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That musta been some other body no no child it wasn't me...
by anna at 09:47 AM on September 09, 2006
I'm a lover, not a fighter. My "number" hovers around 50. But I have never been in a real fistfight, unless you count the time I broke a speaker grill over the head of my stalker who was found murdered the next day. No altercations, no fisticuffs, no barroom brawls. The latter is significant, considering that I used to make my living as a pool hustler.
I have assiduously avoided situations that might lead to violent encounters with men. I don't even like men, as I find most of them intimidating. And I've certainly never even considered raising my fist in anger at a women. My knuckles remain unscathed at age 47.
Maybe I am a combination of a man and a wuss. What Detective Monk calls a "muss."
But I do wonder what would happen if I strolled into a biker bar clad in a t-shirt that reads "All Biker Gangs Are Wimpy Faggots." Surely a fracas would ensue. Would I just let myself get knocked out, stomped upon and ultimately get carried away on a gurney or in a body bag? Or would I gamely fight back? Could I even land a solid punch? Or would I fight all sissified like a girl? Could I absorb a smashing blow to the face? Or would I wilt like cheap supermarket roses?
Could I fire a gun and shoot somebody dead? Slit someone's throat? Behead a guy for a webcast? Could I muster the nerve in a pinch? Could you?
comments (3)
S'gotta be a good thing right? Unscathed knuckles at 47. I've never been one to go on a night out looking for a fight, they've always sorta just found me... and I have a reckless disregard for my safety so when all the threatening jibing crap is going on I'm usually wide open for a hit, but I discovered at around age fifteen that you gotta really lamp me one to get me down, luckily guys panicking to get the first shot in always swing a hook and never seem to favour the jab, so my nose is in good shape, having only been broken once.
You know when it's coming, the fight, when a guy you've never met before suddenly has something he'd like to share with you, right in your face. This guy will be alone or have one friend, and already have downed more booze than he can handle. If he's not demanding a cigarette he'll be asking what your problem is. Your problem will no doubt be your ease around the fairer sex, be they friends or strangers you've just met and are talking to. I think these guys want to fight because it's quite probably the only way they can get a female in the room to notice them.
So it goes: Guy approaches to spout random crap, if it's overly friendly but you know it feels wrong, he's the type to crack you without you realising it, so take a decent step back while remaining jovial and friendly, or step too close to force him a step back, while still being friendly, lol. Keep your breathing deep and steady, and try to be aloof (I usually genuinely am, when it starts I adopt the, "If it's gonna happen it's gonna happen attitude.") you'll notice your opposite number is breathing rapidly, hehe, do a head count of his mates if any, if your own friends' headcount is lacking guage his friends' strengths, if they have you beat, "Well, it's gonna happen, it's gonna happen." lol. If they don't have you beat do a bouncer check to make sure you have at least three punches worth of time before they arrive, and if they're not in sight at time of checking and this freak in your face hasn't hit you hit yet... take a breath and deliver your best.
by Ex Crimson Guard NCO at September 10, 2006 8:13 AM
Eh, you violent Brits. In school everyone knew that teachers, like the bouncers, would break up every fight before any serious damage was done. As it was happening people would chant, "fight, fight, a [n-word] and a white!"
by anna at September 10, 2006 11:01 AM
Yeah I think that school thing happens across the globe, in my school though the spectating kids would not only chant, "fight fight", they'd also spit on the scuffling twosome. Like the plebs of ancient Rome or something, highlight of the day was a couple of kids covered in phlegm and bruises.
by Ex Crimson Guard NCO at September 10, 2006 8:32 PM