That Wasn't My Baby!

by adam at 05:59 PM on July 05, 2007

In the wake of the bombing attempts in England and Scotland, something unsurprising has happened. Across the Middle East, people are rising up to say, "The Israelis did it! Or perhaps the CIA!" This isn't much of a surprise. I remember in New York, whenever someone's teenage son would knock over a liquor store, the screaming parent would always appear on the evening news declaring that her son would never do such a thing, and that it must have been the cops who framed her son. Or the Israelis.

It's hard to come to terms with the possibility that your relatives (or co-religionists) have committed heinous crimes. I suppose it's worse when they claim that they did it because God told them to. The truth hurts. But if there's ever going to be progress in the Middle East, Muslims have to come to terms with the idea that some religiously committed Muslims think it's OK to blow stuff (and people) up. Alas, the CIA isn't to blame for everything.

comments (5)

jen x

have a cookie

by jen x at 09:17 PM on April 11, 2007

Dear denizens of the interwebs,

When you create an account on facebook, myspace, orkut, friendster, or any other of the ego-stroking 'look at all of my totally zomg awesome friends!' websites (and I can't judge too harshly, I have some too), the world does not need the big pronouncement of how low you've fallen, how you've totally caved now and bought into the hype and look at all the same crap you're now hosting on yet another website, obnoxious forwarded messages included, and quite honestly, we don't care, because if we really wanted to find you on one of those sites, we'd either email you asking if you had a profile or do a very simple, very easy search on your name/username/email accounts and check for ourselves.

You're not the first person to have a presence on the internet, you won't be the last, and you know what? There's no bloody prize for joining or abstaining. I don't care if you're there or not, I don't care what your reasons are or aren't, and I don't need to hear all about how awesome you find it, how exciting it is to suddenly find all of these old high school, elementary school, or fellow hooker-ass-cocaine-snorting friends you've suddenly gotten back in touch with after all these years.

I don't care. I seriously doubt the rest of us do either, and if you're so stupid as to put so much of your information online already, then I don't know what to tell you aside from asking for your bank account information so I can share the wealth this Nigerian prince wants me to hide off-shore for him.

jen x (and yes, that so totally is my real last name, how'd you know?!)

comments (13)


I'm not aware of too many things...

by anna at 08:52 AM on March 24, 2007

I've learned that in Paris they are going to make thousands of bicycles available basically for free, so long as you return them within 1/2 hour. Based upon a similar venture in Lyon,the idea being to reduce pollution and noise and give residents a chance to work off some of that high-caloric food and wine they guzzle. Win-win as it were. Now if they could just figure out a way to make women shave their armpits and wear deodorant.

cont'd »

comments (14)

jen x

why 2007 is the year of lesbian jen

by jen x at 02:10 PM on March 21, 2007

At our annual New Year's party this year, I declared to my friends that 2007 was going to be the year of lesbian Jen (that's lesbian Jen X to those of you from the interwebs). I also said that I was going to be working up to it slowly -- I started out the evening winking at my girlfriends, and the joke is that the year of lesbian Jen (X) will culminate in a massive, multi-woman orgy on December 31, 2007, and at the stroke of 12, I'll stand up, say something akin to, "Thanks, this was fun!" and return to my previous heterosexual-but-flexible ways.

Now, I like men, I really do, and anyone who's been to my 'other' site can attest to this fact. Hell, anyone who's spent any time in person with me for any length of time can also attest to this, and probably wishes I would stop.

However, every now and then I meet guys who make me long for what my mind assumes would be sapphic bliss.

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comments (16)


It's a shame about Ray

by anna at 12:55 PM on March 17, 2007

Katie S might be onto something. She is commentator #36 or something on this post.

So here goes the guidance from your elders. You take an event in your life, or a tendency or something you've seen, like a strange Arab man loading sundry meats into the trunk of his car. Or even a wacky item plucked from the news. Whatever it is, you make a mockery of it. Adhere to the old Seinfeld mantra, no hugging, no learning. Do not get all political. Title it with a song lyric. Relevance optional. Hit save. Wait an hour while sites are pinged. For example:

cont'd »

comments (9)