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snaggle

Summer of Sin

by snaggle at 11:27 AM on June 27, 2001

It would only be fair of me to tell you all about the wonderful events in my life since turning 21 rather than only the depressing side. The past week has been filled debauchery and... um, well, other illegal substance use/abuse. A few weeks ago my best friend Jeffery decided that this summer would be the Summer of Sin: lots of drinking, drugs, and sex. So far I've grabbed the proverbial bull by its proverbial horns for the first two, but not so much for the third. Ah well. If anyone wants to change that, please let me know. We've woken up and had morning cocktails multiple times, imbibed copious amounts of alcohol, but both of us are a little dry on the boy scene. Ah well.

So I turned 21 at 12:00 AM on Wednesday, June 20th. I was at a bar by 11:57 PM on Tuesday the 19th. (Yes, they actually did make me wait outside for three minutes. I thought it was a joke, but they weren't laughing. Bars and clubs around here are very anal retentive about being 21 to even get in; that’s why whenever someone turns 21, it’s a rule that they have to go out and drink to excess, even if they’re not a big drinker.) That night, between 12:00 and 1:30 AM, I think I consumed about eight alcoholic beverages: three mixed drinks and five shots, I believe. I was just fine the next morning. We went out again starting at 6:00 PM that evening and made a tour of three bars and I had probably twelve or thirteen alcoholic beverages. That night I posted a few drunken comments about articles (you can go back and look for them yourself) that I quite honestly don't remember posting. The next morning, I was not so much fine. My boss had to call me and drag me into work (which wasn't a big deal. I love not having a job where I have to interact with people. Yay, web design!) Why I didn't take the morning off is beyond me; just a moron, I guess.

Over the couple days, I had more drinks and one illegal substance. Then came Saturday. I'd been planning for quite a while on dragging everyone I knew down to Des Moines (about 30 minutes away) to go to The Garden, a gay & lesbian bar/dance club. I had another illegal substance that day and then in the evening completely fretted over what I was going to wear and how to get everyone down there. I even had a few people from out of town joining me, which made the evening just that much more special. Finally, everyone was at The Garden, the person that wasn’t actually 21 got in using another’s ID without any problems, and we were all inside scoping out the place. From what I recall, I had a great time. Everyone was being really nice to me because everyone introduced me as the birthday boy. I danced for a while, got introduced to the owners, had several free drinks (which is a good thing, because drinks there are about $5 each) and was promised a spanking on stage during the drag show at midnight. She forgot to pull me on stage, however, and I was somewhat disappointed. After that, memory starts getting hazy. I was having a great time with more dancing, drinking, and talking with people. I don’t think I ended up dancing in the cage, though our illustrious Shar did. I hear she was dancing with our friend Natalie — and they made around $10! After The Garden closed at 2 AM, everyone was milling around outside. Apparently, the drag queen that promised to spank me finally kept her word; outside the garden, with a crowd of 50-100 people all counting along with every spank, I got 21 spankings so hard I needed someone else to hold me up while I received them.

There are a few more hours to my night that involved wresting with people in the parking lot, during which I think it was that I acquired the scrape on my elbow that hurt the next day; puking in the grass with a lot of people standing around me; trying to get on my neighbor, who turned me down very politely (so I hear;) and finally being put to bed. What a night. The next day I couldn’t figure out if my ass was sore from the spankings or from dancing — probably both.

And now? The past couple days I’ve felt horrible: very unproductive, without any motivation to do anything at all. It was all I could do last night to do some laundry so I had clean clothes to wear today. That’s what sucks about having a great weekend: the next few days after it will suck hardcore. That’ll teach me to have a good time...

comments (2)

“I'd hate to advocate alcohol, drugs, violence or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me”

~Hunter S. Thompson

by kd at June 27, 2001 12:43 PM


According to my calculations, if Natalie and I had continued dancing in that cage for an hour, we each would have made $50.

Damn, I need to get my application to EJ's Gentleman's club ASAP.

by Shar at June 28, 2001 1:06 PM