cable channels like A&E, History, Discovery, SciFi, TLC, The Travel Channel and even, occasionally, The Food Network counter with a variety of offbeat programming that includes UFO documentaries; some of which are even credible.

I don’t really care what people think, UFO documentaries are cool because no matter what the truth is, there is a cultural phenomenon of great interest here.

Either way, we will see who is laughing when those little grey bastards come down here to screw our women, eat our faces and take our fucking jobs. And don't tell me aliens only do the jobs Americans don't want to do in the first place because I know plenty of Americans who would be more than happy to mutilate cattle and stick probes up peoples butts for the right money.

comments (5)

Yeah, they made a TV show and a movie about those kind of people, it was called Jackass.

Also, it's December 3, and they've already shown every single holiday special, from Charlie Brown to It's a Wonderful Life. I'm ready for the President's Day claymation now.

by mg at December 3, 2002 10:13 PM


Speaking of little grey men reading our minds and probing our butts, have you been watching “Taken” on the Sci-Fi channel? It’s not bad but I think this whole UFO thing is a bit over done. It’s almost its own genera — westerns, science fiction, horror, UFO abduction. Oh well, its better than watching that NBC show “American Clichés”.

by MrBlank at December 4, 2002 11:17 AM


i've been watching taken, its kind of the disney version of the x-files, a little disappointing. i would agreet that UFOs are becoming their own genre. non fiction science fiction. ie regardless of the ACTUAL truth, this stuff is as real as leprechuans, bigfoot, fairies... they are legends, considered to be real by someone at some time. whereas genuine fiction is totally made up from start to finish and no one questions that, aliens have that buzz of the real. personally, i think its real, aliens are here and can do whatever they want with us and we are at their mercy.

by eff at December 4, 2002 4:16 PM


I think the "Taken" deal on Sc-Fi is a diamond in the dismal TV rough. As for our women, let the aliens do with them as they will. Just leave the gravy.

by annna at December 4, 2002 6:34 PM


well, they have only SIXTEEN more hours to improve. damn, ten part minisires, what were they thinking. Of course, in a miniseries of this magnitude, anything can happen. at this stage of the game, i am not overly impressed with all I've seen, but it does have some good moments. When that kid Jacob fried those dude's minds, that was awesome. I really, really hope that Major what's his name dies in some horrible fashion. he is kind of a prick.

i think the little girl doing the narration is really good, that stuff is so well scripted and performed it almost makes two hours of disney-fied X-files non action worth it.

I wanted more realism. I thought it was going to be a kind of history ficiton, you know, more real stuff, less BS, at least until the end when spielberg would get all ET, Close Encounters of the Third Kind on us.

as for gravy... gravy is the only gift that keeps on giving. you can always make gravy but women are secial and unique creatures. you can't just make more of them... oh wait. you CAN but you need a woman to do that. for gravy it's just oil, flour, stock, milk, a few herbs and voila! pure magic. gravy isn't crazy. gravy doesn't accuse you of cheating on it with the biscuit. gravy loves you unconditionally.

by eff at December 4, 2002 7:51 PM



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