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best, my ass

by mg at 09:52 AM on September 19, 2001

Not much to be happy about in New York at the moment. Things may be returning back to normal, but nearly 5,000 people are still missing. That and I’m still unemployed. People have been known to survive buried under rubble during earthquakes, for two weeks, but I’m not sure my checking account can survive two more weeks with out a deposit.

My bank account is as sick of “withdrawals” as some people are with the still constant media coverage. Sure, I still watch about thirty hours of news a day, but if I see one more graphic proclaiming “America: At War” or “Terror at the Towers” I’m going to call in an air strike on Dan Rather. But, lets get back to my problem. I’m still sans job. It is getting rather depressing.

I did this automated online interview at Best Buy yesterday. Yes, I’m so desperate that I’m even willing to return to retail. Well, I was taking the interview and there are, like, a million questions. Even though there were 50 questions there were really only 5 different ones, they were so repetitive. They’d ask things like “Do you prefer to work in a team or by yourself?” and then two questions later ask, “Would you say you’d rather work alone or as part of a team?”

I can only assume that the person writing the questions must have just gotten a new thesaurus and was all excited for the chance to use it. “Let’s see, ‘alone’ has seven synonyms, so I might as well come up with seven questions. Huzzah! God bless you, Roget!”

A couple of the questions were about stealing. Shit, I’ll admit it; I’ve stolen things before. But man, I felt terrible about it afterward. And I’ve certainly never stolen anything from work (besides office supplies, and who can really call that stealing?). However, when they asked whether an employee should be fired for stealing only $1 from the company I answered “no”. And when they asked whether an employee who gets caught stealing $5 from the company should get a second chance I answered “yes.”

Besides for those two questions, I answered everything exactly like I’m sure they would have wanted their employees to answer. I said I wouldn’t mind random drug screening, or working late, or performing oral on my manager in the stock room. Well, after I got through the all the questions the automated system told me I didn’t fit the profile of a Best Buy employee.

Shit. Rejected by Best Buy. I feel bad, but at the same time, I don’t feel so bad, because if I had fit their ideal employee profile, I’d probably end up working there. I wasn’t going to apply at all, but I don’t have a job and I need a job. It doesn’t look like that’ll happen any time soon so I’ve decided to apply for other types of jobs, even if I will end up hating them. So I applied at Best Buy and they rejected me. I may feel like a complete loser right now, but at least I don’t have to feel guilty for not trying. “Better to have applied and failed, than never to have applied to Best Buy at all,” my mom always said.

I need a job, and real bad, but damn, I think people deserve second chances, don’t you? Maybe that employee stole the money to buy his kids one of the new season three Digimon action figures. I’m not going take a toy out of a baby’s hand. Or maybe that employee stole the money to take his 15-year-old girlfriend out for a Big Mac and super-sized fries. I’m not going to C-Block a kid who is only trying to get his swerve on. If it was only $5 and only one time, I say, forgive and forget.

But, apparently Best Buy doesn’t feel the same way I do about the matter. I guess this is what I get for being honest. I was honest at my last job too. One day my boss asked me how I was doing and I said “I hate working here, I hate my job, I hate my desk, and most of all I hate you and your stupid, ass-face.” Which is pretty much why I’m unemployed now. Damn that honesty, you’d think I would have learned by now.

comments (14)

There's a difference between stealing for the hell of it, and stealing to feed one's family or something. Either could be forgiven (considerations being taken, of course, as to number of times this has occurred, amount taken, etc.), but I have way more sympathy and support for Robin Hood types than upper middle class, white-collar types that get busted for money laundering and fraud.

by SwingCheese at September 19, 2001 10:17 AM

there is a reason some of the questions on the test seemed so similar to each other.

basically it's to ensure the consistancy of the answer. it's pretty much just to get rid of order effects and practice effects of the exam.

mg, if you ever have to fill out one of those ghastly things again, just lie and respond in the way you think they would want you to respond.

personally, i agree with space, but that's not what the company wants to hear...

by minja ninjarama at September 19, 2001 11:34 AM

I think that it was an old Dilbert strip that advised employees to make up for being underpaid by stealing office supplies.

Yeah, mg, you really got to lie your ass off. Then you can be like me, bitching about broken staplers and three-whole punches all the damn time.

Or else, have a friend get you a job. I once had an interview that consisted of one question: "You're n's friend? Welcome aboard!"

by space at September 19, 2001 12:18 PM

i guess this is something a lot of people are facing now - considering jobs that are outside of their specialty and resenting it. here is a similar experience, courtesy of greasy skillet: http://www.greasyskillet.org/log/archives/00000019.html

by bobthecorgi at September 19, 2001 12:22 PM

MG I sware I know what your going through! I am an accountant, and in Dallas Texas we have too many of them! Not to mention that Dallas is so hard hit by lay-offs it is unreal! Sure, I could take a job making min. wage and then have to take at least two more to even make a dent in what I need, which at this point, I am seriously considering that!

Boeing is going to lay off 30,000 MORE employees, that is a huge company here in the Dallas area and also means that yet again after it is all said and done with contracts they have signed with smaller companies it looks like that amount will go to 100,000 hit!

I can only tell you I have sent out over 200 resumes in the past six months and have only went on about 20 interviews which about 100 people were being interviewed for the exact same job. I feel for you, I really do!

by Pristine at September 19, 2001 3:34 PM

You could have my job. I'm sure you'd be way better at it than I am. I think I'd rather be driving a taxi.

You'd probably have to move to Southern California if you wanted my job, though, and you know what a drag that could be.

Oh yeah, those tests? I used to be a Job Developer and some of my client/students applied to the Sheriff's Department to be Service Techs (uniformed but un-sworn in jail cops) and the test went so far to ask, if you were at a crosswalk at midnight and the light was green but the don't walk sign said don't walk, and there were no cars in sight anywhere, would you cross? And the answer they were looking for in this case was, no, I'd stand there till it said walk. Students who were honest flunked. Those who lied passed. My conclusion is, they're looking for good liars.

by kd at September 19, 2001 3:47 PM

yo mg, i think they are interviewing, down at Gay Male Hookers R Us.

by Tom at September 19, 2001 7:07 PM

I guess the ideal Best Buy employee is one who's willing to lie when it's convenient.

I had a similar experience once where, trying to get some crappy retail job, I answered that yes, I might consider giving a friend my discount and added a note in the Explain Your Answer box for that question that I wouldn't do so without getting a manager's permission first. Didn't matter, the computer rejected me. They, too, just want people who know when to lie, I guess.

by Muad'Dib at September 19, 2001 10:11 PM

There seems to be lots of jobs here in the midwest, but, um... they're in the midwest. Ugh. Sorry, I can't help you.

Actually, check the Human Resource section of University web pages. Last time I looked, the University of MO needed about 5 differen't web developers. Colleges are like mini cities. You can find a job doing about anything at one.

by Josh (MrB) at September 20, 2001 12:57 AM

I agree with kd and Muad'Dib - it's good liars they're looking for.

My very first job interview, for a crappy underpaid student Saturday job when I was 16 years old, I was asked if I saw my future in retail. Being the nice, well-brought-up young lady I was truthful and said "no". The interviewer's face turned stony and she told me she thought I was wasting her time. Getting the picture, rather suddenly, I replied that I thought it was she who was wasting mine and I left. I mark that day as the day I grew up.

HR people have been anathema to me ever since.

by suey at September 20, 2001 5:42 PM

One time I got a big, official looking letter in the mail. It was from a company who’s name I don’t remember at the moment, but it basically said that I was just the person they were interested in hiring. They wanted me to come to a job interview at a certain date. Now, I lived near Hannibal, Mo. and wasn’t worried about getting kidnapped or having my organs stolen. Nothing happens in Hannibal. I was 17 and hating school and life in general. Then someone was interested in me.

It felt good to be wanted, so I went to the interview. When I got there I found about 10 other people in ties or dresses waiting in a room and filling out a form. I walked in with my letter in hand and the secretary gave me a clipboard and told me to fill it out. When I asked about why I had gotten the letter and what the company did she told me that I would find out in the interview. I said that I didn’t want to wait in line for something I didn’t know about. She said that asking questions was rude and unprofessional. I told her to stop wasting people’s time and dropped the clipboard on the floor and left. About 3 others left with me.

I have no clue as to what they were doing, or selling or scheming but I wasn’t going to have any part of it. So no one was really interested in me. It was a marketing/psychological ploy to trick people into coming to them. God knows what kind of shitty job they had in store.

I swore, that would be the last time I was dicked around.

by Mr Blank at September 21, 2001 10:39 PM

I work at Best Buy (here after to be refered to as Moloch).

Almost a year.

No vacation and all sick time has to be accounted for.

Rules out the wazoo (all of which can be ingnored by management).

I'm probably going to be fired today, but I'm not going quietly.

by Neil at January 15, 2002 5:21 AM

I just quit best buy after working there for 6 years. I feel like I have been released from sort of prison because of the control they have over you. They have at least 3 meetings a month, the most i remember was 7 in one month. These meetings were about meetings they had before talking about a meeting that lead to another meeting. Best Buy thinks they are the cream of the crop and my God do they have rules to back that up. In their handbook it is stated that you are not allowed to have a second job because they cant control your hours, in other words, they cant control you. They state that having a second job that conflicts with their scheduling habits is grounds for termination. I hate Best Buy for the stress they have induced on me. There were times that I left work and my chest was tight and im only 26. Best Buy is a joke. They have so many procedures to do one thing that not one manager or any high authority can give the same answer on how to do something properly. Keep this in mind, Best Buy is Satan incarnate on earth. They are evil in everything they do and say. They are of the purest of heartlessness and with that said, I urge you not to join their team. I have seen employees fired because his wife was pregnant and she was about to have her baby. He called in 3 times in one week and the managers said that was too excessive and interfered with their sells of extended warraties. That employee was fired 4 days before his baby was born, and Best Buy knew it. I have also seen managers tell employees that sick relatives are not a priority at work and they need to leave their personal interests at the door. I have seen employees denied sick leave because Best Buy didnt believe, even with a doctor note, that he was sick. I have seen Best Buy delete employee hours just because they made an itsy bitsy mistake, therefore 8 hours of work has no way to be traced and the employee worked for free. I have been told that I was worthless and I suck at my job by a district personel just because I didnt sweep the floor properly. I hate best buy and all their corporate power and I cant wait to piss on their grave when their hay day is over. I sit here and tell you the truth, none of this is made up. Trust me, Best Buy is evil.

by Steve at January 27, 2002 10:45 PM

Speaking of best buy...
I was at best buy once asking for ddr pc2100...and i mentioned how it runs at 266mhz(they made me draw pictures for them practically..and in doing so this was mentioned) and then she(the incompetant employee) burst out like she had a sudden magic knowledge gaining and said "DDR runs at 2100MHz"...I just agreed with her and left...My crayolas were running short...she also asked what board i had...i told her k7ama and she just stood their blankly for a second...like she was just curious or something..because that sure didnt seem to enlighten her on the ddr thing...

by Jonathan at August 21, 2002 1:55 AM

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