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effenheimer

more now, save it for later

by effenheimer at 01:35 PM on March 15, 2002

short story long, I'm on the phone with "the woman" and she is in bed just calling me while she tries to go to sleep. I don't get that. Just go to sleep and leave me alone. Well i guess my job was to talk to her and waste my cell phone minutes until she passed out. as you can well imagine, left on my own to rant i started bitching about whatever suits my fancy until she challenges my rant. "How do you know? you do tend to be awfully hard on people...blah blah blah."

so i gave here three good reasons to support my rant which i wont go into here, suffice it to say she irritated me by challenging explain WHY i felt the way I did about my own personal business. Then I asked her if shewanted any more proof that I knew what the hell i was talking about.

Apparently she felt cowed because she gave me some weak "ok, all right, don't get mad" business and then started in with the silent treatment. I decided if she wanted silence she could have that without my waiting on the other end fo the line. "Well, i guess I'll talk to you later." it is my experience that the ladies don't like it when you arent willing to talk for four hours until they feel comfortable going to sleep after what was surely the most minor of tiffs.

was all i heard. not "bye" not "good night" just

screw that. hang up on me will you? go talk to your cat you big-headed old maid. i then spent an hour and a half on the phone with my buddy Jocelyn screwing around and having a good time talking about things that interst both of us. I like my friends, I don't mind being alone. I hate cutesy nonsensical baby talky love me love my cat relationship BS.

I'm sure she expected me to call her back and aplogize, but forget it. I dont like play games. I dont like being made to wait weeks and weeks for just the first kiss so some woman I wouldnt have for a friends tests me to see if I am boyfriend or marriage material before we have any kind of fun. "Want to go out?" I would ask. "No let's just stay in and watch a movie." yeah, like I couldnt do that on my own.

I am not afraid of intimacy so much as I am repulsed by it. I want a best friend THEN a lover. This is not a job, it is life and it is getting shorter every day. I don't have time to waste on people who see me as raw material for the relationship gristmill. Do I have areas I could stand to improve? No doubt. But I determine what those are, not some woman i just met a month ago.

Don't tell me my depression, the source of my writing and the dysfunciton i control just fine on my own thank you, should be completely eradicated by smiling more and writing less. writing is the only thing keeping me sane, baby.

I'm free, to do what I want. Any old time. Love me, hold me. Love me. Hold me, cause I'm free!

comments (8)

I couldn't agree more, about everything. Except for the whole procreation thing, I sometimes think God meant us all to be homosexuals. Men and women were just not meant to live together, in close proximity, for long periods of time. We just want such different things and live our lives so differently. Damn it, if I have nothing to say, I'm not going to sit there and force myself to talk to you! You know, it'd be nice if you could apologize to me sometimes, I can't always be the one who is wrong. And, are getting flowers and candy really as important being someone you can be comfortable and hang out with for the rest of your life? Sex is great, but, what even if you have sex 2-3 four times a day, that's only like 7 minutes out of 24 hours. Isn't all that other stuff just as important? Love me. Hold me.

by mg at March 15, 2002 3:59 PM


For some of us, that would by 8 minutes out of 24 hours, thankyouverymuch. sometimes... even 9 whole minutes!

by Tom at March 15, 2002 7:18 PM


This is lame. Post something interesting.

by ?! at March 15, 2002 10:52 PM


As soon as I start taking creative direction from someone too chickenshit to leave a real name(much less an email address or url), is the day I close up this website. Offer some constructive criticism or shut the fuck up.

by mg at March 16, 2002 1:13 AM


oh my, aren't we crabby tonight. well, me too. men and women really shouldn't live together. just have the sex and go home already.

and i totally agree that women should stop being such babies. we should definitely apologize when we're wrong - and we are wrong occasionally. man, if i could have found someone i could be comfortable and hang out with the rest of my life, i would be the happiest woman alive.

by lavonne at March 16, 2002 6:26 AM


I'M LONELY!

by eff at March 16, 2002 6:59 PM


I agree here too. Woman have this thing about saying the dreaded words, I am sorry and I was wrong. We bitch about men not doing so but most of the time men do say it 100% more than we woman. Men are so less complex than the woman species, I am not sure even I could actually live with another woman you know? It may sound good at first and all understanding and all but in the end woman have this thing with other woman, it is not like the male competition (nice clean game fight) thing it is more like a bitch fight! Just think of how many times you have heard your g/f or g/friends both of male and females see a really hot looking woman walk in and intentionally FIND something very wrong with her? Its this woman thing I guess, guys on the other hand are not normally like that contrary to popular invisions. So my personal choice would still be to procreate with a male and live with a male but thats not saying that two men can't have a healthy relationship or that two woman could not have a healthy relationship, it is all about preference I suppose.

Eff, I dare say you would not be as lonely if you would PLAY NICE dammit! :-) Just kidding but it is all about attitude man! A guy can look so pathetic almost anyone would puke but if he has the best attitude and can hold a good conversation, he is IN!

by Pristine at March 18, 2002 5:13 PM


Ah, just kidding. Thankfully, this last run has allowed me to realize i am not in fact all that lonely. I couldnt change my attitude if I wanted and playing nice is for the uninteresting. I want to play rough, feel the wind in my hair, drive my enemies before me and hear the lamentation of their women. then? get a taco.

by eff at March 19, 2002 2:29 PM



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