what a girl wants

by mg at 12:14 PM on April 19, 2001

In response to last week's Bad Advice LJ, a real live woman, writes in with some real insight into a woman's internal monolugue upon meeting a guy for the first time:

Hi, nice to meet you. You are kind of cute. Damn, I should have worn those other pants that make my ass look round. Plus I forgot to put that anti-friz stuff in my hair. Are you smart? Do you like good music? Do you have your shit together emotionally? (more than my last boyfriend?) Are you a challenge? (more than my last boyfriend?)I might want to have sex with you, if I could stop comparing you to my last boyfriend. He spoiled me rotten. But he was fucked up. I loved it when he smacked my ass. But he had no direction. God, I hope you like to lick pussy, because if you don't, forget it. My last boyfriend was really good at that. I love oral sex. I don't want to ask for it. I hope guys like going down on girls. Can I come without being stoned? I wonder if this guy has any grass. Am I wearing good underwear? Should I get waxed or keep shaving myself? I will flirt with you and indicate that I will give it up. Just to keep my options open. In the meantime I will keep checking out how cool you are by my own twisted stardards. And if you are better than my last boyfriend. But I might not give it up. If you get me some chocolate you will raise your chances. Damn. I have to pee. How embarassing.

If that is really what women are thinking, I have to make sure to always keep a brick of hash in my left pocket and a brick of chocolate in the right.

Hey, wouldn't you all like to see LJ to become a regular poster here? I know I would.