« war has shattered many a young man's dreams, made him disabled, bitter, and mean | Main | just hold me tight and tell me you'll miss me »
how not to shake off a pesky cold, in seven easy lessons
by mg at 02:22 PM on October 16, 2002
1. Friday: Decide to leave work early so you can get home and rest. Instead, leave work early and walk three miles in a big circle around lower Manhattan for two hours in the rain.
2. Saturday: Lay in bed all weekend, mind working so foggily that you don’t recognize the relationship to being cold, having the windows open, and not wearing a shirt.
3. Sunday: Go to a concert that starts at 10 p.m. Stay until you are sure there won’t be a second encore, just short of midnight. Get in fight with girlfriend while standing outside Bowery Ballroom, in rain. Finally get home, so exhausted you fall asleep in your smoke drenched clothes (including coat). Wake up four hours later and go to work.
4. Monday: Actually do work at work.
5. Tuesday: Actually do work at work again, not leaving until 7. Get home and manage, despite insomnia, to fall asleep almost instantly (well, right after Buffy). Get call from Rannie at 11:30 p.m., letting you know he made it safely across the Canadian border. Don’t fall asleep again until after 2 a.m.
6. Wednesday: Forget to eat breakfast or lunch, instead eat exactly and approximately 37 mini Hershey’s Dark candy bars.
7. Arrange late night events every day for the next week and a half. Plan not to sleep any time soon.
comments (10)
OK, how do you eat exactly and approximately 37 mini Hershey's Dark candy bars? And why? Dark chocolate ... eww.
by MrBlank at October 16, 2002 3:11 PM
Anyone who can't understand the bliss and evasive mathematics of dark chocolate is beyond help.
by Linz at October 16, 2002 3:18 PM
Mini Mr. Goodbars all the way.
by MrBlank at October 16, 2002 5:29 PM
I totally agree with myself and Linz; I like my chocalate bars like I like my women, dark and miniature.
by mg at October 16, 2002 5:45 PM
Um, "girlfriend"?? When did you upgrade her?
by Chris at October 16, 2002 10:57 PM
Just like mg, trying to slip that one by us.
by Eviltom at October 16, 2002 11:00 PM
I wasn't trying to sneak anything in; it's just easier and more dramatic to say "girlfriend" than "girl I'm dating," don't you think?
by mg at October 17, 2002 8:59 AM
Can I add a number eight to your list?
8. Make sure that the freakin' building you work in is always kept at a temperature on the warm side of refrigeration.
*chatter*
N-n-now, what about this g-g-girlfriend?
by Linz at October 17, 2002 9:27 AM
You know I've only got eyes for you Linz.
by mg at October 17, 2002 10:02 AM
Nuh uh, you're not slipping by on this one. I submit: if you are fighting in public, she's a girlfriend!
by Chris at October 17, 2002 10:07 AM