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Night Owls

by anna at 11:13 AM on November 23, 2002

I'm fairly certain my stepdaughter has moved back into our humble hovel. My basis for this sneaking suspicion being threefold: 1) I've spotted her car parked in our driveway on four recent morns. 2) Copious quantities of food have disappeared overnight. 3) Last night I fell asleep on the sofa. Only to be rousted by the bustle of several vampires hastening to turn in before the dreaded dawn did break.

To say she's a stranger to sunlight would be an understatement. Elvira, Mistress of the Dark spends more time outdoors in the daytime.

Having grown out of that petulant 12-15 phase, she's always welcome here. Although it does present somewhat of an inconvenience when I have to vacuum around her prostrate form. I've often wondered whether she'd awaken were her locks to be violently sucked into the contraption.

It's a top-of-the-line Panasonic MCV-7358 purchased when the frightfully intense proprietor of a local vacuum store told me that parts for my ailing Phantom had grown scarcer than a dollar coin. This guy, who speaks with a clipped Israeli accent and has amassed an encyclopedic body of knowledge in regard to vacuum cleaners, informed me that the Panasonic boasts two 12-amp motors, all metal parts and a hypo-allergenic hepa filter. He invited me to place my hand on the nozzle and switched it on. At once he flashed a maniacal smile as it wrenched my arm from its socket. "Anyone in your household got asthma," he asked. "No, except for maybe my vampire stepdaughter," came my wary reply. "Well, if they did your hypo-allergenic hepa filter would be indispensable. Removes 30% more airborne dust particles and mites than any comparable model," did he confide. Thus did I acquire a $275 "cleaning machine" (his term.)

So we've got sparkling clean carpets, less mites and a mystery boarder. All is well. Now if I could just figure out how to insert my Elvira hyperlink.

comments (2)

About the hyperlink, I use the following: YOUR WORD HERE

Just eliminate all the in-between spaces.

by Lucy at November 23, 2002 4:42 PM

hmmm....I think if I were you I'd put at least half as much research into the vampires as I did into my vacuum cleaner specs.

by nancy at November 23, 2002 6:16 PM

comments are closed