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We have shrinkage!!

by northstar at 05:39 AM on March 09, 2002

With the youth of our nation seeking out stranger and more “extreme” sports with which to risk their necks, I offer you, dear reader, a head start on what is sure to be the next Olympic medal sport. Yes, that’s right, we’re talking about Co-Ed Naked Bungee Jumping. As of right now, the sport has only a small but devoted following in rural British Columbia. Canadians dominate the fledgling sport, perhaps because they’re the only ones loony enough to make the trek to Nanaimo, BC during the dead of winter.

This being an extreme sport, there are, of course, risks involved. According to one male devotee, "The shrinkage factor is high up here.” No doubt. Consider the advantages, though. It’s very easy to determine what condition your competitors are in, because, frankly, all you see is their condition.

Currently, Naked Bungee Jumping consists of two events: the aforementioned Co-ed Naked Bungee Jumping, and the Singles competition. Most of the true talent in the sport gravitates towards Co-Ed, because, well, jumping with a naked member of the opposite sex is a hell of a lot more fun. Singles jumping is usually dominated by guys who can’t get dates or find naked women willing to jump with them. Accordingly, Singles competitors tend to be some of the "edgier” types among the sport’s aficionados, their training consisting solely of Dungeons & Dragons marathons.

Rumor has it that Co-Ed Naked Bungee Jumping may become a demonstration sport in the 2012 Olympics, which coincidentally may be held here in Houston. Remember, kids, EVERYTHING is bigger here in Texas (if you know what I mean), and there will be no hiding it then. Perhaps I could convince my wife that if we start training now...nah, she'll never go for it. She always was the smarter one.

In the meantime, one can only hope that this pristine young sport will not be corrupted by money, crass commercialism, and judging scandals. The Canadians will likely still dominate, and if Jamie Sale and David Pelletier can be convinced to compete, millions of horny guys will finally be able to achieve their dream of seeing Jamie Sale naked- and they can stop coming to my site looking for pictures.

comments (4)

Is it just me, or shouldn't every sport be co-ed and naked?

by mg at March 9, 2002 1:08 PM


by northstar at March 9, 2002 7:21 PM

I recall, back in the halcyon days when I had cable, seeing a show on HBO about sex (surprise suprise). One of the segments was about a women's soccer leauge, that played all of their games topless. They focused on the Brazilian team (I think), and, despite what you might expect, they were a bunch of serious lookers.

by mg at March 10, 2002 1:44 AM

Co-ed Naked Ninjitsu:
You'll never see us coming.

by quicksilver at March 11, 2002 5:49 PM

comments are closed