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On Icebreaking: Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.

by space at 09:40 PM on September 04, 2001

So, here's hoping you're all drunk.

Any Ogden Nash fans out there?

Erm. Hi. I'm Space. I'll be writing here.

mg told me to introduce myself. I do feel a little like I've been left alone at a party where I don't know anyone, but I'm rather good at those. I find that a good start is to make an ass of myself.

Maybe not this time.

I've been writing at a site called SpaceCheese. There's a link to it over there on the right. Never noticed that before, have you? No, no, you can't fool me, statistics don't lie. My posts here will probably be different in that they'll be less personal and less linky. Why do the same thing at both sites, right? I mean, if you liked that sort of thing, you would already be a SpaceCheese reader.

Yeah, I'm a little nervous. Don't worry, I'm sure we'll get to be great friends. It's not like I have no idea at all what to do. I've been reading this site since, oh, before you were born.

You're all four or five months old, right?

This'll be just like a new relationship: I figure I'll probably try too hard for a while: you'll get posts with lots of complicated humor and teetering sentence structure. Dates in expensive restaurants and lots of oral sex. Stuff designed to impress you with my better qualities. Then we'll get used to each other a bit and I probably won't try hard enough. You'll get a lot of posts about mundane things like how drunk I got last weekend. I'll start hanging out with my poker buddies and fall asleep right after I come. Then you'll yell at me about the magic being gone, and I'll look startled. Hopefully, things will then settle down and I start to write about how drunk I got last weekend in perilously overwrought prose and start falling asleep as I'm performing oral sex.

So, things to know about me:

Tall, skinny, hetero male. 23 damn years old. Narcissistic, smart, but not as smart as I pretend to be. Considerably lazier than I pretend to be. Occupationally slumming and sexually frustrated, which seems to be a bit of a theme around here.

Went to the same university as snaggle, shar, and mg, though I only met that last guy after we'd both graduated. Seems a nice enough sort, I suppose.

pet peeves: People who drive slowly to be on the safe side, yet don't use their turn signals; the sound of someone chewing if I can't see them; people in grocery stores carefully selecting a brand of white zinfandel; midget jokes.

That should give us a nice, sturdy foundation. I'll have more "about me" stuff later this week. You may have had enough, but I haven't. I'll be honest with you here: I'm my own favorite subject. Don't believe me? Look at this way, what kind of person has an ego so large it needs two websites to contain it?

Well, you're about to find out.

comments (12)

What kind of person needs two websites? I never thought of it as an ego issue, more of an expression of excess. I mean, I do it, in fact technically three sites, & I don't have a large ego.

However I am more than delighted to see you posting here, since I can't see SpaceCheese from here. I'm lifting a can of Fosters in your honor as we speak.

by kd at September 4, 2001 11:08 PM

Yay, someone else to pick up the slack while I sell my soul, body, and left nut to the College of Design.

Bleach. Anyone want to keep me as a houseboy instead? I speak many languages and can cook...

by snaggle at September 5, 2001 1:14 AM

Woo hoo! Let the "trying a little too hard" phase commence. (You should be laughing at that, sir, if you are indeed trying hard to impress). Oh, wait, you know me. :) By the way, I was reading your post while chewing gum, got to your pet peeves, and although I am by myself, felt self-conscious about the amount of chomping that was going on. *Feeling rather obnoxious and embarrassed* *chomp*

by SwingCheese at September 5, 2001 10:41 AM

WOW Space here too! Hmmm...gum chewing is a bad habit of mine too. I have a dentist friend who made me feel oh so much better about my little vice by telling me it was a good thing to do for the teeth? No use of turn signals has become a Texas thang...BIG TIME! Snaggle, one thing if you really want to be a house boy check out the six different ways site! Charles put up this cool link yesterday about cool jobs doing just that! Weird huh? :-)

by Pristine at September 5, 2001 12:47 PM

Yay! Space is here, I think this place is complete...except for the exclusion of TripleB from that cute 'friends' link but I'm sure I can overlook that.

I drive slowly, but I've only had 5 lessons so I'm not used to it and I'm all jittery and hate thinking I slow people up, though I do drive at about 25mph

by Mike at September 5, 2001 1:32 PM

Congratulations! I'm glad you're here - I could really use some oral sex right now.

by Lex at September 5, 2001 4:14 PM

i think you're the worst samaritan ever! and i mean that in the nicest possible way.

by andrew p at September 5, 2001 6:45 PM

Great...there goes my story about the beloved slow-driving joke of a midget going to the grocery store to pick out a bottle of white zin.

by Charles at September 5, 2001 10:01 PM

Um, Pristine . . . when a young gay man says "houseboy", he's talking about an entirely diffeent kind of job ;)

by Charles at September 5, 2001 10:02 PM

Ummm ok....hahahahahhaaha So Can I help it if I am not totally VERSED in this area as you all...SUE me..no Charles, that was a joke don't be doing that....haha :0)

by Pristine at September 6, 2001 2:27 AM

I'd like to get back to the subject of people making chewing sounds. My boss is sitting behind me once again eating something really, really crunchy and I'm wondering, just how long is it that you get for murder if it's spontaneous and almost looks like an accident? Gosh, that would be voluntary manslaughter, on a first offense, oh, maybe ten years, I'd be out in 5 with good behavior, hmmmm.....

by kd at September 6, 2001 11:14 AM

How far is it from Dallas to Vancouver, Lex?

by Charles at September 6, 2001 8:56 PM

comments are closed