Terrifies me, makes me party

by anna at 07:23 PM on November 01, 2006

North Korea has once again shocked the world by agreeing to begin attending the fabled "six nation talks" that of late have consisted of just five nations that don't meet. It is like an AA meeting without the drunks or the coffee. Let's listen in.

Condi Rice: You just detonated a feeble A-bomb. We believe this is unacceptable. You need to disarm.
Kim Jong Il: Forget that. You are old but cute. Would you like star in my upcoming porno? I have many nubile American starlets line up! One star in in Saw III. They suck Kim dick but don't do that tongue-in-ass thing. Such prudes!
Condi Rice: You can't be serious.
Kim Jong Il: Never more serious. Do you know I spend more weekly on American cognac than average North Korean make in year? That why they call me Dear Leader! We've arranged for lunch. At noon caterer be here. He cook a cocker spaniel at table with torch. You gonna like!
Vladimir Putin: Thanks but no thanks. I'll just have vodka with more vodka on the side and vodka for dessert.
Mao Tse Tongue: We have nukes. Russkies have nukes. America have nukes. Why not Kim? Sure he weird but what difference? Just because citizens root around for grubs while he smoke cigars and bang starlet doesn't mean he be deprived of nukes!
Vladamir Putin: Pass me the bottle Mr. Jones.
Emperor Hirohito: Look, I no want dog. Send in California roll. And no, you can't have nukes because your missiles maybe hit Japan. We already been through all that.
Condi Rice: I second that. No dog. Can we get back to the nuke issue?
Emperor Hirohito: Yeah, what she said!
Kim Jong Il: Don't even get Dear Leader started. What about comfort women issue? You Japs enslave my chicks, turn them into whores and refuse to pay them. What kind business is that?
Emperor Hirohito: They stuck their tongues up my ass. Whoo-hoo!
Mao Tse Tongue: Watch it!
Vladamir Putin: Zzzzzzz...