Proud to Be an American

by anna at 05:38 PM on November 09, 2006

I see this bumper sticker all the time and it always is on cars driven by people who look foreign born and they usually have the flag of another country displayed somewhere on the vehicle. Maybe the rest of us just take our freedom and prosperity for granted. People in the most godforsaken places on earth do not.

It's gotten very trendy to pretend you care about the atrocious conditions in various hellholes around the globe. Oh the genocide in Darfur just breaks somebody's heart. But UN types are quick to point out that the dire situation periodically improves.

Sometimes a celeb will go these awful places and pluck a hapless baby from the squalor and muck. She'll brush away the swarm of mosquitoes and flies and clutch the young-un to her silicone bosom. It makes for a great photo-op but she hastily turns the day-to-day management of the kid over to her staff. In short a meangingless gesture.

Yeah Darfur is bad. So is Cambodia where Mr. Pot murdered all the smart people. Thailand sucks with its thriving preteen sex trade. Russians are dropping off like flies. Bosnia bites. Africa is ravaged with the AIDS and drought. Somolia has no government. There are too many Indonesians. Innuits are falling through the mushy ice. At any given moment 100 or more low-level wars are raging. People the dimensions of Nicole Ritchie starve to death by the minute. Sucks to be them.

But nothing compares with the strife and hellish conditions in the absolute worst place on Earth. How can this be? An oil-rich country, relatively secular and stable until 2003 and now the worst place to be bar none? Who is responsible for this outrage? You are. You trusted George W. Bush. You must be stupider than him except that is impossible.

Of those 100 wars, 99 involve intercene conflicts usually between rival tribes or factions within a given nation. Only one involves a nation forcibly invading and overrunning another inarguably sovereign nation with a duly elected president and then stringing him up by his gonads. Only one leader would have the audacity to pull off something like that on a whim. Only George W. Bush.

God damn George W Bush whose only good point is that he has not engaged in a zesty threesome with his daughters. God damn Dick Cheney who can still claim he hasn't shot several billion folks in the face, just the one and it was so an accident. And most of all god damn that smug Donald Rumsfeld. Good riddance.

Of course the dems wrested control of congress from the pubs. Bush Cheney and Rumsfeld are pubs. Hell Nazis could have beat the pubs soundly. If they met the age, citizenship and sobriety requirements a rowdy bunch of frat boys could have bested those old warmongers.

If you're not part of the future then get out of way.