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don't be a 'phobe

by snaggle at 03:17 PM on October 25, 2000

So it's Monday night in quiet Ames, Iowa, and visions of sugarplums and Greek statues are dancing in my head as I prepare to enjoy a practically sleepless night studying for an art history exam on the following day. I'm walking along with Bob, a friend of mine, heading towards Santa Fe Espresso, in the middle of Campustown.

It's about 10pm. We cross Lincoln Way. I'm wearing green corduroy pants, a beige shirt, and sporting a shaved head and a green backpack. Bob is wearing large jeans, a red long-sleeved t-shirt, a red backpack, and spiked brown hair with blonde tips. Bob is straight and I am not (this is important to the story.) We're not doing anything that looks obviously gay, correct? It usually takes a bit more to make such a judgement. And besides, snap judgements are bad, mmmmkay?

Apparently we might as well have been sucking each other off in the middle of Campustown, or perhaps I'm just that obvious. Doubtful, though. Anyway, a car drives past us going the other direction and the driver sticks his head out of the car and yells, Hey, fagboys! Which one of you is going to be the wife?

Bob and I were so taken aback that we didn't know what to do. Had we just been the victims of verbal harrasment on a Monday night in quiet, peace-loving Ames? Or were the silly drunk boys just randomly accosting people and happen to hit the queer, err, nail on the head? Who knows. Maybe he just had good gaydar. It is, however, disturbing. Ames has been the victim of much random anti-gay activities, to other similar stories of drive-by comments to bar beatings.

So what's this all about? Is it so hard to break out of your 'everyone must be exactly like me' paradigm? Whatever happened to 'variety is the spice of life?' Be nice, people. It makes for bad karma to be hateful. Be drinkable. Stop being childish.


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