The Asian Taste Test

by anna at 05:40 PM on November 17, 2006

I'm riding along with the radio on. They're playing a game where listeners call in and relate embrassing or awkward experiences they've had during the week. The worst one wins an x-box 360. It's called Donkey of the Week. Usually it is some lame thing related to fantasy football or toilet paper stuck to someone's shoe at a party.

So a guy calls in and says he was an usher at a wedding. At the rehearsal dinner he got hammered and started making goo-goo eyes at a bridesmaid. They flirted and one thing led to another. Naturally he winds up bending her over a toilet, hiking up her gown and having at her.

It's all good. That is, until they go to leave. There looms his girlfriend, whom he claims to love. She is steaming and not in a good way. She starts berating him and then pushes him back into the bathroom. Up until now it all sounds pretty routine.

Then he slips in that she proceeded to administer the "good ol' taste test." Yes, the taste test! I about veered off the interstate when I heard it. When the hosts expressed disbelief, he said, "Man she Asian. Dem bitches got short fuses, youknowwhatI'msayin'?

That explains everything.

Now this raises as many questions as these 72 comments do in my mind. If it is the "good ol'" taste test that implies that he is familiar with it. Either this girl or others (or guys) have given him the taste test before. And why did she even need the taste test? Here's her man and another women slipping furtively out of the bathroom together, hammered and no doubt disheveled to boot.

She needed a taste test like OJ needed a trial (or a $3.5m book deal.) And once you've started the taste test, wouldn't etiquette (if not logic) dictate that you...continue? Or should she bite it off and spit it into the toilet he bent the bridesmaid over? And is this some Asian chick custom like their tongue-up-butt number? And unless she is, like, bi, which I don't believe anyone really is, how does she know what taste she is testing for? Has she dipped into her own honey pot for a snack in a pinch? I have got to say these two were made for one another.

But most of all, how is it that this guy didn't score the x-box 360? I mean, it doesn't get any more busted than the positive taste test.

Ha!