Not all that long ago, politically-astute types here in Texas were all atwitter over the fact that two Hispanic-Americans are running for the Democratic gubernatorial nomination. They even had a debate in Spanish, the first time that has ever happened in Texas.
What began with so much hope quickly deteriorated into just another business-as-usual crappy election campaign, although it certainly SOUNDS better in Spanish. Iím not sure if the language actually makes a difference, or if I like it simply because I canít understand most of what is being said. What DOES mudslinging sound like in Spanish, anyway??
The winner gets to meet the Republican incumbent, Rick Perry, (aka Governor Goodhair) in the general erection (I mean election) in November. Perryís claim to fame is that heís not Shrub, who so distinguished himself as Guv that he got his own bad self a promotion to the Big House. Perry hasnít actually done much except wield a wicked veto pen. If he has an agenda of his own, heís keeping it well-hidden.
But, I digress. The Democrats- Tony Sanchez and Dan Morales- are, at least for now, the main event. When Morales was the Texas Attorney General, he won a huge settlement from the tobacco companies. Unfortunately, heís been under investigation for the past two years for cutting some of his lawyer friends in on the deal.
Sanchez, a wealthy businessman, has been accused by Morales of trying to buy the election. Excuse me, but isnít that a time-honored American tradition? Hello, the Golden Rule: he who has the gold makes the rules?? It works as well here in Texas as anywhere, and better than most places. We like our politicians a bit on the rascally side, anyway.
So there you have it: Morales (Has anyone seen my personality??), Sanchez (I really need your vote. Will you take a check?), or Perry (Iím not Dubya, dammit!!)? Anyone have a three-sided coin?
Mudslinging in Spanish sounds similar to those Spanish-channel Jerry Springer shows ("How long has she been calling you a puta?" "Since we were 8 years old..." all in Spanish, of course.) and ya gotta love Dubya. He's the only prez we've had who's name is only ONE letter. We've had three before (FDR, for example) but... just DUBYA. Yeah.
by SpyderGreywolf at November 25, 2002 9:13 PM