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Goose the Force, Luke!

by goose at 02:16 AM on October 30, 2002

There are bits of writing popping up all over this miracle of a website, but I have a petty and stubborn need to distance myself from that whole scene. I suppose itís only a technicality.

My fifth grade teacher had enough nerve to declare straight to my face that when I grew up, I wasn't rocketing to Mars. Egad no, I was going to accomplish something respectable with my life. "You're going to be a WRITER," she spat.

So to spite her for that blasphemy centuries ago, I'm going to do the Bad Samaritan deal under my usual pseudonym "goose." Aside from holding the undisputed title of sexiest animal in the kingdom, geese are remarkably ill equipped for graceful operation of a keyboard. No fingers and a big beak - perfect. That'll show the elementary infidel.

Still, sometimes I miss her gold star stickers. In fact, I see no reason why the stars or some sort of hand-stamp system shouldn't be continued throughout the university level. Graduating summa cum laude? Congratulations, that's three stickers on your forehead.

Sigh. Between school and Samaritanism, I foresee that much healthy sleep will be lost and a challenge to recover. Thatís right, sleep for me will be like Russian submarines.

As it stands now, Iím stricken with a form of narcolepsy. I involuntarily stumble into short term comas due to the most exciting of stimuli, like two-hour engineering lectures, or when I go to bed at night. It's one of the more common manifestations of narcolepsy, I'm told.

I canít wait until I get my wisdom teeth the hell out next month, so theyíll gas me.

comments (4)

Believe it or not, you get more sleep in college then you will out in the real world. Something about having so much free time in the evenings makes it so much easier to waste time in the evenings doing things other than sleeping. And it's a lot tougher to blow of work than it is to blow of your morning classes.

by mg at October 30, 2002 10:34 AM

Blow off morning classes...hey, there's an idea.

by Dan the Goose at October 30, 2002 12:17 PM

Keep preachin' mg! I am so tired all day, but I miraculously wake up at about 5 p.m. and that doesn't wear off until the midnight to 2 am region. Repeat cycle. Except on weekends, when I stay up til about the time that I am supposed to wake up during the week. My poor, abused circadian rhythms.

My dentist just told me that I don't have to get my one wisdom tooth out. (That's right; apparently I am destined to have 33 teeth) I'm kinda sad to miss out on the gassing.

by Linz at October 30, 2002 12:21 PM

Or, if you are a "good student" and actually want to get your money's worth (or your parent's money worth) by actually "going to classes" you can always do what I was able to do my final two years in school - don't schedule a class before noon. I'd still wake up at 9 to watch the morning cartoons, recover from the night before, and do the reading/homework I didn't have time for because of all the drinking.

by mg at October 30, 2002 12:33 PM

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